Here and There.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXX, Issue I, 3 January 1903, Page 13

Here and There.

A school magazine publishes the following list of “howlers.” In proof that they are good, witness the following: Demagogue—“ls a kind of school master." “Is a lower god.” Parasite —“The name of a religious body of people,” “A kind of umbrella. ' Saccharine —“A kind of oil which people put on their heads.” Cap-a-pie.—“ Means luflch," “The name of an Indian bird.” .» Conduit —“A leader or driver.” “A piece of pa]>er which lets you through the enemies’ lines.” Communist—“ One who Ims been continued.” Aborignes—“Treeless mountains in South America.” Singalese—"Bachelors.” The Sublime Porte—“ Very fine old port.” Monopoly—"A kind of champagne.”

A Westport man got a surprise a few days ago by being made the recipient of a sum of “conscience money.” He received a Tetter from a resident iu a distant part of the colony, enclosing a cheque for 24-. 'file writer stated that 24 years ago, when the Westport man was a hotelkeeper at Charleston, he (the writer) paid him a half-sovereign for two drinks and was handed 19/ in change. In the four great convict prisons of Dartmoor, Portland. Parkhurst and Borstai. young convicts are in future to be treated as a class apart, and ererv possible means will lie employed to keep them from associating with elder criminals. They will be officially known as "juevnile adults,” the term applying to these who at the time of conviction are twenty-one years of age or under. The scheme is already in force at Dartmoor, where schoolmasters are einpioyrd in teaching the youths. One offirial, an ex-army man, trains them in physical exercises, and they are instrii, rcd in earnentery to aid them in earning a living when liberated.

It is stated that the convicts appear well plca.-eu wit? the new’ treatment. Oakum picking Ly female prisoners in liiv ZStajesty's .j-ri.-r n-: has now practically cease:!. In its place needlework has lie, n a<i< pied, anti it will in future be ti e task of these womeit to make their own sn< meets i;.d also those ot the mule prisoners.

Extraordinary performances by some Wellington p'geuns were achieved the other day in a flight from Parengarenga (in the Far North) to Wellington. The Wellington Homing Society sent ten birds, which succeeded in covering the distance of 4<2 miles, air line measurement, to Wellington Under thirteen and a-half 1 ours, the first time such a distance has been covered in the time. The p -rformance is a record for New Zealand, if not for the Australasian colcnies. and is the more remarkable considering the head winds the birds had against them.

A curious story of a wealthy old recluse is .told by a correspondent in "Household Words.”

Not a hundred miles from London, and aliout five miles from a railway station, he says, stands a large house in belli:iful grounds. Two rooms only in this house are occupied—one by the owner, and the other by his servant. The staircase is never used, and communication between the two looms is by a hole in the floor and a rope ladder. The owner's meals, when cooked, are passed up through, this hole.

The chief peculiarity, however, of this eccentric being is that twice a week, late at night, he conies down his rope ladder dressed as a tramp. He then walks the five miles to the station referred to, where he nas a private room. Here he changes his clothes, emerges in full evening dress, and goes by the last train up to 1-ondon. It has been ascertained that he then takes a eab to one of the big clubs inthe neighbourhood of Pall Mall. What he does at rhe club is not known, but he returns by the first (newspaper) train in the morning, when he repairs to his room at the station, puts on the tramp's clothes again, and returns to

his house, w here he resumes his peculiar mode of life. He has never been known to speak to anyone in the village, and no one can give a reason for his quaint behaviour, but local gossip has it that he was jilted as a young man, and vowed that he would never again speak to a woman, nor. as far as he cvtiid avoid it. look .it one again. The editor of "Household Words” vouches for the veracity of his correspondent . Dean Grogan, of Napier, who has just returned from a visit to Great Britain, said the other day that be saw Ireland looking at its'best, and at the time of his visit the countrj was ready for the harvest. The potato crop was never better in Ireland than this year. The Dean, however, regretted that the population was dwindling to such an extent. In his boyhood Ireland had a population of eight millions: now it is but four and a-half. He could attribute this lo no other cause but to the miserable, unfortunate land laws of the country—to the power of the landlord.

On hearing his sentence at the Herts Quarter Sessions recently for being eoneeined with another man in November, 1900, in brutally assaulting a game-’ keeper, whom they left insensible on the ground, a poacher named John Brandon could not contain his delight. Mr. 1. F. Halsey. M.P. (deputy chairman) said there were thirty-three convictions against the prisoner, but this affair oeeusyed a long time ago. and the sentence would be one month's hard labour. On hearing the sentence the prisoner’s friends laughed loudly. One shouted Hooray I and another "One month!” Brandon, who had been out on bail awaiting his trial, joined in the laughter. and left the Court, singing "Goodbye, Dolly Grav.”

The “Taranaki Herald’s” Parihaka correspondent states that a large number of Maoris from all parts of the Nort.v Island are patiently waiting at Parihaka to hear Tohti’s promised wonderful tidings, but so far the spirit has not moved him much. On the 19th he gave a rambling discourse from the Script tires. He constantly referred to “Three Kings,” stating that two had arrived on the earth many years ago. and the third had just arrived. Some Maoris think he means the second coming of Christ, but the natives spend their time in feasting and dancing. The same correspondent refers also to the fact that while native tohungas are nominally prohibited from practising, nothing is done to prevent numbers of unqualified practitioners preying on the Maoris. Parihaka is now a happy hunting-ground for these quacks, and if a Maori dies under their hands nothing is heard about it. <ts the law does not make it necessary for death to be certified to by a qualified medical man.

Of late years the Queen of England has been so seldom seen on horseback that people have almost forgotten the equestrian feats of her younger days. But as a girl there was no more accomplished or fearless horsewoman in the kingdom, and neither wind nor rain would keep her away from the meets round Sandmgham. Her Majesty is not so devoted to fishing as her son or daughters, and she insists on always using artificial bait. Her rod is a very magnificent affair, inlaid with gold.

One of the most interesting recommendations of the Colonial Conference, the Blue-book in connection with which has ji>:-t been issued. Is the proposed early adoption of the metric system. School children and business men alike will join in the exclamation, “Oh, let It be soon!” for there can bt no doubt that the system of wrights and measures and coins now in use is terribly cumbersome. and can only be defended on the score of antiquity. But the ad-

option of the metric system would, of course, entail considerable trouble in mercantile circles and a good deal of expense in one way or another, and it is to he feared that the time when Multiplication is no vexation. And division won't lie bad. When Huie of Three's like A 8.C., And decimals make us glad. is still afar off. That the change to the inetrl? system would be beneficial can hardly be doubted. The system is merely a system of “tens” r.nd parts of “ten” when once a unit is fixed. Thus, having once fixer! on, say. the dram a the unit of weight, the avoirdupois table would run like this: — 10 drams make one ounce; 10 ounces make lib; 101 b make tqr.; lOqrs. make lewt; 10cw* make 1 ton. Of course tue nomenclature would be altered, as. for instance, in the case cf “10 quarters make a hundredweight.” which sounds and is absurd. At a glance the result by moving a decimal point is seen. Taking any figures as 645,902 drams, they mean 64590.2 ounces, 6459.021 b; 645.902 quarters, 64.5902 cwt, or 6.45902 tons. Or, in other figures, say. 583,204 drams is at glance resolved into 5 ton 8 Sewt 3qr 21b Ooz and 4 drams. Compound addition, subtraction, multiplication. division, and reduction are thus done away with. The other standards of length and capacity would be treated similarly. For the coinage, if the farthing were taken as the unit, we should have: — 10 farthings make one pennv; 10 pence make one shilling; 10 shillings make one half sovereign; 10 half sovereigns make one fiver; or whatever names might be given to the standard co-ns ropresentin ▼ respectively 10 farthings, 100 farthings, 1000 farthings, and 10.000 farthings.

The Kaiser’s cigars are about half as large again as those smoked by ordinary mortaL. They come from Havana, being made there specially for the Emperor. Each bears a "Havana ring." ornamented with the Emperor’s portrait. He pays from 1/3 to 1/6 apiece for them.' Similar cigars could not be purchased for less than 5/ each in Germany, where tobacco in all forms is cheap. a penny, for instance, being the price of a very smokable weed The Emperor’s cigarettes are but 6in. long, a third being taken up by the mouth-tube. and somewh it thicker than the ordinary run of cigarette. When out shooting His Majesty always prefers a pipe.

Mr F. Benwood, of Ki’iikihi. Waikato. has in his possession an enormous egg laid by a Minorca fowl, owned by Mr D. Meredith, coach proprietor. of that township. It measures 3lin in length and ~'.in in circumference. When thev started to blow it they discovered that enclosed in the big egg was another ordinarysized hen’s egg. Mr Henwood intends to forward it to Mr Cheeseman. of Auckland, ns a curiosity. The Minorca undoubtedly broke the record, but, sad to say. died in doing so.

Tin soldiers issue forth in vastarmies of every nation under the sun from the workshops of Nuremberg. Most of them come from Herr Rupprecht’s factory, a modern building of moderate proportions. situated at Forth, a small town outside Nuremberg. Herr Rupprecht employs 189 hands in making tin soldiers. 100 of whom work in their own homes. They are the painters who invest the troops with their uniforms of paint according to patterns supplied. This work is usually un lertaken by mothers whose families are too young to be left, by cripples and by others whose time is already partly occupied. From four to twenty shillings a week can be earned in this way. The fully-equipped soldiers (says the “Girls' Realm”) .are brought to the factory in Inrge oyen baskets, layer upon layer, between sheets of blot-ting-paper. The toy warriors are then counted, entered upon the regis-

ter, and passed into the packingin each of which some four or five girls, half-buried in fine paper shavings, lay them out in brightlycoloured boxes. These boxes then receive their distinctive labels and go forth into the world to charm and delight boys and girls of all nations. The actual making of soldiers takes place in a large workshop tilted with several small furnaces, round each of which sit three or four women. In the left hand they hold tightly clasped the two halves of the mould or matrix for three or five soldiers; dipping a long-handled spoon into the molten mixture of tin and lead, they pour it carefully through a narrow fiperture, shake oft the superfluous fluid, then, seizing a knife, open the matrix and dexterously extract the soldiers joined together by a trail. They toss these aside and start afresh. Ten thousand soldiers of all ranks, besides tents, rifles, guns, etc., are thus turned out day by day.

Ngauruhoe volcano, according to reports to hand from Taupo, has been showing signs of activity lately, emitting columns of brown-coloured smoke.

The gross proceeds of the Ellerslie Floral Fete were £6BO. It is expected that after the prize money has been deducted and all expenses paid, there will remain nearly £5OO.

Sir Charles Wyndham's first visit to America, where experiences were destined to show him so many phases of life, was made in the early sixties, mid after a family conclave in which it was decided that he should stop at home.

With less than ten pounds in his pocket and an unfortunate doom prophesied, he sailed for New York second-class with his own preconceived notions of Republican ideas and institutions, a deal of youthful enthusiasm, and one letter of introduction. Of these last he had refused many, for though they were regarded as a necessity in England he felt assured that they would be looked upon as superfluous in America. His intention was to get an appointment as an army surgeon.

Half an hour after landing he found himself at a recruiting office in Broadway. There by a misunderstanding that might have had anything but a humorous outcome, and through the pronunciation of the word sergeant as “surgent,” he came near signing in that capacity instead of as surgeon. The next day lie left for Washington to further his purpose at medical headquarters. Those he approached saw no hope for him. His dollars dwindled with Ms chances. Finally he seated himself in the hotel reading-room with a medical book opened at a particularly striking illustration, and hoping to catch the attention of someone who would exercise influence for him.

One man alone was attracted by the glaring illustration and his studious absorption, and that after three days’ exercise of it. The stranger questioned him closely, showed genuine sympathy in the situation, and gave him a letter to General Ranks, whom he had vainly been trying to see. His new friend proved none other than T. I’. Barnum.

In twenty-four hours after the letter was presented he had his appointment as Surgeon in the United States Army from Surgeon-General Hammond. From that kindly deed of the great showman at a critical moment dated Sir Charles Wyndham's rise of fortune.

The “Dannevirke Advocate” says that Mr. W. L. Luxford has left Dannevirke for Taupo, where he will transact business on behalf of a Wellington syndicate, the members of which have secured 12,000 acres of good totara bush in that district for sawmilling purposes. This refers to the bush bMween Taupo and Atiamuri, in connection with which a steam trainway to the Auckland-Rotorua railway line is proposed.

A party o? Melbourne tourists are arranging a trip through New Zealand, in the course of which they intend to travel overland from New Plymouth to Auckland. The

party. who belong to the firm of Sargood, Son and Ewen, will probably leave New Plymouth about the Sth January, making Urenui that eveung. The next day Awakino will Be reached, and the following day the Mokau River will be ‘‘done.” Mahoenui will be the next stage, and "then on to Te Kuiti, where train will be taken to Auckland.

M. Paderewski is highly strung; he is tuned like a piano. Who, indeed, ever knew a musician who wasn't? It is part of their stock-in-trade. He appeared to have been very much annoyed with the good people of Manchester owing to their behaviour at his recital at the Free Trade Hall this week. Certain of the audience rose in the middle of his performance and casually wandered about the corridors, opening and shutting swing doors in a highly reprehensible manner. It was too much for M. Paderewski. He stopped the music, glared, ran his hands through his hair, and left the platform, not resuming the recital until the doors had been permanently closed. But- Manchester is not crushed.

It has been discovered that the strings of a double bass painted with nitric acid are almost as sensitive as M. Paderewski. A German scientist discovered that on playing a second double-bass with true Teutonic energy the strings of another so treated broke with a tremendous report. It is not stated what the German scientist hopes to prove by this discovery.

The explosion of fireworks which occurred in New York recently with its terrible consequences is (says an English paper) another illustration of the reckless disregard for human life which prevails throughout the United States. This is not the first time that dangerous fireworks have been let off in Madison Square, a piece of ground, planted with trees, about the size of Trafalgar Square.

The Brooklyn Trolley Car Company has killed over 500 persons, and each month adds to the list of victyns. Two years ago the company started paying an annual bonus to every motor-man who drives his electric car for twelve months without killing

The Metropolitan-street railways in New York City have also a long list of victims. On account of the number of fatalities the corner of Four-teenth-street and Union Square is known as “Dead Man’s Curve.”

The relatives of the persons killed by these huge monopolist companies have a very poor ehanee in the law courts. The companies offer £lOO cash to settle the case at once. If this is not accepted, and the widow or relatives go to law. the case is fought out from court to court, and lasts for years.

The same disregard for loss of life is shown by the railroad companies. Level crossings are in use all over the country, and the number of deaths each year is appalling. In one case near Niagara Falls the gatekeeper omitted to close the gates at a crossing. The consequence was that an express train struck a buggy, containing five persons, who were all killed. The gatekeeper was not even dismissed from his post. One of the most fatal crossings is at Twenty-eighth-street, just outside Pittsburg. Pennsylvania. Not a month goes by without an accident, as the men from the iron works use that crossing to go to their work.

What is cruelty to a wife? There is a lady in New York who is suing for a separation from her husband on tHb grounds of his inhumanity to her, and the judge has reserved his decision.

“Your Honor,” said the lady, “he said that I wasn't pretty, an* that my figure wasn’t plump enough." “That was impolite,” replied the judge, “but hardly cruelty.” “Oh, but he said that other girls were prettier, and he used to call me a ‘yellow thing,’ although I had washed my face with ammonia to clear my complexion.” “Anything else?" inquired Uie judge.

“Oh, yes," replied the unhappy wife; “he beat me if I wouldn't do what he told me.’*

“How often did he beat you?" “Well. I always did what he told me; but I am sure, judge, that he would have thrashed me awful if I hadn’t.”

Apparently the judge was shaken, but he is still considering whether he shall grant that separation.

In the sand at Stewart’s Gullv, near Christchurch, the other day, Mr. Sidney Neate stumbled across a wellpreserved skull, which is now at the Christchurch police station. It apparently belonged to some Maori, and appears to have been lying in the sand for a good many years. The colour is almost exactly that of a wellcooked tin-loaf, ;nd a lady at the police station, who was shown an inch or two of the scalp, and told that it was a tin-loaf, received a considerable fright vn unwrapping it further.

The henpecked husband is found in every clime. Even John Chinaman, with his thousands of years of civilised existence, has not discovered the secret of taming the mannish wife, as the following story from the Celestial Empire bears witness:—Ten hen« pecked husbands resolved to form a society to resist the tyranny of their wives. The ten wives heard of the plan, and while the meeting for organisation was in progress entered the room in a body. Nine of the rebellious husbands fled, but the tenth one retained his place, apparently unmoved by the unexpected visitation. The ten wives, after smiling contemptuously on the one man who remained, went back to their homes, well content with the success of their raid. The trine husbands thereuporf returned io their meeting, resolved to make the heroic tenth man the president of their society. When they entered the room, however, to inform him of the honour it was found that he was dead. He had died of fright.

An extremely severe hailstorm was experienced in the Kakahu district, inland from Timaru, the other day. A gentleman who was out driving states that there were apparently two lines of hail. The second w~s simply a fall of blocks of ice. To protect his horse he had to cover it with his rugs and buggy mat, while he used the buggy cushion to protect his own head, his hands suffering very severely from the force of the stones. The storm lasted from fifteen to twenty minutes, and during that time the buggy was filled to overflowing with hailstones.

The servant problem is different in Hungary from what it is here. Apparently servants are so plentiful that the prefleet of Jaszbereny, a Hungarian town, has dared to issue the following decree: — “In view of the fact that domestic servants are getting more and more in the habit of neglecting their work in order to atnnse themselves, I hereby give notice that any female domestic servant who is found out of doors, or even on the doorstep of the house in which she is employed, after 9 p.m. will be summarily arrested and punished by a fine of £1 13/4, or four days’ imprisonment.”

After remarking that all the four Maori M.H.R.’s just re-elected are Ministerial supporters, the Wellington “Times” says: “All over the country the position of the Maoris is practically the same—there is no distrust, no disputes as to surveys, but, on the contrary, the most perfect harmony. The Premier and the Hon. Mr. Carroll, Native Minister, are deserving of every credit for what they have done in bringing about this gratifying state of things. Never before did so many natives go to the poll, and the large vote was practically all cast for the Government.”

Police Constable George Mitchell, of the G Division of the Metropolitan Police, London, has written a small volume of verses which he has published under the title of “Ballads in Blue.”

The proceeds of the sale are to go to the Provincial Police Orphanage. Redhill. The constable recently sent a copy of his ballads t o the King, and has received a letter from His Majesty’s secretary saying that the King has been pleased to accept the volume.

The policeman-poet is now. it is understood, to be called upon to explain to his superiors why he ventured to send the King a copy of his little book without first obtaining the authority of the Chief Commissioner of the Metropolitan Police.

Sensational preachers among ns should take a leaf out of the book of a parson in lowa, who has just gone through an interesting experience. This lowa clergyman took the unusual step of playing tramp himself for a day rr two, and going the round or his congregation. History reeords that the only meal he got, intermixed with many threats and the slamming of many Pharisaic doors, was at a house where he was recognised. His charity sermon on the following Sunday was a caution.

The Union Steamship Company’s Steamer Moeraki last week made a record run from Wellington to Sydney in three days 10J hours, an average speed of 15J knots. Her best day’s run was 381 knots.

Mrs Robert Louis Stevenson is living in America. The widow of the famous litterateur has just built a beautiful country house, and has been giving a house-warming party to the prominent social and literary lights in San Francisco. The new house, which bears the Samoan name of Vanumanutangi—“Vale of the Singing Bird”—is situate in the Santa Cruz Mountains, near Gilroy, and is furnished and decorated throughout in a manner reminiscent Of the old home in Samoa.

How strange are ways of the Celestial! The royal road to official success in China is still inefficiency and stupidity. According to the “Sin Wen Pao,” a comedy in real life illustrative of this has just been played by the Empress Dowager, Chu Hung-chi, and the Public Censor.

' The latter reported to the Throne that Chu, an official of high standing, was ignorant of all foreign and diplomatic affairs, and quite unfit for office.

The Public Censor, in accordance with his duty, asked that Chu be dismissed.

Chu, satisfied with the justice of the charges, at once resigned. To the surprise of everybody, however, the Empress Dowager issued an Imperial decree declaring him a most exemplary servant. Chu was reinstated and promoted.

Mr James Mills, general manager of the Union Company, interviewed at Dunedin on his return from Australia regarding the Vancouver service, said the contract originally entered into for ten years between the Huddart-Parker Company and the Governments of Queensland, New South Wales and Canada in 1893 will expire in May next, and negotiations are now proceeding between the Pre-

mier of the Commonwealth and the Government of Canada for an extension of the contract. Negotiations hail been delayed till a rather late period awaiting the result of the Conference of Premiers in London, and of thier efforts to secure a highclass service of fast steamers to Australia to run in connection with the proposed fast Atlantic service between England and the eastern ports of Canada. Until something is done in this direction it will probably be necessary to extend the present contract for two or three years, with such improvement as is possible on so short a contract.

Mr Mills’ proposals to the Federal Government were in the direction of an extension of the existing arrangement for three years, with the Moana and the Aorangi, and a modern steamer to replace the Miowera. For this a moderate increase on the present subsidy was asked, and the matter is now under consideration by the various Governments. “The New Zealand Government,” continued Mr Mills, “is not taking any part in the present negotiations, hut the Premier has intimated that the Government is prepared to contribute towards a subsidy for an improved service with modern-class boats.”

A remarkable ease concluded in Dublin last month, after having been tried abortively no fewer than four times.in various courts.

The plaintiff, David O’Keefe, a shopkeeper at Tallow, County Waterford, sued ten local leaders of the United Irish League for £ 20,000 damages done to his business through being boycotted by the people, incited thereto by the defendants. O'Keefe’s offence was taking an evicted farm. He was thereafter, he alleged, boycotted with such rigour that the takings at his shop fell from £l4 a day to 4/, and the number of his boot? customers dwindled from 700 to four. No evidence was called for the defence, and the jury found for the plaintiff and assessed the damages at £5500.

A Dreadful Thing-thong—“Halloa, Jinks. Why. I haven’t seen you for several weeks. How’s your health?” “Poorly; every little tiling- -thong seems to affect me lately.” “Well, at any rate, you are looking like a ki ig-’.<>ng.” “Feeling that way. except for a slight touch of spring fever.” “Yes, spring-sprong always affects me. too; makes my head ringrong.” "What in thunder is the matter with you, old man—the way you've got to talking?” “Nothingthough.” said Jinks, making a swinging movement of his arm through empty air, as his friend backed away in amazement and alarm. “I hear that you have become a great devotee to the fashionable fad of table tennis.” “Yes,” he said wildly: "I like to have a fling-flong ami enjoy the banjo sing-song of the game of pingpong at every racquet's swing-swong. while the celluloid sphere is on tlie wing-wong—l know that game's the thing-thong—” Gently , the keepers from the asylum led him away to the padded cell, the first victim of the omnipresent game of ping-pong.

After the statement made at the recent annual meeting of the Aerated Dread Company situations as waitresses in London tea-rooms ought to be at a premium. For it appears that the attractive young ladies in white collars and cuffs who so deftly dispense afternoon tea are much sought after in marriage. The proprietors, far from discouraging inis state of things, would seem to regard with approving eye the exchange of “sweet nothings” over the tea cups between customer and sei ver. On an average the company have each week to fill the places of four of their ■most charming waitresses. whose mild flirtations, commenced amid the clatter of crockery, eventually lead them to the altar. It is the custom of the directors t > make each bride a small present in addition to a wedding-cake, and for some time past there has, it appears, been a continuous run on these bridal confections.

The chairman of the company, in making this interesting announce-

ment, lather ungall.-.ntly a.i -id ilia* lie w.is not sure whether th superior qua’.ty of the wedding cakes or tie virtues of the girls themselves formed the eliief attraction. And this in face cf his admission that t’ e year's net profits, to which, according to his own showing, the young ladies’ fascinations must have’largely contributed. amounted to over £ 72.CU0. There are nearly 100 A.B.C. depots spread all over the metropolis, and upwards of 1000 waitresses are employed. They are paid 10/ weekly, and 1 <’• of this sum is deducted for food eaten while on duty.

In American prisons the newspaper is a regular institution. Here are a few extracts from the “Prison Mirror,” the weekly journal of the Minnesota State Gaol: — “Eight arrivals, two regular discharges, seven released on parole, and two discharged by the Board of Control. marks the record of the movement of population for the past week. “Engineer Jones is having a steamplate warmer constructed for the din-ing-room. Hereafter the plates will be heated before meals are served, so that the men getting in toward the last may have hot. food. “Through the kindness of the Dalrymple Comedy Company the inmate: of the prison were regaled with a four-act play, staged and costumed, on Wednesday afternoon, October 1. For the time being the chapel was transformed into a theatre.”