What to Do With Christmas Presents.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXX, Issue VII, 14 February 1903, Page 477

What to Do With Christmas Presents.

(By

Crusty Tom.)

A great hue and cry is always raised in the magazines and newspapers every Christmas about what to buy for Christmas presents, what present is most suitable for papa, mamma, Uncle John, Aunt Clara, little Bob, daughter Fanny, Uncle Bill, th j rest, and others, and also a large number of household hints on the

making of pretty presents at home. B''t there is a much graver problem about which the magazine household hiri'ers say absolutely nothing. That is the question as to what shall be dune with Christmas presents on the mor >ing after Christinas. I will now tender some suggestions that should be of great service to all the numerous recipients of Christmas presents. Papa’s smoking jacket—To papa, who does not smoke, and who has received a red, green and blue smoking jacket that is eighteen sizes too small, we should suggest that the smoking jacket have the sleeves cut off and be used as a house flag. Christmas slippers do not burn well in the grate, giving off too much smoke, but they are nice to throw at eats at night. Christmas neckties should never be wo, n by the recipient. They should all be expressed to some deaf, dumb and blind institute. There their loudness will disturb nobody, and their colours will not be painful to the eyes, and the helpless inmates cannot protest against them.

Christmas cigars should never he used until they are packed five weeks in chloride of lime, and then dried for four days in sulphur smoke. They can then be used with impunity, but it would be wise never to smoke them except in the open air, or, better still, in the mathematical centre of a forty-acre field. Christmas books made especially for the holiday trade should be sent by those who receive them, without delay, to Foozle McFoozelum, who will ship them to the natives of Jikalizzeleloo, on the Upper Nile. As these natives cannot read English, and will only use the books for gun wadding, it will be readily observed that the books cannot be put to a better purpose.