TALKS WITH MOTHERS.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XVI, Issue XIX, 9 May 1896, Page 548

TALKS WITH MOTHERS.

THAT BOY OF MINE AND THE GIRLS. That boy of mine is the one who is busy all day, but who enjoys going out into the world seeing and talking with pretty girls, and who hopes, some day, to have a home of his own, and a dear little wife as mistress of it. He may be sixteen, he may be twenty-one or he may be thirty—some men are boys all their lives. I wouldn’t give a snap for a boy who hadn’t an ideal, and who did not hope to make much of himself and his future. If he is satisfied with what he is he will stay where he is all his life, and while other boys, apparently boys less bright than he, go up the ladder of success, he will be left at the bottom because he is satisfied to remain there. This boy of mine is not dissatisfied in one sense ; that is, he is not a growler, but he is hopeful and he is ambitious ; he means to succeed in business, he means to make a home for himself, and he means to live the live of a good man. But sometimes, though he is very clever in the office, and perfectly at ease in his own home, he is a bit embarrassed when he goes out. He is not quite sure of himself. His sister, unfortunately, has told him how the girls laugh at awkward boys, and he feels a flush on his cheek, is provoked at himself for blushing like a girl, and wishes he had stayed at home, for he is altogether uncomfortable. He looks with envy at the other fellow—that one who appears quite at home, who understands how to enjoy himself, to make the girls like him, and who seems to have succeeded in attaining an ease of manner that is really most desirable. My boy says other fellow is a fool as far as work is concerned, and he tries to make himself feel better by underrating him. Understand, I do not blame him, but I want to tell that boy of mine about some of his own mistakes, and I want to suggest to him how he may make himself perfectly at ease in the social world. In the first place do not be conscious of yourself. Do not stammer and feel certain that your tie is wrong. As I said before, the first thing you must do is to forget yourself and think about other people. Don’t stop in the hall to wonder about your overcoat and hat, but take them off and leave them there, and go on to where the ladies are waiting to greet you. Don’t try to talk too much, but make some pleasant remarks, and be very certain that these will be caught up by your hostess, and gradually an easy conversation will ensue—you will forget how it began and you will also forget yourself. And that is most impor tant. But if you should start in and carry your overcoat into the room, or wear it there, try and laugh off your blunder, but don’t let it happen again. The art of success in social life is to keep one’s eyes open. See what other people do and imitate them. If you are at a dinner or a supper, and a strange dish comes to you, chatter with your neighbour and watch how the others eat it, and then begin. I want you to be in the society of girls—to be among nice girls—but do not be foolish enough to be led astray by the girl who is inclined to be free in her manners. She will be of no advantage to you, and the people who are interested in you, the desirable people, will think less of you when they hear who your companions are, and surely you want to keep your name without spot or blemish. A good girl can do much for you ; a bad one, alas, can also do much for you, but in the wrong way. Be always looking for the ideal girl, keep her before you, and you will not be apt to cast your lot among those whose hands are not clean enough to touch her skirts. Do I advise you to go with a prude? No, but there is a happy medium between the prude and the fast girl. The nice girl reserves her confidances for the man she gives her love to, she keeps her kisses for him, and she does not permit any acquaintance to call her by her first name, forthat is too sacred. Still she does not, like the prude, find real, honest pleasure improper, but she joins in the fun, and is happy because she is innocent and good.