CYCLE WORSHIP.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XVII, Issue I, 4 July 1896, Page 32

CYCLE WORSHIP.

This story has a bearing on the passion among girls for cycling. A seven-year-old urchin, saying his prayers at aunty’s knee, had to be gently reminded—‘ But you didn’t pray for grandma’s safety, dear !’ ‘ What!’ burst from the kneeling little figure, ‘ has she got one too ?*

She : ‘ A man is a fool when he is in love.’ He : • Not always. All men who fall in love do not marry.’

Many a man makes a good reputation on what is not found out about him.

It doesn’t do to be too careful. The man who bit a shilling, and found it was bad, left it in such a shape that he couldn’t pass it anywhere.

A temperance editor, in drawing attention to an article against ardent spirits in his paper, says, ‘ For the effects of Intemperance, see our inside.’

The man who sits down to wait for his opportunity will sometime discover that it passed that way several hours before he sat down.

Highwayman : ‘ Throw up your hands and hand over the cash !’ Paying Teller: • Sorry I can’t accommodate you, but the cashier left Europe last night.’

Cholly : ‘ What's youah hand bandaged for, old chap ?’ Archie: ' Weumatism, old man. Me bwute of a man bwoughtme a cold sausah with me coffee this mawning.* Cholly : ‘ The wascal!’

Insurance Superintendent (suspiciously) : 1 How did your husband happen to die so soon after getting insured for a large amount ?’ Widow : •He worked himself to death trying to pay the premiums.’ Miss Giddishe : ‘lt is curious how one sees a lot of divorced women around, but rarely a divorced man. I wonder what becomes of them ?’ • He (a married man): ‘ They die of joy.’

First Teacher : * I am very much annoyed by my pupils coming late.’ Second Teacher: ‘I used to be annoyed in the same way, but I have found out how to put a stop to that.’ ‘What is it?’ * I come late myself.’

‘ You shouldn’t mind his comparing your cooking with his mother’s,’ said the elderly friend, ‘all husbandshave that trick.’ ‘lt wasn’t his mother’s cooking,’ sobbed the indignant young woman. ‘ I could have stood that. He said I couldn’t make as good pies as his mother’s hired girl.’

A tourist in Switzerland, who was about to make the ascent of a mountain, thought best to ask some questions as to the capabilities of his guide. ‘lshe a thoroughly skilful climber ?’ he asked of a hotelkeeper. ‘ I should say sol’ exclaimed the innkeeper. ‘He has lost two parties of tourists down the mountain side, and escaped without a scratch both times 1’

During an examination of non-commissioned officers who were qualifying for promotion the following question was asked of a sergeant—‘ What is strategy ? Give me an instance of it.’ After reflecting for a moment or two, the man gave this reply—‘ When in battle, and you are out of ammunition and don’t want the enemy to know it, it is a good strategy to keep on firing.’

Mutual Friend : ‘ It is really shocking, dear, the way in which you and your husband quarrel and carry on. I wonder you don’t separate from him.’ Injured Wife: * What '- go away and leave him alone to do just as he likes ? Not I!’