STRAIGHT TALK

Fair Play, Volume I, Issue 21, 1 May 1894, Page 12

STRAIGHT TALK

The idiotic proposal for the annexation of Samoa is being ridiculed from one end of the colony to the other. How such an utterly ridiculous notion could ever got possession of Richard the Fourth’s usually common-sense noddle is one of those things which “no fellah can understand.” A beautiful state of things indeed it would be for New Zealand were the project carried into effect. Why the Samoans are everlastingly squabbling amongst hemsclves, and when they go out on the war-path the ancient Maori wouldn’t havo been in it with them for atrocities. Head hunting is a very popular pastime, and some of our spindleshanked, dandified, Permanent Artillery men would find themselves in a very much warmer placo than they’ve yet experiuncod should trouble break out and the Hincmoa take a batch of them down to Sunny Samoa.

Then, again, who’s going to pay the piper ? Not New Zealand, for she has no money to spare, and- as for Samoa herself, she can’t pay the salaries of her present officials. Then again, our Government know next to nothing of the place, indeed we question very much whether half of the ministry know whether Apia is a port or an inland town, and there would have to be a special Samoan Department, and a nice lot of billets for impecunious political crawlers thcro would be,. and what a lovely scramble for those samo billots we should witness.

The Union Company are talking of running a special boat to Western Australia with a view to making a few pounds out of the Coolgardio craze. Very well as an enterprising move but if New Zealanders tako our tip, they’ll stop where they are. It’s a beastly climate, no rain, no water, and the sandy blight, and the flies, and the mosquitoes nuisances are in full force, and although lots of good claims have been found, “ it’s not all gold that glitters.” Already stories of great hardships and-bitter dis. appointments aro being poured into tlio Melbourne and Sydney papers. ‘Think twice before you go to Coolgardie. Remember Kimberley.

When is the fino Assembly library to be put into a condition of safety ? It’s a public scandal that this magnificent and most valuable collection should be housed in a tumble down old wooden shanty, which might be burned down any day. If instead of wasting thousands in making a desert of the gardens in front of the Par. liamentary Buildings, the Government had pulled down the library section of the Buildings, and built anewplaceinbrick, they Avculd have done far better.

We hopo the agitation for air enquiry into the new evidence in the Chenris case will not be allowed to drop in spite of the Premier’s recent letter to Mr. Charles Mills, the energetic member for Waimea-Picton. Chemis may be guilty, but there are thousands of sensible men and women who firmly believe he is innocent, and as it is claimed, and indeed, proved, that new evidence can be brought forward in his favour, an enquiry into this evidenco ought certainly to be authorised. We heartily sympathise with Mr. Mills in the effort he has made and is making to get justice done to a man whom he believes to be inuocent, and despite the sneers of the Post which seems to have a particular set on the popular “ Charlie,” we hope he’ll stick to his selfappointed task and bring up the.matter in the new Parliament.

Colonel Fox is not the sort of man to make many friends in the colonies. He wears a halo of high-breeding and his haughty manner gives one an idea that he would rule with a rod of iron and chastise with scorpions. All the same, we believe him to be a good soldier, a well-meaning and perfectly harmless kind of fellow—when you know him. But in the words of the song “ You’ve got to know him fust.”

It has been decided to accept an offer of the New Zealand Electrical Syndicate for lighting the Parliamentary Buildings and the Government Offices. We believe an attempt was made by the Government to manufacture its own electric light, but it was found that the Syndicate’s supply would come much cheaper. The General Post Office is fitted up for electric light, but where, oh where is the light ? Why, oh why have they fallen back on the gas-light? Two short months ago the building was resplendent with the coming illumination, and the gasaliers hung from the ceilings in a melancholy half-ashamed sort of way. But genial Dr. Lemon’s system of electric lighting didn’t work smoothly. There was occasional flickering, a monotonous thump-thump of tbe gas engine which generated the current, and gusts of incense compared with which the perfumes of Arabia were “not in it.” Shall we disclose the secret ? The gas engine aforesaid is of primeval make, and consumes about as much gas as would light the whole blamed building. Hence the usurpation and re-instating of gas. But the system is all right and reflects no discredit on Dr. Lemon. The Post Office authorities would do well on economic and public grounds to kick out that ancient gas engine and negotiate for a supply of current from the Electrical Syndicate. By the way, when the Parliament Buildings have got the new light on, we hope the consumption of gas will be reduced in more ways than one.

At last the fiat has gone forth that proper accommodation shall be provided for the Laud and Survey Department. A* present all the odd nooks and corners in and about the Government. Buildings are occupied by the officers, artists and workmen of this department. The addition which is to be made to the Government Prhiting Office will bring together the scattered fragments, and the increased conveniences and facilities will> assuredly, mean an increased saving annually, sufficient, in the course of a few years, to entirely wipe out the build - ing debt.

Dr. Bakewell, my friend, you’ve been a-going of it hot and strong in the Nineteenth Century. He doesn’t like w'omon’s franchise in Maoriland. Frinstans: —■“ It seems to be the general opinion that. . . the colony is now committed for three years to a course of extreme Radical legislation. . . . We must trust to beer and the banks to save us from absolute ruin. The newly-elected are nearly all, with one or two exceptions, of the most uneducated class .... either the lowest bourgeois or mere carpet-baggers. They have displaced men of education and experience. Such are the results of female franchise. It is to be hoped that it will be a warning to English Conservatives. We shall probably, for some years to come, be a dreadful object-lesson to the rest of the British Empire.” H’m. The present is black, the future blacker—according to the gospel of Bakewell It’s a pity for the sake of the doctor’s argument that the credit of the “ dreadful objectlesson” the wide world over never, stood higher, and its prospects were never more rosy. Go to, doctor —try a blue pill.

“ The Assyrians came down like the wolf on the fold.” The Taderi Advocate is alarmed. Thus :—“ We have frequently met hawkers of all nations and colours in tho Taieri district, and we realised that with such opposition the white man must rise early and get to business right away. Assyrians, Hindoos, Cingalese, Chinese, and Negroes all occasionally make this district their hunting ground, and appear to do a satisfactory amount of business. Now the white man will have to compete with his coloured brother in the harvest field, for the other day we saw four powerful Japanese—suspiciously like runaway sailors, with then- sea-boots on—swagging through the district, and seeking work in the harvest field and elsewhere.” Since we admit the Chinese, tho Cingalese, and the Devilese (the professional swaggers) to competitive rights in labour, why shut the gates on the harmless Assyrians, the beautiful-eyed Hindoos, and the necessary Niggers ?

An Australian contemporary thinks “ in accounting for the present prosperity of Maoriland it would be unfair to overlook the ‘ tote.’ Through its agency the money spent on racing is returned to the people instead of keeping bookmakers to parade their wealth and make thegrand tour ’Ome." The “ tote” is not, in our opinion, an unmixed blessing. It would be nice if it could be so arranged that more of the.mov.ey invested in racing would be returned to the people. Last month in one district of New Zealand, within the space of a week, £25,000 was put through the idolised “ tote.” Deducting 10 per cent the machine swallowed up .£2,500. But we shall show that the appetite of the machine is not satisfied with a 10 per cent mouthful. At the meetings referred to, although £25,000 was put through the machine, it was computed by an expert that at most not more than £6,000 was actually invested. Tho money was put through over and over again, thus producing the artificial amount of £25,000. Now as only £6,000 was actually invested, and as the “ tote” absorbed £2,500, it follows that “ the people ” got back a little more than half the capital invested. In other words the machine devoured a fraction over per cent of the money brought to the course,

Tho 'Wellington Bishopric is still going a-begging at ’Oino, Sad, isn’t it, to think that Now Zealand hasn’t a decent cleric to wear those gaiters ? In tho opinion of tho Synod tho olllcu is an appallingly momentous one, but tho importance of tho position is not measured by the stipend. It i.s the popular wish that tho Bishop-hunting at ’Ohio will ovt n yet bo abandoned, and that those responsible will show their good sense by selecting Bishop Hadlield’s successor from tho ranks of the Now Zealand clerics.

The Salvation Army was amongst tho first.purclmsors of township allotments at Coolgardio. It is stated that Booth is sweet on West Australia for dumping a colony of tho “submerged tenth.”

Mr. W. E. Abbott, the well-known pastoraliat of Wingon, and a brother of Sir Joseph Abbott, speaker of tho Victorian Legislative Assembly, has just returned to Melbourne after « trip through New Zealand made with tho object of fossicking out information on tho almighty meat question. Ho told an interviewer that the object of his inquiries was to find out whether there was anything special in the sheep different from New South Wales, and whether sheep could not, on natural grasses, be produced of equal quality at an equal or loss cost. Mr. Abbott is satisfied that sheep, equal to Canterbury long wools, can bo produced in tho eastern and central districts of New South Wales, at 30 por cent, less cost. Speaking of tho improvements in freezing appliances, ho states that the largest and most successful freezing company in Belfast, near Christchurch, has just discarded tho dry air process and adopted the Hall’s carbonic anhydride system, thus converting the enormously exponsivo machinery which they had before been using into so much waste iron. He was informed by an engineer who had much to do with tho sotting up and working the olde-t systems that every freezing company in Now Zoalahdjyould have to do the same or shut up shop in the coarse of a few years. In which case there will be an increased trado in old iron I ‘