The Debut of Caroline Ovum

Kai Tiaki : the journal of the nurses of New Zealand, Volume XII, Issue 4, 1 October 1919, Page 167

The Debut of Caroline Ovum

Grace Manning

By

A long time ago, so far back m our life's history, that memory fails us, there was once a tiny egg named Caroline Ovum, living happily with her companions m a funny little almond-shaped house, no bigger than a pigeon's egg, which was called 61 the ovary." Now, this little domicile was situated at the back of the broad ligament which is made up of a double fold of that delicate smooth membrane, draping all the abdominal organs, and also lining the abdominal wall.

Caroline Ovum, if you believe all her mother says about her, was always a very pushing young lady, and looked upon warnings as a presumption on the part of the giver, so it happened one day, when Caroline had one of her most bounciful fits upon her, she found herself elbowed right to the very door of her home, and without one second's warning, a slight push from her companions, sent her careering headlong into mid-air, and she landed, m a state of hysteria, into the midst of the fimbri&e which fringe the mouth of the fallopian tube.

There is no denying the fact that Caroline was frightened and wished herself home again m the snug little cottage which was still m sight ; but the fimbriae gave Caroline no rest, and it was easily seen they did not expect her to remain with them permanently, for they politely but firmly told her to take herself off down the fallopian tube en route for the uterus.

Caroline, like the rest of her sex, set out for an argument, but the fimbriae nodding assent to each other, passed her on through the tube where the villi there caught her m their swaying movement, and wafted her on m spite of all her objections.

" Oh, well," thought Caroline, " this is better than staying home all my life, I'll have a change of scenery anyway," and she was just beginning to settle to enjoy her adventures when she was tumbled pell-mell into a huge hall, pearshaped, and covered with a rough lining.

" Oh, how lovely," cries Caroline, but the next moment her happy smile froze

on her face, and a spasm of terror seized her, for she saw, making straight for her, m undue haste, a queer little creature with a tail which he used as a kind of propellor, to work his way about. " Cheer- o, Caroline," he shrieked with delight, " I've been looking for you everywhere, you're a sport, and no mistake," and overcome by his great joy at meeting the little ovum, he embraced her so tightly that the poor little egg almost lost consciousness, and m fact the last thing Caroline remembered was feeling that long tail wind around her as her strength gave out, and she fell, still m the tight embrace of that vigorous little spermatazoon on to the side of the soft wall near where they were standing.

When Caroline came to herself again , she realised that a great change had taken place within her, she really felt that she was not herself.

" I wonder who I am," she said, " I'm quite sure that Mr. Spermatazoon has attached himself to me m some way, for I feel I do not know myself as I once did . Impertinence of the creature ; rushing at me m that manner, why I had never seen him m my life before, and hope I never will again," and with a toss of her head which was a little bit of our old Caroline, she turned her attention to her surroundings .

" I've grown some," she murmured, and looking around she was astonished to find that she had on a lovely new overcoat which enveloped her entirely.

" How dinky," she gurgled, " I wonder what make of a coat is this," and on inspection she came across the brand marked m bold lettering, " Membranes," guaranteed to hold water. The outer covering of her coat was opaque (chorion) and covered with shaggy branching filaments known as the chorionic villi ; but the interior of her new garment, with its shiny, smooth, white surface, drove her into ecstasies beyond description.

"A real genuine aminotic lining," she cried, " gee, this is some coat." And no maiden m this big world could have been prouder of her new, silk-lined fur coat,

than was our little Caroline with her covering of membranes. ***** Time passed on over Caroline's head, she grew at an astounding rate, she stretched her limbs and admired the lanugo which covered her tiny body, and the hair appearing on her head sent her into raptures, so much so indeed that she could not resist calling the attention of the placenta to her beauty. " I say, Mr. Placenta, do you think my hair is curly ? " she asked. " Straight as pokers, never saw such a sketch m my life," he replied, " besides look at that greasy vernix caseosa all over you, it's a pity you don't wash yourself, you've nothing else to do all day." Caroline was overwhelmed with indignation, she twisted herself around to face the placenta to give him back as good as he gave ; but suddenly he blurted out m a voice of thunder : " Get off the cord." " That's right, you little silly, now get it round your neck," he continued as Caroline twisted and wriggled, trying to disentangle herself. " You behave more like a performing monkey than a five-month foetus," was his final shot. Caroline, with indignation written on her miniature face, gave the placenta such a look that, if looks could kill, that organ would have fallen off the uterine wall m a hopeless mass m the lower uterine segment ; but as luck had it, her glance escaped his notice, and so the catastrophe was averted. With her back turned to her companion, Caroline, too indignant to hold further conversation, began to examine her cord. She had never really taken much notice of this appendage of hers before, but now that she had fallen out with the placenta, she gave it her keenest attention, she extenuated its length, marvelled at its spiral twist, listened to the blowing sound of the blood being pumped through its veins and arteries, felt the whartonian jelly, which formed the cord, and lastly the amniotic covering which she traced slowly back to the placenta, brought back to her mind her recent quarrel with that organ, so she abruptly turned her back on it again, and found interest m examinng her finger nails to see how they were progressing.

Time wore on, Caroline developed, her body gradually filled the uterine cavity, her daily gymnastics were curtailed considerably owing to the lack of space. She now spent most of her time working her legs up into the fundus of the uterus, for here she found there was a little more room for movement. Her skin had lost most of its lanugo, and also its wrinkled appearance, due to the increased deposit of fat beneath it. " Now, Mr. Placenta," she cried one morning, "am I not a lovely baby ? ' " Oh, go and stand on your head," was the gruff reply. Oddly enough Caroline took his advice, not that it was anything new to her, for she spent most of her time m that position, as she found it the most comfortable, and gradually she became so settled that her head became fixed, it sunk into the brim of the pelvis and Caroline was forced to remain m that undignified position, much to the amusement of the Placenta. " Three weeks to a month," he chuckled to himself. ' Three weeks to a month of what ? ' asked Caroline. :< Peace and quietness," he replied, at least for me, I'd sooner you were where you are than* up here by me. I've had just about enough of your impertinence." One morning Caroline awoke hurriedly, something had pushed her, she waited a moment hoping to discover the culprit ; but without success, but m her own mind she felt sure that the Placenta had had something to do with it. Later on the offence was repeated, and she then realised that the uterine walls were closing gradually down on her, and that with each contraction, her little head was jammed down more firmly, and the resistance which met her, forced her chin down towards her chest. Again and again came those horrible contractions, which annoyed Caroline beyond words, and so frequent were they, that she only had time during the interval to tell the Placenta exactly what she thought of him, before another one would commence and force her head a little further through the cervical canal. :i Good gracious," she cried, between times, ;i how much more of this ; " but thank goodness that bag of membranes is

m front of my poor head, and long mayit remain there."

After Caroline had been treated so for many hours (quite twelve, so she told me afterwards) there was a change which she said came as a great relief. Without a word of warning the bag of membranes preceding her, ruptured, and then Caroline discovered that her head was now through the cervical canal, it having been pulled slowly over head, while her head m its turn had been acting as a wedge, with the forewaters m front to protect it. The contractions now became longer and stronger and of a more forcing character, which made Caroline feel sure that she was on the right road for home. With her head well flexed, her arms crossed on her chest, she continued her course until she felt her head touch something firm (pelvic floor), which had a tendency to push her back again. : ' Get out of my way," she demanded m her usual bounciful tone.

" Come down again, my lady, and you'll see what you will get," laughed the levator ani muscle.

Down came her head again, and we can but admire her determination, and again she was sent away.

" How dare you, sir," cried Caroline, feeling very much at a disadvantage m her present position, for how could anyone show her resentment with dignity when standing on her head.

" Ha, ha, my lady, I'll have you next time," said the muscle.

And sure enough he did, and poor Caroline, with her head rotating the one-eighth of a circle, so that her occiput could hitch

under the pubic arch, felt that all was over, for her progress seemed hedged m m all directions, except m the direction that her occiput had taken, so gradually lifting her chin from her chest, her face swept over the perineum and her head was born by extension. " A nice how-do-y'do, I don't think," she cries ; ' but for goodness sake let me untwist my neck." Restitution occurred, and Caroline felt happier, then her shoulders which had been lying m one of the oblique diameters of the pelvis, rotated, the anterior shoulder hitched under the pubes, and before Caroline had time to make any more rude comments she was ushered into the world, to make it or to mar it. ifc $ $ 41 ift $ The only complaint she had to make when I saw her afterwards, tucked m her little bassinet, was that the caput succedaneum spoilt her appearance for the time being. She said she knew they'd do some damage if they weren't careful, and considering her head most obligingly diminished its size by allowing the occiptal and frontal bones to slip under its two parietal bones, which m their turn had overlapped each other. " But, there you are," she continued, trying very hard to get her thumb into her mouth, " some people are never satisfied. Well, I feel like having a good sleep now, so goodbye for the present, but before you go, just move my crib out of this draught, and don't bang the door as you go out."