THE GENEROUS ADVERTISER.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume X, Issue 13, 1 April 1893, Page 312

THE GENEROUS ADVERTISER.

I have read no end of papers, and I more than ever find That the modern advertiser is exceptionally kind ; He will lend you half a fortune on a simple note of hand ; And will treat you for a trifle to a plot of lovely land. He is willing to assist you in the most good-natured way To a supplemental income of, at least, a pound a day ; And a house that cost him hundreds he will even sacrifice For the paltry sum of eighty to the very first that buys. He will send you information for a single penny stamp Of the way to banish bunions, and the quickest cure for cramp ; For a very meagre payment he will introduction give To the most enchanting heiress that was ever known to live ; And for half its normal value, just to prove it’s not a fraud, He will sell a splendid business which he leaves to go abroad ; While the multifarious bargains in pianos, old and new, Are enough to make you fancy that there never lived a Jew. With a kindness unexampled in this very grasping age, He will introduce a novice, for a premium, to the stage ; And supposing you are married, but suspect your wife of wrong, With detectives, male and female, he’ll supply you for a song ; While for eighteenpence in postals you may have a chance to win In an easy competition quite a pocketful of ‘ tin ’ ; If you only read the papers you will very quickly find That the modern advertiser is exceptionally kind.