GOOD STORIES.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXIV, Issue VIII, 24 February 1900, Page 357

GOOD STORIES.

NEWSBOY TACTICS. Dialogue overheard at a pit entranee on Saturday afternoon: — Newsboy, who had vainly tried to sell a halfpenny evening paper, suddenly yells: “Suicide of Cronje!” Possible Purchaser: “That’s not true, you know, boy.” Newsboys (in an aggrieved tone): “It’s not the first lie I've told to-day. But it’s quite true. He shot hisself w’th a square, round, three-cornered bullet.” Possible Purchaser laughs. Newsboy returns to the charge: “Now. sir. buy a paper. You’ve had your pay and can afford it.” Paper sold, and boy departs to repeat his little manoeuvre. A CALM REQUEST. The letter-bags of the rich contain many curious examples of the art of letter writing. Here is a specimen: — “My dear Mrs L. , —My daughter, Louise, after finishing her course at the High School, is ready to enter society. My husband’s salary is not such as to give her such a coming-out party as she ought to have if she is to be a social success. She is handsome and dances well. I know you would like her to have a. eha nee. It would take me about £2OO to give her a coming-out party and buy her dresses and flowers for the winter, so I write to ask if you will send me this.” And this, be it remembered, from an entire stranger, who, on investigation, proved to be the wife of a- bookkeeper in an insurance office. AN ENDOWED CARRIAGE. Another letter, addressed to a wealthy American well known for his philanthropy, certainly appeals to one’s imagination, although it did not successfully do so to the rich man’s pocket. It was a touching appeal from a woman whose husband was in one of the Government departments. She wrote a long and eloquent letter setting forth her need for —a coupe. She argued with faultless logic that she could not pay her calls without it, and if she did not pay her calls she would have no social influence, and it was precisely her social influence which was necessary to help her husband forward, and provide for the future of her children. The cost of a coupe, she explained, was quite beyond her husband’s modest income, hence her request for the gift of one. The more she thought about it, however, the more evident it became that, even if the coupe was given to her, the cost of keeping it up would be too great for the family finances—and she was very particular never to run into debt. The only course open seemed to be to ask for an endowed coupe, the gift including not only the vehicle, but also a fixed sum each year for its maintenance. PADDY’S REQUEST. Another wealthy man, the owner of a fine country house, received one day a modest little request. It arrived in the shape of a letter from an Irish day-labourer whose family he had been helping. Paddy proposed that as his benefactor had so much ground, he should build a little house on his front lawn for his correspondent, and give it to him rent-free for the rest of his life, with enough land around it to grow potatoes and cabbages in. “And then.” added the writer, with line but unconscious humour, T should not have to be beholden io you enny more.” THE LIMIT OF ENDURANCE. When General Grant was President, a certain friend of his came out of the West to see him. One day, just a* ter leaving the White House, this friend fell in with a fellow Westerner in the White House grounds, and a heated encounter took place, which suddenly terminated by the General’s friend knocking the other man down. The matter was hushed up, but the General, naturally indignant, called his friend to account, saying. “John, you’ve treated me and the office I hold with much discourtesy. Why did you do such a thing?” “Well, it was this way. General,” replied the now thoroughly penitent one, “you know there was bad blood between us. and he had set all sorts of stories going about me. Just after leaving yen 1 ran into him, and he nt once accused me of doing a certain thing. A.< it was n lie, I only laughed at him. Thei b< accused me of something else, and that being a lie. I jeered at him again, but his third accusation was true, and by gad. sir. I couldn’t stand that, so I knocked him down.”