MISCELLANEOUS.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume VII, Issue 9, 28 February 1891, Page 20

MISCELLANEOUS.

Polite Passenger : * Pardon me, sir ? Can I sit’down on this seat ?’ Old Sourboy : ‘ Well, I presume you can if you try«hard enough. I didn’t have any trouble !’ St. Peter : ‘ Who are you ?’ Shade : ‘ The author of “ Beautiful Snow.” ’ St. Peter : ‘ Well, I trust the thought of it will keep you cool in your future state. Will you go down by the toboggan or the elevator?’ Mr Poeticus (entering cheerfully) : ‘My love is like the red, red rose !’ Mrs Poeticus (looking up from the stove) s ‘ You’d look red, too, you lazy scribbler, if you’d been bending over a frying pan ifor twenty minutes !’ Mrs Proudfoot: * 1 have at last consented to my daughter’s marriage with George. You know he saved her from drowning while bathing.’ Little Tommy (interrupting) : ‘ Sister told me it was a put-up job.’ Nettie tells her engagement with great pride to her brother, and concludes: ‘Now, don’t tell anyone.’ Brother (who does not think so well of it): * Oh, you needn’t be afraid. I’m as much ashamed of it as you are.’ ‘Do you love my sister Effie ?’ Effie’s Steady Company - ‘ Why, Willie, that is a queer question. Why do you want to know ?’ Effie’s Brother : ‘ She said last night she would' give five shillings to know ; and I’d like to sweep it in.’ ‘ Do you know,’ she said, ‘ that clock reminds me of you every time I look at it. Do you notice anything peculiar about it ?’ ‘ Why, no ; I really can’t say that I do,’ he replied, as he drew nearer, ‘ except that it doesn’t go. ’ Then' he got red in the face, and in a few moments vanished. She was a pretty salesgirl, He asked her for a kiss ; For he was the accepted Of this fair and blushing miss. She gave him one, and as she drew Her rosy lips away—‘ls there,' asked she, in trembling tones, ‘Anything else you’d like to-day.’ A man in a train was heard to groan so frightfully that the passengers took pity on him, and one of them gave him a drink out of a whisky flask. ‘Do you feel better now ?’’ asked the giver. ‘ I do,’ said he who had groaned. * What ailed you T ‘ Ailed me ?’ ‘ Yes ; what made you groan so ?’ ‘ Groan ? Great land of freedom ! I was singing.’ Superstitious.—• Why do the girls all look so blue ?’ ‘ The young assistant fell up the pulpit stairs this morning. That means he won’t be married this year.’ After the Wedding.—He : ‘ What are you crying for r love?’ She: ‘ Over papa’s wedding present—boo-hoo.’ He: ‘ Why, what’s the matter with it ?’ She : It’s nothing but a receipted bill for the gas we used up during our courtship.’ A Freak. —Mrs A. : ‘How do you like our new neighbour ?’ Mrs B. : ‘I never met such an ignorant woman as she is. She can’t talk about anything but paintings, books, and music. She doesn’t-know a word of gossipabout anybody.’