AN UGLY COMPETITION.
A Scotch gentleman once had in his employment a valet, whose features were remarkably ugly and repulsive. On one occasion the valet incurred the displeasure of his employer, who, in a fit of indignation, handed him a loaded revolver, sarcastically ordering him to go out and shoot the first man he met uglier than himself. Obedient to his instructions, the valet, armed with the weapon, proceeded to carry them into execution. Meeting an ugly Irishman, whom he thought possessed the necessary qualifications, the following dialogue ensued— Valet : ‘ I say, I’ve got to shoot you.’ Irishman : ‘ Shoot me '. And what wud yer shoot me for 1 ’ Valet : *My master gave me this pistol and told me to shoot the first person I met uglier than myself. Irishman : ‘ Holy Bridget ! and am I uglier than you ’ ’ Valet: ‘Yes.’ Irishman : ‘ Then shoot ! be hivens, shoot ! ’
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https://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/periodicals/NZGRAP18920827.2.49.2
Bibliographic details
New Zealand Graphic, Volume IX, Issue 35, 27 August 1892, Page 870
Word Count
145AN UGLY COMPETITION. New Zealand Graphic, Volume IX, Issue 35, 27 August 1892, Page 870
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