WHY GIRLS WHO MAKE LOVE SELDOM MARRY.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXIV, Issue VII, 17 February 1900, Page 308

WHY GIRLS WHO MAKE LOVE SELDOM MARRY.

Probably at some time or other vn life every woman wishes to marry. It may be in girlhood, or somewhat later, or perhaps it is only a sort of far-off dream for the future, for though life is merry enough for the unmated as long as beauty lasts and friends are plentiful, the prospect of a lonely old age is not inviting. There is such a thing as “single blessedness” even for elderly and really old women, but then they must prepare for it in youth by cultivating their minds and widening their circle of interest beyond the little limits of their homes. Some of the happiest women in thet world are spinsters, for they are happy, not in a selfish way, but because they are doing their work in the world and adding to the sum of human happiness. I counsel every girl to try to follow their example, so that old-maidenhood —if that be her fate—may be to her indeed a state of “single blessedness.” I do not say that happy wifehood and motherhood are not to be desired, for I am quite convinced that they are very desirable indeed. At the same time. I counsel girls to try to fit themselves for “single blessedness” rather than to try to win husbands. Aly reasons are, first, because the girl who would make the best old-maid is the womanly girl, who, if marriage were her lot, would also make the best wife, and secondly, because I disapprove of women taking the initiative in matrimonial affairs and doing the courting. Perhaps it may be thought that I am prudish; I am sure that I am practical. Again and again I have seen bright and pretty enough girls left on the shelf simply because they had not wit enough to see that men like to woo and not to be wooed. A girl who courts a man often appears to receive his admiration, for her attentions flatter and please him, and therefore he enjoys talking to her; but she does not win his love. A man never desires keenly that which is easily won. and directly he sees that a girl is doing all in her power to attract him, he at once cools off. Probably he will go off in disgust, and turn his attention to some one else, whose womanly reserve keeps him on tenterhooks and gives the zest and romance to his courtship which the other affair lacked.

It is possible, however, that pity for the woman who has so openly shown him her love may make him marry her.' If so, then what chance of happiness is there for the couple? Fancy a marriage being founded on pity! . Another reason against a woman doing the courting is that she will lose dignity. A man must respect the woman he loves, and how can he respect her if he sees that her own sex look askance on her, as they certainly will do if she takes the part of wooer. Anything more wretched than the position of a woman who has not her husband's respect can hardly be imagined, better a thousand times for her to have remained unwed.