TOLD THIS CHRISTMAS.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume X, Issue 1, 7 January 1893, Page 24

TOLD THIS CHRISTMAS.

Seedy Stranger: ‘ Sir, at this holy and happy season, when the hearts of all are filled with joy, could you not by a good action bring—’ Mr Grasper Simmons (gruffly): ‘lf you needed a dinner, why didn’t you apply to the authorities ? There’s no need of going hungry.’ Seedy Stranger : ‘ You wrong me, sir,—l seek not charity. Do good for both yourself ami nre by purchasing a box of Stuffum’s After Dinner Pills, and secure at once bodily comfort and the sweet consciousness of having relieved the poor.'

Sl.Mi’KlNs: • Yonr little wife is a brilliantly handsome woman. I should think yon would be jealons of her.’ Host (confidentially); ‘To tell the truth, Simpkins, I am. I never invite anybody here that any sane woman would take a fancy to.’ Somehow Simpkins did not turn up on New Year's Day, ami his friend wondered !

Fisherman : ‘ I say, my little lad, do you know if there are any fish in the pond ’’ Scotch Boy : ‘ Well, sir, if there is ony they must be awful small ’cause there was no waiter there till it rained yesterday.’