Here and There.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXXI, Issue II, 11 July 1903, Page 84

Here and There.

Great Britain is only half the size of Sumatra. England without Wales is almost the same size as Roumania. and is less than a quarter the size of France.

To ordinary eyes a man one thousand yards away—say. on a rifle range — appears as i> dot: he could not lie known as a man except as being a smaller dot than a horse.

Professor Babniet has proved that comets, instead of having a solid body, with a gaseous tail, are much lighter weight than our air. Even if a comet were to strike the earth it would hardly penetrate its atmosphere.

The venom of snakes contains only intermediary bodies which alone would not be virulently poisonous, ’nut the normal blood serum of susceptible animals contains the substances which, by conjoint action with the intermediary bodies of the venom, cause the deadly poisoning.-

In a recent article in a widely read magazine on "Niels Finson and his Healing Kays ’ it is said. "All rhe world might now have small pox without fear of disfigurement.” The red light treatment was experimented with long before and much since that publication, and the results show the quoted statement to be unwarranted.

The latest development pf the slot machine is one for distributing medicines. Each will contain a dozen simple remedies to suit ordinary emergencies. Paris doctors, who already complain of hard times, are up in arms against the suggestion. Besides there is danger of the medicine getting mixed and a man taking something that would make him worse instead of better. t _

At Frimley, England, last month, the funeral took place of Mrs Sarah Jones, the last of the nurses who went through the Crimea with Miss -Nightingale. Mrs Jones, who was-eighty-four, xvas buried, according to her expressed wish, with the badge given her by Miss Nightingale, bearing the words, “Miss Nightingale, Sentari Hospital.’’

Dr. Charles Kelly, medical officer for West Sussex, refers, in his annual report, to the serious exodus which is taking place from the country to towns. Young people, he states, leave the rural districts at an early age, and flock to towns, with the result that the birthrate in the country is very low. This diminution, he adds, has in other countries been an early but sure sign of a nation’s decay.

It is proposed to hold in London, in November next, a national festival of British music, with the object of illustrating both the present state of musical art in the country and also its historical relation to the work of past composers. There are to be six concerts of choral and orchestral music, and a guarantee fund of not less than £5OOO is required. Some of it—-£2ooo—has already been subscribed, and now the public is appealed to for the balance.

There is a prospect of yet another Antarctic expedition. At the present moment Great Britain. Scotland, Germany and Sweden arc represented in the South Polar regions by well-equipped and eare-luUy-orgMiised.expeditions. It has just been'decided by the Institute of France that the expedition which was to have gone north this summer under Dr. Charcot shall be prepared for a voyage to the Antarctic instead, in order that France may be able to co-operate with the other nations in advancing our knowledge of thdsc regions. The enterprise will remain under the care of Dr. Charcot, who will be assisted by Captain de Gerlache, the gallant commander of the Belgian Antarctic expedition, and it is hoped that a start may be made this year, Tierra del Fuego being mentioned as a probable base for the French undertaking. ‘ ’

In a few weeks a novel experiment will be tried in London, under the auspices of the Four Per Cent. Industrial Dwellings Company, of which Lord Rothschild is the chairman. The main idea is to relieve the overcrowding of the East End of London by inducing the Jew to migrate to North Loudon. Three acres in High street. Stoke Newington, just opposite West Hackney Church, have been built upon, the two avenues known as Coronation ar- 1 Imperial avenues, containing dwellings on the flat system, capable of accommodating 326 families. The aim of the directors is that, as far as practicable. 50 per cent, of the tenants shall consist of Jews, and the rest Christians.

Professor Virchow said that the Albanians have the most intellectual skulls in Europe. They are, however, seized of the idea that they have a better right to exist than other races, and that all other races, being inferior, are on earth only to servo them. Death has no terror's for the Albanian, for liis highest philosophy is in the saying, "Dying is a plague, but it is half a plague to live.”

Mr Frederick Goodall, the well-known artist and Royal Academician, was last month granted an immediate discharge from bankruptcy. The Official Receiver reported that the bankruptcy had been brought on by “unjustifiable extravagance,” but the Registrar said that, taking all the circumstances into consideration, he should displace that charge. It was pointed out that Mr Goodall was over eighty years old and in poor health, and that the income from his pictures had fallen from £lO,OOO to about £lOOO a year. The creditors will receive 13/9 in the pound.

Those who find it a bore to answer half a dozen letters a week should be Kings for a month or so to know what, hard work in letter-writing really means. Our own King deals with 1000 letters and 30,00<i newspapers daily; the German Emperor gets off with COO to 700; the King of Italy receives-about 500; the Queen of Holland has ' the somewhat moderate number of 100 to 150. The Pope heads the list, but then his dominions extend over several continents, nationalities and millions; and it is perhaps not surprising, therefore, that his daily receipt of letters and papers amounts from 22,000 to 33,000, and that he requires the services of 35 secretaries'.

A crusade against women gambling at euchre has been instituted in New York. Women have become so infatuated by the game that a number of husbands have been driven to the unusual course of appealing to the police for assistance in keeping their wives at home. The Police Commissioner, General Greene, has decided that euchre parties are well within the provision of the law against gambling, and has issued instructions that they be prohibited in the future. Two euehre establishments in Brooklyn refuse to close, and they have been raided by the police, while detectives are now at work attempting •to secure evidence against games which are being run in secret.

“On to Amerika!” is the cry of the Finns. An : American Coniipissiuii returned to America brought sad stories . of the state of Ahis denationalised but ■ really great country. A reign of ter- ’ ror was inaugurated last month by the Russian general, Bobrikoff —a sort of Slavic Weyler, from accounts. Because the Finns refused to carry the Czar's muskets, and because a levy of 215,000 men netted 146 conscripts, and because “Poor Finland” —advanced in the arts, literature and science, for Seven hundred years a free and prosperous nation, key to the European situation —no longer exists. It is all Russia. A widespread movement is on foot to furnish money to throw down the poverty floodgates and let loose a vast tide nt “migration on America.

A mill at Greenwood, Maine, U.S.A., was not in use or occupied last summer, but recently it had to be set going. . Six men worked all day, unsuccessfully, to start the engine. The next day two experts tackled the job, failed, and finally took the engine apart. The cylinder was filled with nuts. A squirrel had evidently gone in through the exhaust pipe, discovered a convenient pantry, and carefully put away in it his winter stores.

Some amusing letters recently appeared in the London "Standard” on extraordinary names. In a village near Oxford a country policeman in charge of the district presented his infant son for baptism. “Name this child,’’ said the learned Oxford divine. “Septimus Octavius, sir,” returned the policeman. “But, er “es; that’s all right, sir. He's the seventh son, but the eighth child! " ‘And so the christening was completed.

American dollars are supporting one hundred noble families of Europe at the present day, remarks an American paper. Each family averages a million a year. The total sum which this country contributes to the maintenance of titles in Europe, amounts to 100,000.000 dollars. Each million represents the price which an American girl’s father is paying for the nobility coveted by his daughter. They also represent the restoration of ancient houses, the rejuvenation of old families, and the rehabilitation of time honoured titles. Pittsburg millions of the Thaw family are the latest to be sent on the missionary errand of saving the repute of a bankrupt English name. When Miss Alice Thaw exchanged her millions for a title, the impoverished house of Yarmouth, in. Warwickshire, was placed out of the trouble, and the list of families thus succoured reached an even hundred.

“Speaking of competitions,” said old Bonser—nobody was speaking of them, by the by, but that is a little way bld. Bonser has—“l remember onee being present at a singing ’match in Bermondsey. The prize was a newly-built house, to which a dairy was attached, and it was to be awarded by the vote of the audience. Of course the enthusiasm was tremendous, and after a dozen or two had sung, I remember a man with a reedy tenor voice got up and sung one of those old, old country songs which have a hundred and fifty verses or so, you know. He sang seventy of ’em.’’ Old Bonser ceased, as he always does, just at the most interesting part of the story. That is another of his little ways. “Well, said his youngest nephew, “did the audience vote him the prize?” “They did, sonny, and they gave it to him on the spot. He got it brick by brick and egg by by egg.”

A notable picture was sold at Willis* Rooms, London, last month. This was Gainsborough’s portrait of Elizabeth Foster. Duchess of Devonshire, second wife of William, fifth. Duke of Devonshire. Although this is not the “missing Duchess,” it has a scarcely less interesting history. It was old to Mr E. P. Redford for 900 guineas. In painting it in 1778 Gainsborough, to please Lady Betty, blended his usual manner with the style of Reynolds, as the future Duchess jokingly 'told him he made his subjects “too pretty.! The Duchess gave the portrait to a Mr Foster, will', instructions that he was not to part with it during his lifetime. Mr Foster left for Australia in 1850. and some, years after his death Mr John Foster, hrs spn, brought it to England. For convenience in moving, it. was cut out from its frame and rolled up, and tjius it remained for many years. In ls£B Mr John Foster’’ returned tci” SydriS-y. and, having by this time some idea of the great value of the painting, he kept the canvas roll in a long box, labelled “Fishing rods.” Tn spite of these precautions, ‘the picture was stolen from Mr Foster’s sitting-room a? his Sydney residence, and was oiily recovered by great good fortune, as it had been deposited in a shipping office by the thief, who meditated bringing his booty to England. After the commotion caused by the theft of Messrs Agnew’s “Duchess,” Mr Foster brought tire picture to London, and in England it has since remained.

Among the witnesses heard by the 'Aliens Commissions now sitting in England, was Superintendent Gilmour, of ths Manchester ]>olicc, formerly sanitary inspector in that city. Here is a brief summary of his estimate of the Jews of Manchester:— An exceedingly dirty race of people, both in their habits and their surroundings; the women slovenly, the men listless and inveterate gamblers. They empty filthy refuse out of their windows into the streets and into their back gardens. Jewish bakehouses are dirty and insanitary, and Jewish confectioners use decayed eggs.

Mr Laurenee Irving, the youngest son of Sir Henry Irving, has just been married to Miss Mabel Hackney, a talented young actress in Sir Henry’s company. Miss Hackney is a elever, intelligent and channing brunette, with a wealth of dark hair. She is not more than twenty-three years of age, and has not been on the stage more than five or six years, being first of all a member of Mr Benson’s company. Thereafter she played in the prologue of “The Prisoner of Zenda,” with Mr George Alexander, latter she joined Sir Henry Irving’s company, and travelled through America with Mr Laurence Irving. In Sir Henry’s last provincial tour Miss Hackney took Miss Terry’s part as Portia in “The Merchant of Venice.” At the present time Miss Hackney is a member of Sir Henry Irving’s company in the performance of “Dante” at Drury Lane—Mr Laurenee Irving being the translator of M. Sardoti’s play.

“It’s no use,” said the man with the sad eye; “I’ve had to give up gardening! I thought it would be delightful to have a window-box and watch the seeds springing into life and beauty, so I made one with a packing-case and some Virginian cork. Then I put some seeds in and watered them carefully; but it was no use. I had to give it up.” “Why?” said the sympathetic friend. “Did nothing shoot up?” “Yes,” said the sad one, “that was just it. Something did come up, and pretty quick,too. It was the man downstairs, who happened to be looking out of window when I was watering the seeds. He shot up sharp, and—and—well, he’s a Sandew student, and he uprooted the flower-box and assaulted me with it. Yes. much as I love nature, I have had to give up gardening!”

Ireland, or a portion of it, still believes that the earth is flat, and in .lie press of that country, a fierce controversy is raging on the subject. Inßelfast the flat-earthians are painfully numerous. They declare the north to be the centre of the plane, and the ice barrier of the south, they say, marks the boundary line of light and darkness. Water always keeps its level, they contend; and that “proves the earth is flat.” “A mariner’s compass will onlv work upon a dead level, and how could such conditions be maintained on a revolving globe?” How, indeed! “M hen a ship has disappeared from .the unaided vision, a good telescope will restore it to view”—and “telescopes, ’’ it is pointed out with decisive finalitv, “do not penetrate a’Tffll of water.” ‘ ’ “The apparently circular horizon .merely indicates that.the range of the eye is the same in all directions.” Finally, it is declared that “Circumnavigation does not prove globularitv. Sailing round Ireland would not prove the rotundity of Ireland, and it is utterly impossible for water in its natural condition to assume a spherical shape or adhere to the surface of a rotary earth.” ‘

A native traveller in Japan bought two snapping turtles, and being afraid that he would be charged heavily for their transportation as live animals on the train, he placed them in a small portable «sv nk wllic ! l .. he carried. The Japan ’’eekly Mail tells of an adventure thut befell the man and his turtles. Wh en he got on the train he held the trunk so carefully under his arm that a thief who was in the crowd was sure the man had something valuable in the box. • o he got into the same car and took an adjoining seat. Takiiig’the first opportunity, he cut a small hole.in the trunk J rit “ a sharp knife and slipped in bis hand. ■• a - \

About this time the turtles concluded that there was “something doing,” and they took hold of his fingers in a hearty way. Gritting his teeth, the thief tried to withdraw his hand, but he coil Id not. Then he howled, and the owner of the trunk seized him and turned him over to the train people, who at the next station gave him to a policeman. The incident, however, was not closed until the traveller was punished for violation of the railway regulations.

To have reached the proverbial age of three score and ten years, with muscles like whips of elastic steel, with a skin as smooth and ruddy brown from exposure to sun and wind as the waist and arms of a young ’varsity oarsman, and with an endurance at feats of strength that is accredited only to men less than 3(1 years of age, is the remarkable record of Dr. William E. Croekgtt, of 435, Shawmut Avenue (says the Chicago “Tribune”). That Dr. Crockett is a phenomenally’ strong man at the age of seventy y ears was attested when, in the presence of a reporter, he lifted a thirty-pound dumbbell from the floor and raised it the full arm’s length above his head three hundred times in twenty-two minutes. This was done witheut bending the body in pushing up the weight and with an ease that may well banish any doubts as to the athlete’s ability to raise the weight 508 times, which feat lie accomplished a few days previous to his 70th birthday, which occurred April 15. Here are his maxims: — “Never took a drink of spirituous liquors.” “Never smoked or chewed tobacco.” “Take dumbbell exercise every morning.” “Walk five or ten miles a day. "Bathe in salt water 365 times a year. “Pass at least five hours daily in the open air. “Breathe deep breaths.” ' Mrs Langtry lias succumbed to the importunities of the interviewer, and has given the following simple rules as forming the secret of her perpetual youth: Ease of body. ;; Kase of mind. Ease of conscience. Eight hours of sleep every night. Water, never, except in aerated form. Light breakfast, consisting of fresh fruit, such as pineapple, oranges, baked apples, grapes. Tea: bread only in toasted form. Heaviest meal of the day at five n'cldck in the afternoon. This meal should consist of either broiled chicken, thick broiled beefsteak, juiey roast beef, Southdown mutton, very little cotfee, very little butter, and some light burgundy. usually diluted with carbonated water: no pastry. Very light supper after the performance at night, and immediately afterwards to bed. Three or four baths a day. A walk in the open air every day, no matter what the weather is, lasting from thirty’ minutes to an hour. Three or four months’ complete rest every summer. No cosmetics except on the stage; No bother with anything which other persons can be hired to do.

When a submarine torpedo-boat is about to deliver her attack she must rise close enough to the surface of the sea in which she is submerged to make a fresh observation. Bearings are obtained by lifting out of water the upper end of a tubular device called a periscope. The experiment would probably be tried when the submarine was so near to her foe that detection of the former by the latter might prove a serious matter. A few well-directed shots from a small-calibre rapid-fire gun of the threatened battleship would disable, if they did not sink, its tiny assailant. Lookouts on big warships have, therefore. been trained to wateh for anything which resembles the tip of a periscope during naval manoeuvres, and to report their discoveries promptly. At least, such is the practice in the French Navy, which includes a considerable number of submarines, and which has given them many public trials. It has recently’ been noticed that the end of a periscope looks like the top of a champagne bottle. Accordingly, by weighting a number of such bottles so they will float with just the right amount of neck out ri water, it is often possible to fool the

most vigilant observer. The crews of the French submarines have already derived much fun from the trick, ami they hope to profit by it in time of war. It by such means the enemy van lie induced to misdirect his fire there would be a better vhanee of a successful attack upon him with a torpedo.

Sir ’ Thomas Lipton’s interest in aquatic racing has taken a new turn. His latest sensation is to offer a prize of .£4OOO for an old fashioned steamboat race on the Mississippi River. The simple love of sport is his sole object in oftering the prize. He expects, it is said, to announce his plan in a few days. The race will probably be from New Orleans to St. Louis. Mark Twain has offered the following suggestions for the forthcoming contest: “I think that the race should be a genuine reproduction of the old-time race, and that it should cover the whole course. 1 think they should have ample forecastle crowds of negro chantey-singers. I should reinstate the torch-basket and use the electric light for business only. 1 would extinguish the Government lights in every crossing throughout the course, for where the boats are equally matched in matters of speed and draught it is the quality of the pilotage which decides the contest. Nothing could add to this programme except an old-time blow-up as the boats finish in the home stretch. But this should not be arranged; it is better left to Providence and prayer.” The following description of steamboat racing days is from Mark Twain’s "Life on the Mississippi”: “In the flush time of steamboating a race between two notoriously fleet steamers was an event of vast importance. The date for it was set several weeks in advance, and from that time forward the whole Mississippi Valley was in a state of consuming excitement. Politics and the weather were dropped, and people talked only’ of the coming race. As the time approached the steamers ‘stripped’ and got ready. Every encumbrance that added weight, or exposed a resisting surface to wind or water, was removed, if the boat could possibly do without it. Hardly- any passengers were taken, because they not only added weight, but they- never will ‘trim’ boat. They always run to the side when there is anything to see. whereas a conscientious and experienced steamboat man would stick io the centre of the boat, and part his hair in the middle with a spirit level. If the boat was known to make her best speed when diawing five and a half feet forward and five feet aft, she carefully loaded to that exaet figure—she wouldn’t enter a dose of homoeopathic pills on her manifest after that. The chosen date being come and all things in readiness, the two great steamers back into the stream and lie there, jockeying a moment, apparently watching each other’s slightest movements, like sentient creatures; flags drooping, the pent steam shrieking through safety valves, the black smoke rolling and tumbling from the chimneys and darkening all the air. People, people everywhere; the shores, the housetops, the steamboats, the ships are packed with them, and you know that the borders of the broad Mississippi are going to be fringed with humanity’ thence northward twelve hundred miles to wel-

come these racers. Presently tall columns of steam burst from the scalepipes of both steamers, two guns boom a good-bye, two red-shirted heroes, mounted on the eiqtstans. wave their small flags above the massed crews on the foiecastles, two plaintive solos linger on the air a few waiting seconds, two mighty choruses burst forth—and here they come! Brass bands bray ’Hail Coumbia!’ Huzza after huzza thunders from the shores, and the stately creatures go whistling by like the wind.”

Hie hairpin is a nickname commonly bestowed by Tommy upon any thin, longlegged officer who may be put in authority over him. There is a "hairpin” and an ’’old drat" in most regiments; the former is always a commissioned officer, ana the latter a non-com. Every str-geant-major is known by some nickname or other, such as “fat language.” who is generally a robust swearer, “puffy,” who is stout and short of leg, "purple chops,” who is ruddy-couiplexioned; they are however, never addressed bv their' nicknames. "Turn up my dog’s biscuit, squat on the eharpoy. an’ give us a culler. Hookey, but no breezin’ or chancin’,” is another sentence which might excusably mystify a civilian. But it’s simple enough when translated. A soldier’s "dog’s biscuit” is his mattress, which is made in three square parts, each of which looks very like what Tommy calls it. “Charpoy” is a name for bedstead soldiers picked up in India. A “euffer” is a yarn of any sort, true or otherwise; "breezing” is bragging, ‘’chancing” is lying, and "rookey” is a name given to every recruit when he is not railed entity.’ Drink and drinking being subjects about which Tommy loves to talk, have a short vocabulary to themselves.’ Any alcoholic drink is a “throat-wash.” a lie-swiller, a “gargle,” or n “happy moment.” Strong drinks, such as spirits, particularly the vile, coarse liquor Tommy buys in foreign lands, are given significant names, such as “short-fuse,” fixed bayonets,” "razors,” and “tincture of lyddite.” Port is "fruity,” and sherry is known by the name of “fiery,” from which latter we gather that Tommy has been unfortunate in his experience of sherries. Water is referred to as “pawnee.” Whereas a "bung-sucker” is a moderate drinker, a teetotaller is said to have "put the peg in,” or to have “come off it. He who is obviously intoxicated "lias a steamer in him." or is “in the rats.” A larger eater is- a “scoffer.” The commanding officer of a regiment, whether he is popular or unpopular with his men, is always “the old man"-—that, is, when he is not “the old woman.” The adjutant who is not sufficiently out of the common to earn a name peculiar to himself, is generally “Juddy"; but if he be long-legged and thin he will be “the hairpin. ’ Fatness would earn him some sueh names as “Roily,” “Thick-end,” "Old Breathehard.” As to the other officers of the regiment, the men pick up and adopt the names the officers apply each other. The chaplain is generally the “sky-pilot.” as he is in the Navy; sometimes he is “the angel,” occasionally he is “mother.” Without the least intention of being irreverent. Tommy nearly always spoke of his beloved mistress

Queen Victoria as “the old lady,” and bo is falling fast into the habit of referring to King Edward as "Bless ’im,” or “My gracious.”

The Wellington Trades Council declaims against the letting of the locomotive contract to Messrs. Price Bros., of Thames, on the ground that the locomotives should have been manufactured by the Government itself, which, so the Council says, has the best plant for the puipose in the colony, while, furthermore, the Government is steadily reducing the number of the hands employed in the railway workshops, a batch of men having been put off at Petone recently. Vuy few people, however, take the Council seriously. Their professional knowledge on special subjects of this kind is indeed very limited.

Many old English families have mottoes formed by a sort of jeu d'esprit upon their names or titles (says "Men and Women”). For instance, Baron Monteagle has “Alta fert aquila” (The eagle bears me on high), whilst “Arme de foi hardi” (Armed with hardy faith) is appropriately used by the Gathorne Hardy family. The Marquess of Linlithgow (formerly Earl of Hopetouu), whose family name is Hope, is suitably served with “At spes non fracta” (But hope is not lost), thus patronymic and title are both included in the motto. The Duke of Devonshire uses “Cavendo tutus” (Secure by caution), punningly refeiTing to the family name of Cavendish. "Bonne et belle assez” (Good and handsome enough) seems as singularly apposite for those bearing the name of Belasis as “Corda serata pando” (I lay open locked hearts) does for others with the surname of Lockhart. Viscount Mountgarret made a happy hit with “Depressus extolier” (I am exalted by depression). Baron Fairfax has a motto at once concise and clever —“Fari fac” (Make him speak out). Since brevity is the soul of wit, he may be said to have hit the bull's-eye in this respect. The Earl of Onslow, with “Festina lente” (Hasten slowly), comes very- near as regards short and smart descriptive motto. The Earl of Fortescue has a punning motto in the words "Forte scutum salus ducem” (A strong shield is the safety of leaders). The Earl of . Westmorland, Anthony Fane, jests with his patronymic “Ne vile fano” (Nothing to disgrace the altar). William Nevill, Marquess of Abergavenny, did muqji the same with a similar motto, “Ne vile velis” (Form no vile wish). The Pauneefote family urge one another to “Pensez forte” (Think much), which is obviously a punning allusion to the name, though it takes some liberty with the pronunciation. Earl Temple of Stowe has a motto taken from Holy Writ, “Templa quam delecta” (How beloved are the temples), and familiar to most persons in the translation of the eighty-fourth psalm, “How amiable are Thy tabernacles.”

Monkeys are frequent visitors to the houses in Simla. They come in troops, scamper about over the tall trees, swinging themselves from branch to branch, and leaping about after the manner of their kind. The tree-tops about many of the bungalows are on a level with the balconies. They thus afford excellent cover for the monkevs, should it please th cm to enter and help themselves to food or anything else. An amusing story is told of Lady Barker's first dinner partv at Simla. Desirous of having a pretty table, Lady Barker had herself expended much care in decorating it. She had just received from Europe certain dainty china figures and ornamental dishes, and had arranged a tempting show of sweetmeats, flowers, and fruit. When dressing time came Lady Barker charged her servants to be on the watch and take care of everything; but something of interest occurred outside, and every servant left the room, quite forgetting to close an open window. Before this window was a big tree, on which sat several monkeys, which had watched the Separations for dinner much inrest. A half-hour later the hostess appeared, ready to receive her guests. Just to be sure that everything was right, she gave

a glance into the dining-room. There she beheld a busy company of monkeys hard at work, grinning and jabbering, their cheeks and arms crammed with expensive sweetmeats, while the table presented a scene of frightful devastation—broken glass and china, fair linen soiled, everything tossed about in hopeless confusion.

From this wreck she had to turn aside and welcome her guests with as much ease of manner as possible, and dinner had to be deferred until order could be restored. There were no decorations on the table that day, but when the circumstances became known, that dinner party was one of the most noted that Simla ever had.

Replying to a question put by me as to the form which legislation regarding the Bank of New Zealand will take, the Premier said he saw no reason to deviate from what he had already stated on this subject. The Government will be partners with the Bank of New Zealand, but to what extent, and what manner, has not yet been finally settled. Considering the different fashion which the sidering the different position which the colony came to its assistance some years ago, it is unreasonable to expect us to continue our connection without some consideration. The bank reaps the advantage of having the colony behind it, and for the shareholders to expect the colouy to be placed in a worse position than themselves would be probably doing an injury to their own interests. It would be unreasonable, on the other hand, to expect the colony to be drawing dividends on profits while the shareholders of the bank were limited to 5 per cent., but until the position of the Assets Realisation Board and the liabilities of the colony connected with it are in a satisfactory position, all parties should be treated the same. —Parliamentary reporter.

As it sometimes happens, the barber was disposed to talkativeness, the patient to silence. After several fruitless attempts to extract more than a grunt or two from the one in his care, the tonsorial artist made a final effort to arouse the man’s conversational powers, Patting the top of his head, he ventured the remark: “Der hair on der top, sir, it is a bit thinning out —ves.” “Yes.” “Of der tonie. den, a leetle —eh?” "No.” After another long pause: “Have it been bald long?” The man smiled wearily. Then, after taking a long breath of preparation for his effort, he replied: “I came into the world that way. Then I had an interval of comparative hirsute luxuriance, but it was not enduring. I have long since emerged from the grief of deprivation. It no longer afflicts me. Do not permit it to weigh upon you.” The German pondered over this for a while without, however, appearing to apprehend the meaning of the man’s words. “Der hair id look petter, sir, if berhaps you keeb id long in der back like,” he suggested, after another period of silence. The man removed his gaze from the floor, fastened it upon the ceiling, cleared his throat again, and spoke once more. “Let me assure you, my tonsorial friend,” said he, “that the appearance of my hair as I have been accustomed to dress it is very satisfactory to myself, and, perhaps I might also say, to my friends. What little hair still adorns my head I have possessed for a long time. I know it well. I have been on familiar terms with it for many years. I have inadvertently mingled treacle and home-made toffee with it in my years of extreme youth. I have often sundried it in order to present a proper non-guilty appearance at home after surreptitious swimming expeditions. I have had it pulled the wrong way by boys whom I learned to lick afterwards. At the same period of my life I even endured the ignominy of having it cut—in ascending tiers —by experimental maiden aunts. The consequence of all this is that that bit of remaining hair and I are old and, I trust, inseparable friends. I indulge the hair, and the hair indulges me. The hair indulges ma by permitting me to wear it after my own conception of the way it ought to be worn, and I indulge the hair by firmly,

declining to have it trifled with by gentlemen of the scissors who possess aitistic ideas more bizarre thau my own. Please indulge us both—-the hair and me. Cut it the way I directed you to cut it.” The barber collapsed.

Two of Auckland’s elect made their maiden speeches in the House on July 2 on the proposal to set up the Waste Land Committee. Mr. E. W. Alison took exception to the statement of the Premier that the Minister of Lands had a defined policy, which must be carried out. What was the object, Mr. Alison asked, of having a committee which must report in a certain way? Better for the Minister to settle matters immediately. without wasting the time of the committee. Mr. Harding, referring to the fact that the committee included five Canterbury members, pointed out that land settlement conditions were very different in the North to those obtaining in the South, and suggested that one of the North Auckland members should be included in the committee. Both members spoke well, and forcefully, without exhibiting the traces of nervousness usually evident in new members making their first speech before the most critical political audience in the colony (writes our Parliamentary correspondent) .

The bloodhound is a breed of dog becoming very popular among fanciers in England. Lately there have been some remarkable tests of the bloodhound’s capacity for tracking down men. The last trials which took place on Salisbury Plain were held last month. Placing a small white flag in the ground near a lonely copse to show his starting point, the hunted man was given an hour in which to attempt to make good his escape. He walked briskly through wood and field, along roads and moorland tracks, making here a sharp turn to fol-

low a hedgerow and there a dash across a piece of ploughed land. Finally, some tour miles from the point at which he set out, he walked into a farmyard and hid himself in an outhouse. At the white flag s fine pair of bloodhounds were now ready to be started on the seent. In spite of the fierceness which their bloodshot eyes and powerfully-proportioned limbs indicate, the hounds are as docile and friendly as the smallest fox-terrier. Every now and then they would show their immense strength by almost dragging over the keeper who held them in leash. The moment they were released they picked up the scent by sniffing at the white flag, and followed it at a run until the wood was reached. There they were checked, but, showing great perseverance, soon discovered the trail again. Betraying their satisfaction by a vigorous wagging of tails, they made off at a great pace. Though hot on the scent of their man there was not a suspicion of the baying notes which the bloodhound of story-books invariably gives forth. Silently and relentlessly they tracked down their prey. On they went over the moorland with only a moment’s diversion from the trail to sniff contemptuously at two innocent shepherds, until, with foam-flecked jowl and sweating flanks, tney had marked down their man. The hounds showed no desire to tear asunder their prey. They only pranced around him, giving expression to their pleasure by a more than usually vigorous wagging of tails. Many of the dogs trained by the Bloodhound Hunt Club are exported to America, where they are repeatedly used to discover fugitive criminals.