THE BEGGING LETTER-WRITER.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XIV, Issue VII, 16 February 1895, Page 158

THE BEGGING LETTER-WRITER.

BY

JAMES PAYN.

In the old histories of literature there is very little said about those persons on the last rung of the ladder—the literary begging letter writers. The Post Office arrangements did not give them the facilities they enjoy at present, or the popular author was not so successful or well paid as to make him worth their attention. For these importunate gentry, forgetful of the proverb that ‘ Hawks do not peck out hawks’ een,’ almost exclusively confine their attentions to members of that craft to which they themselves pretend to belong. Perhaps they shrewdly suspect that the world at large is not much interested in the affairs of Grub Street, whereas the literary man, being above all things what his contemners call • shoppy,* is easily moved by a tale of non success in his own line. Men of letters are generally open handed, and almost universally averse to trouble, and, like the unjust judge, are far too weak to resist importunity. They may have a strong suspicion that they are being done, but tbe bother of investigation is too much for them. A member of tbe Charity Organisation Society once told me that authors encouraged imposture more than all the other professions Sut together. The Society's last report does not say this, ut if any literary person should give himself the pains,

which is doubtful, to read it, he will certainly recognise the portraits of some old friends. Where these have found their greatest advantage over him is in his neglect to send back something they have forwarded to him as a guarantee of good faith — a paragraph from some obscure newspaper--the only copy, as it turns out, of the man’s supreme literary effort; or a very filthy pawn-ticket, to show bow poor he is; or a medical certificate, the very appearance of which suggests infection. The literary person averse to disagreeable spectacles often throws these things into the fire directly he sets eyes on them, the result of which is that he has a pensioner for life. Where is a man to look for help after these precious documents have been destroyed if not to the person to whose carelessness their irrevocable loss is owing ? But if he has not this solid ground for compensation, the begging-letter writer has many particular claims upon his literary victim. He had once the happiness of belonging to a printing establishment when one of the author’s * delightful works ’ was passing through the press, and trusts that the humble finger he has had in the pie of bis success will plead for him ; or he has been an artist who has assisted to produce the coloured pictures which tiame on the cheap editions of the author’s works upon the bookstalls; or • whether his appeal is listened to or not,’ he shall never forget the amusement and instruction he has derived from Mr Jones’s genius—and I am not sure that thia does not * fetch ’ Mr Jones more than all his other arguments. Nevertheless, as a past master among the victims of the begging-letter writer, I venture to suggest a few alterations and improvements in the method of application. The very carelessness of the persons from whom they get their living, and on which they mainly count for it, should teach them a little prudence and forethought: they need not keep their books by double entry, but they might make notes on their shirt-cuffs (when they have any) of tbe dates on which their applications have been made. It is impossible that they can have bad an addition to their family on November 4th and then again on December 4th. A reasonable time should be allowed, not, indeed, for the operations of nature, for those may be disregarded, but for the circumstances in question to have escaped the memory of the proposed victim. Again, I cannot but think it a mistake after having obtained tbe exact sum (half a guinea) requisite • to reinstate me in my proper position,’ to write by return of post for thirty * shillings more, on account of a miscalculation of my finances.’ A third and very common plan that I think might be dispensed with is the application for a loan when that for a gift has had a considerable and continuous success. Even a literary person who has bled freely is irritated at this new method of depletion, which, in addition to its other advantages, establishes a link with the very person he yearns to get rid of. it is said that the best way to shake off a disagreeable acquaintance is to lend him money, but this only grapples you to the begging-letter writer with hooks of steel.