A PEA-SHOOTER-PROOF ASCOT VEIL!
master’s invention. EXTRAORDINARY EXPERIMENTS. Recently the auditorium of the Vampire Palace was crowded by an audience far more numerous than select, anxious to witness the tests to which Herr Master was about to submit his new Pea-Shooter Proof Ascot Veil. Admission was by bouncing the gate only, and among those present we noticed several of the best known racecourse gonopbs, sporting peers, c’rect card sellers, crowned and other heads, Press spongers, and a large contingent of reel lidies, who had been attracted by the prospect of putting in a bit of profitable afternoon overtime. Proceedings commenced by the popular manager of the Vampire, Mr Scratchings, introducing the inventor to the audience, and a committee was then chosen to testify to the bona tides of the experiments, those selected including Romano’s cbucker, Captain Kelly of London, the Bishop of Finborough Road, and other celebrities. Excitement increased with the production of the veil, which was hung on a chair. It was apparently formed of light gauze of the usual kind, and had no special appearance calculated to excite curiosity. That celebrated marks man, Captain Shifter, having then taken his stand opposite it at a distance of five yards, proceeded to open tire with an ordinary common or garden service pea shooter. After several shots, during which the veil was seen to be considerably agitated, an examination was made, and it was found that not a single pea had perforated and that the chair was totally uninjured. Loud cheering from all parts of the bouse greeted this announcement from the committee, and there was some slight excitement owing to a large section of the audience insisting that this was devilish dry work, and it was time that the drinks were heaved round. In the absence of the refreshment manager, a bar was then burgled by an expert from the Criterion (Merchant’s End), and the audience settled themselves again in their places to await the truly sensational item of the performance, viz., the assumption of the veil itself by Herr Master to indicate his confidence in its efficacy at the risk of his life. Amid dead silence the intrepid inventor was awaited, and when he was led forward, enveloped in the veil, by Mr Scratchings, deafening was the uproar. There was no need for the services of the Official Marksman, everyone present producing pea shooters, bags of flour, lumps of coke, semi-bricks and other tasteful emblems of the road. After sustaining a fusillade compared with which the Alma was a trifle, the inventor walked off unscathed, being, in fact, the toughest three-shies-a-penny man procurable, Herr Master having declined to appear himself for fear of giving a clap-trappy and sensational aspect to what was a genuine scientific experiment. The ‘Master Ascot Veil’ (Peashooter Proof) will be on sale everywhere and threatens to revolutionise the Ascot traffic, many who would otherwise fear the peril of the road being now encouraged to drive to the Heath with this safe contrivance as a defence from the perils to be incurred. The audience broke up as soon as it was found that there were no more drinks to be got, and except the fact that some very valuable timepieces have changed hands, some of the most ingenious • clock makers ’ of the trade being present, there was nothing to mar the pleasure of the proceedings, and everyone thanked Mr Scratchings, who had been incidentally held up for his scarf-pin, watch, and oof, for arranging such an agreeable method of spending the afternoon.— Sporting Times.
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Bibliographic details
New Zealand Graphic, Volume XIII, Issue V, 4 August 1894, Page 109
Word Count
588A PEA-SHOOTER-PROOF ASCOT VEIL! New Zealand Graphic, Volume XIII, Issue V, 4 August 1894, Page 109
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