SURPRISE.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXI, Issue IX, 27 August 1898, Page 288

SURPRISE.

‘ Young Mr Dabster says that he is wedded to his art.’ ‘ Indeed !’ replied Miss Cayenne. ‘ I shouldn’t have judged by his pictures that he was even engaged to it.’

ECLIPSED. ‘ Me ould woman kin lift a tub of water wid ase. ’ ‘ Dat’s inittin’, me mudder’s a shop lifter.’

THE WORSE OF THE TWO. ‘ Borrowing is a disease,’ said Bigbee, in self-justification. ‘ Ami lending is insanity,’ replied Small, significantly. THAT’S SO. Romantic: All the world’s a stage.’ Cynic : Yes, and most of us never get any further than mere scene-shifters. THE TRUE WISDOM. ‘ Who is the happier, a man who has £100,tK)O or one who has seven daughters’’ Rabbi: ‘ The latter.’ ‘ Why’’ Rabbi : ‘ The man with £lOO,OOO wants more, the other doesn’t.’ QUERY. She : I learn from other people’s mistakes. He : Well, I made one when I married you. What do you learn from that’ NO HELP NEEDED. ‘ If any' man wanted to kiss me I should scream for help.’ ‘ O, if he really wanted to kiss you you wouldn’t need any one to make him do it.’ GENTLE HINT. He : ‘ Your sweet face is my book of life. I swear it.’ She : ‘ But your oath is not valid until you have kissed the book.’ DIPLOMATIC USURER. May : ‘ I always collect double on the bets I win.’ Ada : ‘ I should think the losers would object.’ May : ‘ Not at all—l always bet kisses.’ ONE GOOD REASON. Mrs Nobbs : 1 should think you would so dislike to part with your maid after having her for two years. Mrs Hobbs : Indeed, I do. Mrs Nobbs : One’s maid find out so much about one in two years. ROUGH ON DOCTORS. An Irish brakesman was hurt by a train, and his friends offered to send for a physician. They asked : ‘Do you want an allopath or hoimeopatii?’ He replied, ‘lt don’t matter—all paths lead to the grave.’