THE GIFT OF GRACIOUSNESS.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XVII, Issue XXII, 28 November 1896, Page 126

THE GIFT OF GRACIOUSNESS.

(BY MRS WILLIE WALKER CALDWELL.) If I could play fairy godmother to all the girls I know I should bring to each christening the same gift—thereby endowing them with a wonderful power, which would bring them friends, happiness, influence and love —‘the gift of graciousness.’ Most girls fail to appreciate this quality, which is more winning than accomplishments, and more enduring than beauty. When the freshness, light-heartedness and graces of youth are gone this gift abides, and forms as becoming a diadem to the matron s brow, or the grandmother’s silver locks as to the beauty of the maiden. Unlike beauty, which God has not granted to all women, and accomplishments, for which all have not a like taste or fitness, this gift can be acquired by all. The only things that can prevent its acquisition are a selfish disposition and a loveless heart—it will not dwell where love for humanity does not abide, and, like true politeness it is founded on unselfishness. I have heard girls say something like this : ‘ Oh, she is nice to every one—it is natural for her to be so—somehow Ido not feel that way. lam constitutionally indifferent, and it would be hypocrisy in me to pretend to be interested in most people, when really there are only a few 1 care about.’ I have heard these same girls comp.ain of not being so universally liked as other girls, or of being left out of some pleasure in which their more gracious friends were included. The secret at the bottom of the natural indifference of these girls is generally selfishness, indisposition to put themselves out for others, or else a conceited idea that their charms are so great that every one should pay court to them and expect nothing in return. I have heard other girls say that they were too timid to be gracious, that their shyness made them appear indifferent. The best antidote for timidity is to cultivate an unselfish interest in others, and to think as little as possible of one’s self ; there is no more effectual cloak for shyness than a kindly graciousness of manner. I know two girls who live in the same town. One of them is considered very beautiful, graceful and bright ; she has several admirers and a few friends, but the majority of her associates and her mother's and father’s friends feel entirely indifferent to her, while some comment unfavourably upon her repellent manners. The other girl is not near so pretty and not a whit brighter, but she has sweet, gracious ways with old people and children, with her mother's friends and her own, with the tradespeople and servants.and everyone in the town is her admirer, champion and friend. Wherever she goes, smiles and blessings attend her Have you not observed the blessed presence of a gracious girl like this at a social gathering or house party ? She smiles brightly at her hostess, and enters heartily into the pleasures provided for her ; stops in the corner for a brief chat with the dear old grandmother, and watches for an opportunity to exchange an unaffected greeting with her host. She compliments the pretty costume or sweet voice of a shrinking girl, and makes the awkward boys, who are just entering society, feel comfortable by her unstudied ease and cordiality. She quietly thanks the servants for their services, is ready for a romp with the baby brother, or a game of dolls with the little sisters, and makes herself a veritable source of sunshine to a whple gathering or to an entire household.

As life ripens and duties multiply, this ‘ gift of graciousness’ finds new channels, and that which may have at first been little more than a trick of manner, prompted by kindliness of heart, develops into a trait of character—a life principle—and so becomes a power. What a subtle, yet strong, force in the management of a home ! How it blesses the husband, assists in controlling the servants, and influencing the children ; what a potent charm it is iu social life, and especially in performing the agreeable duties of hostess. The girl whose mother has this gift is particularly fortunate. Her home is sure to be a happy one, her friends are the friends of her mother also, and in the pleasures of her youth she has her mother’s help and sympathy side by side with her due restraint and judicious advice.