AN ELECTRICAL FANCY.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XVII, Issue II, 11 July 1896, Page 63

AN ELECTRICAL FANCY.

The astonishing progress of electrical science is neatly satirized by a Parisian paper, which imagines Mr Edison, in his laboratory, hearing the news of a declaration of war between Great Britain and the United States. A young man, his assistant, rushes in, pale and out of breath, and exclaims to the great electrician : ‘ O master, war is declared ! It is terrible !’ ‘Ah !’ says the master. War declared, eh ? And where is the British army at this moment ?’ ‘ Embarking, sir.’ ‘ Embarking where ?’ * At Liverpool.’ ‘At Liverpool—yes. Now, my friend, would you please join the ends of those two wires hanging there against the wall ? That’s right. Now bring them to me. Good! And be kind enough to press that button.’ The assistant, wondering and half-amused, presses the button. ‘ Very well,’ says the inventor. ‘Now do you know what is taking place at Liverpool ?’ ‘The British army is embarking, sir.’ The inventor pulls out his watch and glances at the time. ‘ There is no British army,’ he says coolly. ‘ What ?’ screams the assistant. • When you touched that button you destroyed it.’ ‘ Oh, this is frightful.’ ‘lt is not frightful at all. It is science. Now every time that a British expedition embarks at any port, please come and tell me at once. Ten seconds afterwards it will simply be out of existence, that’s all.’ ‘ There doesn’t seem to be any reason why America should be afraid of its enemies after this, sir.’ I am inclined to believe you,’ says the master, smiling slightly. ‘ But in order to avert future trouble, I think it would be best to destroy England altogether. ‘To —to destroy England, sir—’ ‘ Kindly touch button number four there.’ The assistant touches it. The inventor counts ten. ‘ —eight, nine, ten—it is all over. There is no more England !’ ‘ Oh ! oh !’ screams the young man. ‘ Now we can go on quietly with our work,’ says the master. ‘ And if we should ever be at war with any other nation, you have only to notify me. I have an electric button connecting with every foreign country which will destroy it when pressed. In ten minutes I could destroy every country in the world, the United States included. Be careful, now, that you don’t touch any of those buttons accidentally—you might do a lot of damage!’