CREATING AN IMPRESSION.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XV, Issue XXIV, 14 December 1895, Page 743

CREATING AN IMPRESSION.

But the life of the touring actor is not always a happyone. There are occasions when the treasury ghost fails in his accustomed stroll, and bad business, or a levanting manager, often brings a tour to an abrupt and eminently unsatisfactory conclusion. I know two actors who were left as the term goes, ‘ on their uppers,’ in a town in the heart of the Midlands. Their manager had skipped away with whatever funds may have been lying at the bottom of the company’s chest, and the disconsolate twain had drawn very little salary for some weeks. Their landscape was a bleak and wintry one, but Johnson had plenty of the stuff that is alleged to spring eternal in the human breast. ‘ If we can only reach Blankhampton,’ he said, ‘ I am pretty sure of an engagement for us ; anyhow, we shall be able to rub along for a week or two until an opening occurs, for I have some good chums there ’ Jackson, the other mummer, devoutly trusted that the future might be as rosy as his friend opined. They formed themselves into a committee of supply, and ‘ uncle ’ was visited and offered certain detachable articles in lieu of his contribution towards railway fares. They managed to rake up sufficient for that important item, but they had very few coppers to spare after they had paid for their tickets. ‘Never mind,’ said Johnson, ‘ it will be all right when we get to Blankhampton.’ They had no luggage. It was hypothecated, but they cared little. Their long railway journey was a blissful one, for were they not journeying to a harbour of refuge ? Hope, however, assuages no appetite, and they began to get very hungry. But food is out of the question when cash is out of reach.

At a little countrified junction, where they were awaiting a train, a wan of distinctly rural aspect approached them. He sported a smock, and a red, smiling face. And he carried a wicker-basket. ‘ Beg pardon, gents, for troubling ye, but be ye passing through Dashminster ?’ he asked. ‘ Yes,’ said Johnson, ‘ We’re going through to Blankhampton. ’ ‘ Mought I ask ye to dew me a favour, gents, if ye would be so kind ? I ha’ got yere a couple o’ homin’ pigeons, and I wants to try ’em. Would ye let ’em out of the train at Dashminster for me ?' ’Certainly,’ said Johnson, ‘ we shall be very pleased to oblige you. Here’s the train.’ The wicker basket with the pigeons was carefully deposited on the hat-rack, and with renewed assurances as to their willingness to oblige the farmer by letting his birds loose at the proper point, Johnson and Jackson went speeding on the way. ‘ It’s forty mile from here,’ were the farmer’s last words, * but the birds ’ll find their ways home aright.’ On the train went, and the two friends nodded off to sleep. Dashminster was passed, but the pigeons were forgotten. Johnson awoke soon afterwards, and aroused Jackson. ’There’s only one worry for us, now,’he remarked. ‘ That is, lodgings. Landladies are suspicious persons, and, seeing no luggage, may ask for a deposit. Then we’re up a tree.’ Jackson looked blank. ‘ Can’t we face it out ? Let us say our luggage is coming on. Don’t dash my hopes, now, just as I am dwelling on the delights of a dinner !’ ‘Dinner!’ ejaculated Johnson. ‘Yes, we shall have to spring the landlady for that at once. That’s where she will want a bit of the ready money on account !’ ‘ Unless we can dazzle her !’ ‘ Ah ! but how is that to be done ?’ At that crucial moment one of those poor pigeons cooed, or, rather, gave utterance to whatever sound naturally emanates from a pigeon. It was an unfortunate thing for the pigeon to do, looked at from his point of view. ‘By Jove !’ cried Jackson. ‘ We’ve forgotten to let the pigeons loose ! And we’re a long way past Dashminster!’ He reached up for the wicker basket, and opened the carriage window. Johnson was a man of ready wit. He laid a restraining hand upon his friend’s shoulder, and said—‘Jim, do you like pigeon pie ?’ Jim dropped back in his seat. He was startled, thunderstruck. But thoughts of savoury things fomented in his brain. ‘ Rather !’ he said. ‘ We’ll have those pigeons for dinner,’ remarked the other. ‘ But—but—the farmer—’ ‘ Can’t help his troubles at present. We must eat. And don’t you see what an effect it will have upon the mind of the lady who lets lodgings, when we throw down a brace of birds, and say, “ Make a pie of those ?” ’ ‘ She’ll think we’re millionaires! But shall we take them to her as they are, or ’ ‘You wring the neck of one, and I’ll despatch the other.’ The fell deed was soon accomplished. There was a small piece of paper attached under the wing of each bird, bearing the owner’s name and address. This was carefully saved by Johnson, but the wicker basket was dropped out of the window. The pigeons were tied together by the feet, and when Blankhampton was reached, they were an effective argument in favour of the actors’ respectability when they sought for ‘ diggings.’ The landlady dreamed not of requesting any deposit, and really made quite an appetising dish of the birds. Brighter days dawned for Johnson and Jackson. They struck oil in Blankhampton, and they forwarded the farmer full value for the birds. Their explanation is worth recording : — Dear Sir,—l am sorry to sav that I incautiously let loose the pigeons entrusted to me at the very moment that an express train was passimr. Unfortunately, the birds were both caught by the engine, and I saw them struck to the ground. Recognising that it was my clumsiness that led to this mishap, 1 ask you, as some recompense, to accept the enclosed post-office order.