TRY TO SMILE.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XIII, Issue II, 14 July 1894, Page 48

TRY TO SMILE.

WHERE the rub comes in. Inspector : ‘ Did you come here under contract to work ?’ Immigrant: ‘ No, sir; I kim here to shtart a labour organisation.’ A Clear Distinction.—Prospective Missus : ‘ Let me see, you are Irish, I think ?’ The Prospective ‘ General ’: ‘ No, mem —Oi’m Orange.’

Infelicitous Queries.—He: ‘By the way, talking of old times, do you remember that occasion when I made such an awful ass of myself ?' She : ‘ Which ?’

Economical.—Mildred : ‘ Did your fiance give you a ring?’ Anne: ‘No; I didn’t need one.’ Mildred: ‘Why?’ Anne : ‘ I wind him about my finger.’

Popping the Question.—He : ‘ And would you decline my love?’ She: ‘ Well, I should return it with ’ He : ‘Thanks?’ She: ‘No!—with interest.’ (No cards.)

Slight of hand —Refusing a marriage proposal.

For a Purpose.—Mr Feeder : ‘ This vest wants to be a little larger around the waist, Schneider.’ Schneider : ‘ But it fits you perfectly now, sir.’ Mr Feeder : • I know it fits all right now, but I am ordering this suit to wear at dinners !’

Mind-Reading Exemplified. — Dead Beat : ‘ You wouldn’t give us the price of a meal, mister ?’ Citizen: • You read my mind like an open book—l wouldn’t.’