AS SEEN THROUGH WOMAN’S EYES.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXIX, Issue XXV, 20 December 1902, Page 1594

AS SEEN THROUGH WOMAN’S EYES.

Good Manners. if y<»u do a round of shopping in a >1 range place, after leaving’ one shop \on vow never to enter it again. After leaving another you register an equally strong vow to go to that 'hop regularly. V hat has influenced you in the making of these vows? Very probably merely the manners of the girl who served you. Good shops are so much alike now that manners often turn the scale. An obliging assistant, who goes to great trouble to try and get vou exactly what you want, draw’s you back to the shop in which she is serving. The impudent, befrizzled young woman who . assumes an air of supreme condescension in attending on you at all, and does not put herself out in the least to meet your requirements, drives you away from i he shop she is employed in. This simple example, which probably the experience of all of us could furnish, is one that shows the practical commercial value of good manIt is the same with a boy applying for a situation in an office, a girl applying for a governess’ post. Bright and charming manners are in themselves a recommendation. It we want a favour granted whom do we send to ask it? We do not 'end the morally best person we can find, but the person with the most w inning manners. All this being so. and the value of good manners being granted, is it not worth the trouble and time (for it will involve both) of every parent to train their children so as to acquire so useful a gift? How is it to be done? First by example. You must be charming and gracious to your children if you want them to possess these qualities. You must not indulge in snapping and irritable scolding. Treat them graciously and they will grow up gracious men and women. Training without example is useless. out training is necessary as well as example. ( heck any want of civility or politeness whenever displayed, teach your children a respectful and reverential manner towards their elders and superiors, teach them to acknowledge graciously every gift or privilege bestowed on them. Let your efforts be unwearied and you will reap your reward in a family of children whose charm of manner enhances the natural charm that youth in itself will give. o o o o o The Mystical Power of Precious Stones. Ancient, mediaeval, and modern literature contain numerous alii s on to the popular belief t.iat precious stones are gifted with supernatural powers anil exert some inexplicable influence on the fate of individuals and peoples. Consequently, a few remarks on thesubj.ct will render such references more intelligible. Precious stones have been used as talismans by people of all nations, commencing in the east and then extending westward over the European Continent. with the result that in the Middle Ages this belief in the supernatural power of gems became uni versa 1. and traces of it are yet to be found amongst certain communities. The < cult |>ovver of the so-called diamond ball of Dr. Dee were generally accredited, and caused the popular be lief to gain ground. 'This ball, made of rock crystal, is now in the British Museum. The cu leiform i i-cri ti n of Assyria refer to seven black stones personifying the same number of planets which were adored in the principal temples. The fatnoii' ila *k 'tone of the Kaaba. a shrine in th* Mosque of Mwca, was said to be one of the precious stones which fell to the earth at the creation of Adam; it was afterwards lost and restored In the \ngel Gabriel. \ccording to mor** |M>pular opinion, it was one of ydam’s guardian angels change I into •done and expelled with him for lack of vigilance. At the resurrection the angel will recover his form and ap-

pear as a witness before God in favour of all faithful Moslems who have made a pilgrimage to Mecca. Originally it was a jacinth of dazzling whiteness. but has grown black by contact with the lips of the pilgrims. In the south-east corner of the second shrine there is another holy stone which pilgrims may touch but not

kiss. The serpent has from time immemorial been invested with mysterious powers, possibly on account of the gems supposed to be concealed in its head. Some were said to have actnth eyes, others emerald collars; Milton’s serpent had carbuncle eyes. The toad, according to Shakspere. “wears a precious jewel in his head.*’ and we

have a toadstone regarded as an antidote for poison. The Bezon or Beza stone was obtained from a wild animal of Arabia, and employed as a charm against plague and poison. Two infallible tests are given for this stone. When placed in the mouth it will give a leap and adhere to the palate; or when placed in a glass of water will make the lio ; d boil. Amongst the jewels of James L was a large Beza stone set in gold, which had belonged to Queen Elizabeth. According to tradition. precious stones were obtained from the vulture. eagle, swallow, raven, tortoise, hyena, ..tork, and even the eat. A Peruvian animal called the Carbuneiilo the s ze of a fox, is invisible in day time, and a* night emits a brilliant light ftom n precious jewel in its forehead. The most remarkable stone mentioned in history was in the shape of a helmet found in the River Eurotas. At sound of the Spartan trumpet it leaped on to the bank, and at that of the Athenians back into the water. The Lapis Assius of the Greeks employed for sarcophagi absorbed a deceased bod. in 40 days, and Beothius mentions a stone which would consume the flesh of living persons. Some precious stones were heralds of evil—as the onyx when worn alone, but together with the sard it lost this baneful quality. Opinion in the unluekiness of the opal became very popular after publication of “Anne of Gierstein." The beryl was said to reveal secrets past and future. Engraved gems cured diseases and drove away evil spirits. The virtues of the agate in this respect were generally recognised in the Middle Ages. An agate was said to be kept in the old church of St. Paul. London, to cure disorders of the eyes. The serpent was supposed to be blinded at sight of an emerald. In “Lalla Rookh” are the lines — “Blinded like serpent win u they gaze “Upon rhe emerald’s virgin blaze." The Shah of Persia was said to have a diamond which made him invincible, and another which compelled conspirators to confess. King Solomon had a ruby which gave him power over demons and genii, and revealed to him all he desired to know in heaven and earth. Tn ancient times precious stones were said to be animated, breathe, and increase or decrease their size at will. Tn “Paradise Lost” we are informed of the value of the diamond in defensive armour. Chaucer alludes to the power of gems in the “Romance of the Rose.” The San Graal was a cup made of a single stone, said to be an emerald detached from the crown of Satan when he fell from heaven. It is said to have figured at the Last Supper, and to have received the blood of Christ dying on the Cross. Marriage in Russia. When the parents of a young- Russian decide that a certain young damsel would make him a suitable wife, they keep their own counsel, and one evening call unexpectedly at her home and stay for supper. During the meal they watch her iyif she eats fast she will work quickly; if she goes neatly and cleanly about her plate she will be a cleanly, tidy housewife; if she talks little she will be obedient and dutiful to her husband; if she prefers rye bread to white, she will be satisfied with her lot; if she does not gaze and stare sbe may be trusted not to pry into her husband’s business; and if she proceeds to clear away and wash up after the meal she will be thrifty and careful with his money.

A curious part of the marriage ceremony is that when the bride and bridegroom enter the church they beth make a dash for the platform on which stands the pulpit. The idea is thal the one whose foot touches it first will outlive the other, and that the children will take after that one in stature, health and beauty.

Simple Bookbinding. A great many people like to collect press cuttings, recipes, and odds and ends of interesting items, and, as a copy-book is the usual receptacle for them, it is obvious that the outside is not very durable; so, remembering the enormous number of cheap paper-covered reprints of novels that are now issued, guide books, cookery books and music albums coming under the same category, I think a few hints on simple home book-bind-ing may prove useful. Take your book, which we will imagine is an exercise book of ordinary size, and paste down the back of it over the cover a stout strip of unbleached calico or holland. When quite dry open it at the centre page and make three holes through the middle of the leaves and the calico — one in the middle, the other two about one and a-half inches on

either side, and stitch through these holes with fine twine, fastening it securely on the outside. If the exercise book is intended for extracts, do this before pasting them in. as it holds the book strongly together for you to work on it.

Now take another strip of calico five inches wide and an inch shorter than the book at each end. Fold this strip evenly over the back and sew it firmly to the calico already there; this leaves two loose flaps of calico on each side of the volume, the use of which I shall presently explain.

The cover of the book must now be cut;, stout millboard is best to use. but you can also utilise old blotting' pads. Cut the cover so that it project a little over the edges of the book, but remember to let it lie evenly at the back; be careful to have straight edges, and rule a line down the millboard at the point where the ealico ends when laid flat on the book.

Now make some strong glue, using vinegar instead of water to dissolve it; glue the calico flaps, also the millboard up to the marked line, and lay the one upon the other, and when both sides are completed, place it under a heavy weight, or, better still, if available, into a linen press.

When the book has been left a sufficient time the baek can be worked

on, and this may be leather, kid, or morocco, cut to exactly the length of the book, leaving an inch or more on each side, to enable it to wrap over well. Make a line where the leather ends on the millboard, and on the leather where the millboard first touches it, brush these spaces with glue, and press them together. Re very careful to glue only to the ruled line, because when the book is finished you ought to be able to look through it from end to end. Weights ar.d Measures One teaspoonful equals one dram. One dessertspoonful equals two spoonfuls, or two drams. One tablespoonful equals two dessertspoonfuls, or four spoonfuls. Two tablespoonfuls equal eight teaspoonfuls or one ounce. One common size wineglassful equals two ounces or one half gill. A teacup is estimated to hold four fluid ounces or one gill. Ten ordinary sized eggs weigh one pound. Soft butter the size of an egg weighs one ounce. One quart of sifted flour, well heaped, weighs one pound. One pint of best brown sugar weighs thirteen ounces. Two teacupfuls, level, of granulated sugar weigh one pound. One and a third pints of powdered sugar weigh one pound. Two tablespoonfuls of powdered sugar or flour weigh one ounce. One tablespoonfitl. well rounded, of soft butter weighs one ounce. One pint, heaped, of granulated sugar weighs fourteen ounces. Two and a half teacupfuls, level, of the best brown sugar weigh one pound. Two and three-fourths teacupfuls, level, of powdered sugar weigh one pound. Miss Parloa says one generous pint of liquid, or one pint of finely chopped meat, packed solidly, weighs one pound. Liquid Measure.—Four ounces equal one gill, four gills equal one pint, two pints equal one quart, four quarts equal one gallon. Japan’s New Woman. Japan is slowly but surely being penetrated by the "new woman" movement. The dainty little brown women who have always been likened to butterflies have become eonseiouthat a useful and helpful life is more to be desired than an ornamental one. and they are going in for progress heart and soul. One of their “new women’’ movements, called the Japan Society for the Culture of Women, already has a membership of 10.000 women in towns and villages throughout the country. The Empress of Japan, who started

ihe women's club, is flattered when friends from the West tell her that she is in almost every respect a veritable European. It is her one desire to be thcus-ht so.

Conversation as an Art. It is astonishing, if one comes to think of it, how few really good conversationalists one meets with. Many people can talk, but utterly fail to bring out the eloquence of others. The really brilliant man or woman is the one who draws out what is best in his hearers, and brightens them by his own wit and ready sympathy. Never try and be witty; wit is a gift, not an art to be acquired, but if you possess the gift, be careful never to exercise it at the expense of another’s feelings. Observe the expression of those around you. and learn to guide your conversation into those paths which will not bring a look of either

disgust, boredom or anger into their faces.

The best talker is generally the best listener, for only in proportion as one takes in from many sources can one hope to let out from one's ow n individual spring. Most people have some hobby; if you are suddenly brought into contact with a stranger, try and discover what his particular hobby is, and then direct your conversation into that channel.

Above all. do not talk whilst other people are talking. Striving to make yourself heard by yelling across people is bad form, and also most tiresome to everyone present.

Old Bridal Customs. There used to be a custom of strewing Howers before the bridal couples as thex went to the church and from the church to the house. Suppose the way with fragrant kerb-* were strewing, All things were ready, we t«» char.-h w< . going. And now suppost- the priest had joined our hands, is a quaint old verse that refers t<this custom. The Persians introduce a tree at their marriage feasts laden with fruit, and it is the place of the guests to try to pluck this without tin* bridegroom observing. If successful they must present the bridal couple with a gift a hundred times the value of the object removed. In Tuscany brides wear jasmine wreaths, and there is a legem! that a once reigning Grant! Duke, who at great expense procured this Howei for his own particular garden, gave orders to his gardener not to pari with any Howers or clippings; but the gardener, who was in love, took a sprig to his sweetheart as a gift. She. being shrewd, plan: cd it and raised from it several small plants which she sold to the Duke’s envious neighbours at a great price. In a short time she had saved suflieienl money to enable her lover and herself to marry and start housekeeping, ami so the Tuscans have a saying that “the girl worthy of wearing the jasmine wreath is rich enough to make her husband happy.”

How Boer Women Dress. We have all of us h.-ard that dress dues not hold a very important place in the eyes of either .Boer men or women, though more has been sa d about the former than the latter. I‘eraaps 1 ought to say that dress is considered to some extent, but not in the same way as in England, wh »re papers are not so few and far between in which what is worn is generally discussed.

Boer women pass their lives in much greater isolation than the majority of English women, and only emerge from their obscurity when there is a wedding in the district, «>T the periodical prayer-meeting (naachtmaal) is in progress. These last are held every three months in the villages and towns, and are great occasions for meetings in the district, as every body attends them. At these meetings all the girls and women appear in gorgeous an I wonderful raiment, as. though a Boer woman always wears black ,*.t home, she loves gaudy and brilliant calour.-, and as she is terribly wanting in taste the most awful combinationare sometimes seen. A week before such an event ail the trading emporiums in the district are hunted through for novelties and the latest fashions, though there is very lit; le choice at these stores. One of the curi n:s customs mong the Boer girls at these ‘n lacht r.iaals’* is to exchange clothing with each other, so th.it each will haxe a different dress f<»r the next occasion. As they do not trouble in the least about the fit. it works out all right, according to their own ideas, hut outsiders see very funny results. The writer from whom I have these n tes says that he was once staying at a Boer dwelling when the prayer meeting was in progress.

Among his possessions was au old jockey s jacket, which, as is usual, was of vivid colouring. You may imagine his surprise when th-* next day the family started for the village to see one of the daughters in this jacket, which she had fashioned into a very rough semblance of a blouse. Brown l oots are the correct thng to wear at these meetings, and as they usually wear “veldt sehoens, ’ ot woollen slippers, the change to new leather boots is rather painful. It is a very common sight to see a Boer girl limping about in shoes al least three sizes too small, and her feet suffer, if her vanity is appeased. But this, after all, is a weakness to which not only Boer women but others are often addicted, but one thing the former do not trouble about is waists; these are usually large, and in fact the great majority have somewhat the appearance of a sack tied round the part where the waist should be. Beautiful Old Age. Why should old age be so dreaded? One would think, by the way some people trick themselves ent, and try to avoid showing the marks of time, that old age was a crime. Yet old age may be one of the most beautiful times of life. Over and over again I have heard it remarked how good-looking Mrs So-and-so has become, and that her white hair has softened her face and given her a beauty she never had before. That her wrinkles, too, seem to add to her charm, for they are amiable wrinkles, and seem to be a sort cf reflection of bygone smiles and kindiv, gen* le impulses an] Old age is really never hideous tin-

less it be vicious; so why so many people should desire to hide it is a mystery to me. Every right-think-ing person respects old age, and ..ees nothing repulsive or ludicrous in it unless it masquerades as youth.

If we will only take our grey hairs and wrinkles kindly, they will deal kindly with us, but we may rest assured that we shall get no good by trying to hide them by artificial means. Soft laces and suitable dress may add much to elderly charms, but jaunty, would-be-young old ladies are a spectacle sad enough to mane angels weep. o o o o o A Popular Self-Seeker. “If you are perfectly selfish, and perfectly good-natured, you can get all you want in this world,” some one remarked, and the assertion is, on the whole, true. That is to say, good-natured insistence goes a long way, and when selfishness is added they undoubtedly make a strong team. *T know a man,” the speaker continued, "who is universally liked. He is immensely popular, and has more invitations to desirable houses than he can accept, and when there he always gets the best. The best horse is always given him to ride; he manages to have the most desirable seat at dinner. If he keeps people waiting he is never blamed, and so it goes on about everything. But what people do not seem to realise is that he is intensely selfish, and is always looking out for number one; but he does it in such a charming way, and has such a delightful smile, that he is considered one of the best natured people in the world (which he possibly is), and his selfseeking is never detected.”

Bridle Your Tongue It is a pity that girls who are disposed to be witty at the expense of others <lo not know how unattractive they make themselves, and bow often they offend against goo.l

taste. A smart girl sometimes says unkind and untrue things about het comrades, and thinks it all right when those to whom she says them laugh at them. Do not be deceived, girls. Two or three sharp and uncharitable speeches may warn your best conquests off the premises of your heart, though that heart maybe kind, and true, and loyal, and, put upon its mettle. woul<J disown the acrid utterances of that thoughtless little, tongue of yours. Cutting speeches do not pay in the end. They cause a laugh, perhaps, but leave a ■bitter memory, and they are not always true. Do not 'be funny at the expense of truth, of charity, of good breeding.

Training Baby to Obey. What seems like the very complex problem of training a child in the way he should go reduces itself, after reflection and experience on the part of the mother, to one simple preposition—that of teaching him perfect, absolute, unquestioning obe<Bence. If baby learns that thoroughly and learns it as soon as his faculties develop, certainly by the time he is a year old. and oftener much earlier than this, all the virtues will grow out of it. given favourable environment. Let him understand right from tihe beginning that it is not his way, but mother's, that must be followed, and he will have infinitely more respect and love for his parents as he develops. It is the wayward. self-willed, disobedient child that neither loves nor respects his mother. I know a boy of only four who already undertakes to manage his mother, and does it rather successfully, too.

It is amusing, to be sure, but deplorable. from another standpoint, to hear him expostulate with her. Let her he engaged in conversation with a caller and he. who wishes to be noticed, will come up with the greatest sang froid. take his mother familiarly by the chin, shake his finger at her and lisp out. imperatively. “Now. don't talk so much.” then proceed to monopolise the chit-chat. But the training must not consist in scolding or words. It must all be in quiet action. Nothing is more irritating to a child than to hear the eternal “Don't!” dropping from a mother's or nurse’s lips. Rather give him the order to do the opposite than to bid him not do a certain thing. Tell him. “Stay on the path!” instead of “Don’t go on the grass!” The very prohibition makes him wilful, and he eyes the grass with longing ever after, whereas if the advantages of the walk, as they might exist at the moment, were pointed out to him and the grass completely ignored, he might be found more tractable.

There is one simple word, however, which baby quickly learns, and which it is necessary to teach him as soon as possible. For he understands but little of one's vocabulary at the age of six months, or whenever he starts in to play, and it is then that the mother must carefully watch him. It is then that he first becomes a nuisance by dropping his toy on the floor, looking inquiringly at you until you pick it up and give it back to him. whereupon he proceeds to drop it again with a laugh of delight, and expects you to go on with your part of the operation. You think this is so cunning at the start, so knowing of him. and you spend a couple of hours a day picking up things for him. After a while the novelty wears off. and you begin to expostulate with baby and tell him he mustn't throw his things down. But then it is too late, as you find to your cost. For the habit has been acquired. You have forgotten that baby's moral sense is keener and far more logical than your own. in one respect, for he argues that what Was right and approved of by von at the outset must continue to

remain so. And he refuses to unlearn what was all right when he first acquired it. Can you blame him?

No; the only way to do is to pi.-k up the toy once or twice, if you wish, shaking your head vigorously in disapproval, however, and saying emphatically and unmistakably. “No! no!” It will not take the child long to discover what this means, if you do not enter into any long explanation with it. quite beyond its comprehension. Stick to the monosyllabic vocabulary for a while. If he continues to throw the toy down take it away from him entirely and substitute an- < ther. lie has probably tired of the first.

Accustom the child very early in his career to amuse himself. Do not get into the habit of picking him up every time he cries and amusing him. Try instead to discover why he cries for he has always a sufficient reason, and then you can remedy the evil more efficiently. Again, when he begins to creep about do not allow him to follow you from room to room. Ibis, also, is so cunning at first. You look up unawares from your work and find a baby on the threshold, smiling roguishly. You let him into the parlour, where you are dusting. and he immediately knocks over a vase or small stand. If he is never allowed outside of his own little domain at this earlv stage: if he is never, from the very beginning, allowed to touch anything but his own toys, there will be no necessity, after a few years, for all those annoying don'ts of the mother when she takes her child visiting. “Why. your child doesn't touch a thing on the table, does she?” remarked one lady to another in astonishment. “I would nor dare to leave cake and confection about in

that style. Kenneth would devour them without delay.” I have seen children, from the moment they entered a house, no matter if for the first time, proceed to make themselves thoroughly at home by pulling out drawers of cupboards, investigating wardrobes and nook shelves, demanding cake and a drink and behaving generally as they do at home, where the careless mother thinks their behaviour only childlike and never tries to correct them. She 5s sometimes a trifle ashamed of them out. but the hostess kindly, but hypocritically, reassures her upon the subject, and the mother ends by thinking, and sometimes by saying, that they are no worse than other children, she supposes.

All these little faults are so difficult to correct, lint so easy to prevent. If the mother insists upon her

“No. no!” at the very beginning—if. in other words, she makes baby mind his cwn little affairs, he need never become a nuisance. He will always be a pleasure. For who does not love the well-trained 1 , amiable baby or child? I do not mean a. self-satisfied little prig, who is good because he has not spirit or health or vitality enougli to be bad. 'but a youngster who possesses all the animal spirits and love for play that he should have at the time, but who knows how to

b-liave 1 iuiself when he gets among elders.

I have very little faith in the »ocalled "natural sin” of an infant. I think almost all faults and bad habits are the result of slow growth. • r

else are acquired from parents, nurses or daily companions. If yon would never have your child impatient in his play, be sure you never allow him to see you impatient. If you do not wish him to exhibit violent temper, be sure you never allow him to witness such an exhibition. If you wish his speech to be always proper and gentlemanlike, be sure you always speak in a ladylike, gentle tone. Always request him to do a thing, and he will always request you. Command him ami he will com mand you. Do you wish him to be neat and orderly with his toys? Always sec that they are put away properly. Never develop the destructive habit in him by allowing him to tear paper and picture books. If his toys accidentally break and cannot be mended take them away from him entirely, so that he dies not become familiar with the sight of imperfection and think it all right. After all. if the child loves you. and he will -be apt to if you treat him not only affectionately, but quietly and firmly and. above all. consistently, he will be apt to reflect your faults ami virtues. Therefore look to yourself as keenlv as vou look to him.

But. above and beyond all. never promise or threaten if you will, punishment for an offence unless you intend to administer it. If the child knows imi mean what, you say and will alwavs do what vou sav. it will

be far easier to exact from him that perfect obedience which is the root of all virtues. o o o o o The Guest Chamber. George Eliot says that the guest chamber should be made the m»st attractive and beautiful room in .he home. She says we never know what sad, disheartened guest we n a\ be sending to it, and a cheery, bright fire, a low easy rocking-chair with cushions, a perfe tiy eoufortable bed with a warm comfort folded and lying outside it, will cheer and encourage a despondent -o il perhaps, and bid them take courage. A good night's rest. with every available need, is luxurv ; is a pleasure to a refined nature. We should place in a gu< st-chain-lier plenty of clean towels, nailbrushes. good soap, b »rax. vaseline, a pitcher of fresh drinking water, a glass, a box of matches, and a can die or lamp on a stand near the be !. so the guest will not have to a>k f r such needs. Brushes, combs, hairpins. pins, shoe but toners, are .11 necessary to the comfort of t! e guest. Leave the dresser-drawer empty for the guest’s use. A table, and a neat writing-desk fitted with pen. ink. stationery, postal cards, and stamps is needed oftentim s. and should be provided. Never use the bed linen after a guest has slept one night upon it. The guest's chamber thus cared for will give its occupant pleasure and comfort.