STRAIGHT TALK

Fair Play, Volume I, Issue 19, 10 March 1894, Page 1

STRAIGHT TALK

An effort is being made just now to raise sufficient money to pay off the bank overdraft of the Melanesian mission- ‘ FairPlay’ wishes success to the movement. The Melanesian mission is a thoroughly genuine affair. Its work is carried on amongst the bloodthirsty savages of the Solomon and New Hebrides Islands, where the missionary stands a daily chance of being clubbed and converted.into “ long pipfl” They are ill paid, live si nply, and never amass riches in the way of copra and other vendible produce—as do so many of the. ,good men who have laboured in the eastern islands. Bishop Selwyn, son of our Bishop Selwyn, retired about eighteen months ago,, but his successor has now been appointed in the person of the Rev. Cecil W ilson, who leaves a pleasant and wealthy cure near pretty Bournemouth in Devonshire for the fever laden atmosphere and savage life in Melanesia. He is a man after Selwyn’s stamp—a muscular Christian, who is a grand swimmer and a fine athlete generally, and being young, full of health and vigour, and thoroughly devoted to the work, ought to be a model Bishop. There is, however, a debt of <£looo on the mission, and it is hoped to clear this off before the new bishop comes out. He is to be consecrateu in June next.

A well-known and popular Auckland athlete, Mr. Hubie Dacre, has been transferred to the Wellington branch of the Mutual Life Association, and is mow amongst us. Although only 22, Mr. Dacre is a fine all round man. He was prominent in Auckland rowing, .was a representative in football and swimming, is a good man on the cycle, and a good distance runner. He should certainly be a great ’acquisition to Wellington athletics.

That terriblo fraud, Kato Marsdon, the lady who makes such a comfortable living out of .the lopor roscuo business, is reported to have gone to St. Petersburg again, wlioro sho is the guest of a princess and will be mado much of. Kato, yoars ago, was a nurso at the Wellington hospital. She is a handsomo woman with n way peculiarly her own of hypnotising woalthy gentlemen into assisting her dear lepers and filling Rato's pockot at the same time. By some clover impudonce sho once managed to get into the good graces of tho Duchess of Took (May’s mamma) and that fat scion of royalty having taken hor up, Kate's fortune was made. She now poses as a sort of female Damien, but is not such a fool as to shut hcrsolf up in a lepor colony, but prefers to lecture and collect subscriptions—especially tho latter. The exact amount of tho monoy raised that goos 'to tho lepers, has, however, never been ascertained.

Tom Bracken, our Now Zealand poot, is back again in Wellington where he will take up tho position of Registrar of Electors, which the Government havo givon him, no doubt as some faint—very faint—recognition of tho many services rendered to the Liberal cause by tho genial Paddy Murphy. Mr. Bracken has suffered a good deal from ill health, but we hopo to see him-soon his old jolly self once more.

We are sorry to hoar that Archbishop Redwood has suffered very heavy financial loss over that ill starred vonturo, tho Catholic Times, tho amount being stated by somo as being £4OOO or £sooo—that is, of course, sinco tho paper started. The archbishop is a fine fellow and it seems a sharao that hfc paper was not better supported. Bad editing had a good doal to do -with the ill success of the venture.

< Talking about the Catholic bishops, 1 it is not generally known that Dr. Luck, the Catholic Bishop of Auckland, comes ot a. Protestant family. His parents were Protestant, but his father,.Mien a widower, “verted” to-Borne, and became;a priest. Bishop Luck has two brothers who are priests, and fpW sisters, who are all nuns.

KIRKCALDIE AND STAINS’ CIIICKET CLUB. We are pleased to note and applaud the action of the principal drapers in Wellington in endeavouring to foster amongst their employees such healthy outdoor sports as will afford a natural foil to the sedentary and indoor life their calling forces upon them. In publishing the above group of cricketers, all of whom are either employees of, or members of the firm of Messrs Kirkcaldie and Stains, we are simply endeavouring to encourage a movement which we hope will become even more wide-spread in the future. On the establishing of the half-holiday abouu a year ago Messrs Ivirkcaldie and Stains were the first to put into practical operation the forming of cricket clubs by the different big drapers’ houses. Then’ action was approved by the other big firms, and both the D.I.C. and Te Aro House joined with them in the effort to promote the game. It was soon seen, however, that the smaller houses could not furnish adequate teams, so it was agreed to divide the city into districts and allow members of the different retail houses to form combination clubs. This idea proved a most successful one, and resulted in the formation of the “ Cuba Street Bovers,’’ and the “ Thorndon Opens.” The Draper’s Association, which was rapidly formed after the scheme had once been started, agreed that a number of games should be played during the season, and as on additional incentive Messrs Downs and Turner offered a handsome cup as a prize to the successful team. The season is now nearly drawing to a close, and up to the present time the team from Messrs. Kirkcaldie and Stains’

have played eight games with six to their credit as against two lost. They have two more games to play, one with Te Aro House and the other with the Cuba Street Bovers. The captain of the team which appears above, Mr. J. Dawson, is an old English cricketer, and before coming to the colonies was presented by his confreres in the “ Old Country” with a bat for good cricket play. During the season he has divided the bowling honours with Mr. Gray, the latter gentleman having made the bt,st batting record, his average being 26 per match. The elder Mr. 'Kirkcaldie has taken the greatest interest in the club since its inception, and has on several occasions given ample evidence of his generosity and kindly feeling towards the institution.

A record! The lease of a run of 57,000 acres on the slopes of Mount Aspiring, Wanaka district, was disposed of the other day at Dunedin at .£lO a year! Ten pounds for the rent of 57,000 acres. What awful country it must be to be sure !

The meanest woman in all England is a snobbish female, who, hearing that the money subscribed by the sailors of the Mediterranean squadron,to purchase a present for the “Yorks” had gone down in the All-fated Victoria, actually had the cheek to write to the press demanding that the lost testimonial to the “ Yorks ” shall be deducted from the Victoria fund, the amount raised by the nation for the widows ard orphans of the dead mariners. For meanness and grovel combined her suggestion surely beats the record,

They 6ay up at the Big Buildings that the Premier has lately been spending all his spare time studying Maori, in view of the tour he is now making through the interior of the North Island. If Richard the Fourth has only taken with him a few bottles of good whisky and a stock of Juno baccy—and is liberal with them —he’ll get on right with them. Kaipai te Premier—who shouts liberally.

The Dunedin Star says:—“ The Wellington Evening Press has gone democratic,” It has not “ gone ” anything of the kind. It has “ gone ” mad, and, strange as it may seem, seeing the Prohibitionists have got it, will probably go bung.

The Napier Telegraph sneers at Mr. Labouchere as a valorous-penny-a-liner. The D.T. man would probably go on the D.T. if he got a fiftieth part of what “ Labby ” gets out of his paper. Penny-a-liner indeed—guinea-a-liner is nearer the the mark.

A Wellington young married woman had a peculiar dream the other evening. She dreamed that she with her baby was preparing to get into a tram. The step of the tram was rather high, and she requested a gentleman to hold her baby while she got in. He consented, but before he could return the infant to the arms of its mother, the tram started and left without the child. The grief of the young woman was intense, and so troubled was her mind that she awoke. Her relief at finding it all a dream was so great that she decided to buy a book on dreams and learn what it all signified. On turning to the index she found that such a dream as she experienced foretold that the dreamer would receive twice as much as she had lost- “ What should I get,” she said to a male friend innocently, “ that would be twice as much to me as my baby ? ” “ Twins,” said her friend laconically, and she has not spoken to him since.

The other day a Tasmanian cable told us how one Normoylo had shot a man named Knight, whom he had surprised on v clandestine visit to his Normoyle’s wife. Normoyle simply carried out Dumas the younger's theory of tuc la■ kill on the spot. He was formerly a clerk in a Hobart branch of the An glo -Ans tr alian bank and was thirty-six years of age. The man he killed, one Knight by name, was himself a married man with three children. Normoyle got two years, the judge evidently sympathising with him. Normoyle did not exactly catch Knight in flagrante delicto but it was near it—very near it.

Miss Flora Shaw, the Times correspondent, who made such a hurried tour of the colony, recently delivered a lecture at the Colonial Institute. The fair Flora said “ that the great want of Australian Society is young unmarried women.” Not a bit of it, what are wanted are young unmarried men who are anxious and can afford to marry. At present the marriage rate in Australia is ten’ibly low. The fact is that the average Edwin hasn’t a brass farthing of ready cash, and can’t think of asking Angelina to share his life.

A paper dollar —nominal value a trifle over four bob, real value under two bob—will buy 1000 cigars in Paraguay. Some of the “New Australians” have already given up the modest dhudeen of their youth, and now “ toff'’ smokers of the “give me a cigah 5 kann’t stand these beastly pipes, haw,” are style.

Wait a bit, they'll soon find it hard to got hold ovon of a paper

dollar, and will be glad enough to dry their own bacca in the sun, and roll and out it themselves; and a ohunk of good old Barrett’s Twist will be a luxury to be dreamt of, not realised.

Our old friend Baron Munohausen—we beg pardon, we should say Captain Jackson Barry—has again bobbed up serenely solioiting publio patronage and attention, On Monday evening he delivered himself of a leoture at the Skating Rink, entitled, “ Bribery, Corruption and Conspiracy.” It was advertised that His Highness, the Baron, or rather EKs Excellency tho Captain, would moke some “ startling revelations; ’* ho certainly justified the advertisement, both in tho brief rosumo of his owm life as a colonist and in somo of tho assertions ho made with reference to the late election. Wo would bo ploased to give our readers a brief summary of his remarks, but unfortunately the libel law of this colony is, “notto put too fino a point upon it," peculiar, and—wo refrain.

Happy, joyous England, what a wonder it is that thoro should be any discontented people in such a prosperous Christian land! Now read this: At the Maidenhead Borough Polieo Court, on January 2, before Mr. E. R. Lovogrovo, William Wing, charged with sleeping out on Christmas night in a tub used as a dog kennel, was sent to prison for seven days. Poor devil! To be reduced to the necessity of passing Christmas night in a tub used as a dog kennel and then go to gaol for seven days for having committed such a terrible crime. Could you blame William Wing if he bought a pound of dynaraito and sent the inhuman Lovegrove to Heaven—or somewhere else ? We couldn’t!

The Bulletin is really wonderfully iugonious in its smacks at Dibbs and Parkes. A big dam is urgently wanted at Coolgardie, and the Bulletin says Dibbs ought to go thoro at once. “ Dibbs can do it every time," says the Bulletin. .This, of course, is a happy hit at the big big D, thrown at Chicago people on a famous occasion. Then, here again is a specimen of this porverted genius, with which tho Bulletin can turn anything and everything against its old eneipy, Sir Honry Parkes:—“ In China political eminence is reserved for mon who can writo elegant verses,” says a Nineteenth Century writer. Tho Bulletin long ago contended that there was a groat opening for Parkes in China. And this, seeing that Parkos is a bit—a very little bit—of a poet in_his way, is very noatly put.

The Social Reform lunatics aro busy in South Australia, where a boy of fourteen has been sent to prison and sentenced to be birched for kissing a girl of his own ago. Tho police havo been instructed to put down the pernicious surpriso packots of lollies, because there is “an elcmont of the gambling curse in them” —presumably in tho fact that in ono packet of a hundred there is a tin lion or a brass ring, or some other awful frivolity. The next thing to bo put down in virtuous bouth Australia will no doubt be the vicious game of marbles, and the total prohibition of the criminal pastime of leap-frog. Tho Wellington social reformers, who are so anxious about the morals of tho community, will no doubt follow the godly examplo sot in South Australia, a pious land, whore there are more dirty c rimes and also more hypocrisy to tho square inch than in any other part of Australia,

The portrait of Miss Hill, which appears above, will prove familiar to most of onr readers who are interested in art and music. As an artist, Miss Hill has made a name for herself in New Zealand, and she is also favourably known for her musical ability. The lady was born in Auckland in 1872, and entered the Technical School as a student in 1886. Here her natural talent for drawing and painting was carefully cultivated, with the most successful results. Besides prizes and certificates gained at the school, she has been awarded three National Book prizes, two Third Grade prizes, and an Art Class Teacher’s certificate at the South Kensington School of Art. In 1892, Miss Hill was awarded a bronze medal at the Auckland Exhibition for a painting of a group of Maori curios, and recently she won the Dresden Co.’s gold medal for the best composition of a landscape, the competition being in connection with the Wellington Art Club. At the last Wellington Annual Exhibition, she gained the Society’s prize of £3 Bs. for a head from life (in colour.) The competition was open for all. Miss Hill has but lately returned from Dunedin bringing a number of sketches with her, one of which gained the Art Club President’s prize for the best sketch done during the holidays. When Miss Hill left Wellington for her holidays, she took with her a portrait colours of Mr. C. P. Hulbert,

one time Mayor of Christchurch. The picture which was put on exhibition at Christchurch was afterwards presented by the fair artist to the original. She is at present engaged on a portrait in water colours of Mr. J. A. X. Kiedle, of Dunedin. Miss Hill is an assistant teacher at the Technical School and Drawing Mistress at Mrs McDonnell’s Ladies Collegiate School. With reference to her musical ability, it would be strange if a sister of Mr. Alfred Hill were not musically inclined. She will be recollected as taking part in Mr. Jones’ opera, the “ Monarch of Utopia,” and also as having sung at several concerts in Wellington. While in Dunedin Miss Hill sang at a concert given in the Garrison Hall with great success. Personally, Miss Hill is a charming, sprightly young lady, who seems to have caught the grace of her art and embodied it in her own individuality.

Various statements have been made as to the high wages alleged to have been earned by the men employed on certain Government co-operative works. When it was publicly stated that as much as 17s per day was averaged by individual members of a gang, the Labor Department explained that the amount mentioned included that due on previous contracts, for which the men had been underpaid. Aprojios a ‘ Fair Play ’ contributor writes:—“ A man employed on the co-operative works at Waikawa (Otago) recently proved to me that for more than a fortnight the members of his gang averaged 16s 6d per day. They could, he said, have earned as much as 19s per day, but after the first fortnight deemed it advisable to earn ordinary wages and thus prolong the contract. The man was neither boasting nor exaggerating, for he possessed documentary evidence which was more' than sufficient to prove the truthfulness of his assertion. Truly modern liberalism is liberal indeed!”

Some months back Dunedin—austere, sober-going, respectable Dunedin—received a severe shock when one of her gilded youths, after damages had been given against him as co-respon-dent in a divorce suit, suddenly left for unknown parts. It was at first thought that the petitioner, who had closely watched the disturber of his domestic bliss after the decision of the Court, had been badly left for his money; but the young man adopted a somewhat original method of squaring matters, with the (to him) satisfactory result that certain “interested parties” interceded, and now the young man proceedeth on the even tenor of his ways.

Considerable dissatisfaction exists among members of that body yclept the Otago Central Railway League at the financial juggling of King Dick over the amount expended on that hope of Otagoans—the Central railway. The Premier claims that the gross expenditure during the year has been £54,816, which exceeds the amount, which he alleges was voted, by £9,816. On the other hand it is contended that the amount authorised for actual expenditure was £45,000, while liabilities to the amount of £15,000 were also authorised, total £60,000. The £15,000 is due for liabilities that have been incurred, £29,497 of the £45,000 has been expended, leaving an unexpended balance of £15,503. Several of the southern members have been burning midnight oil, and making a special study of the subject, so that Premier Seddon will have his work cut out to soothe the ruffled feelings of the Otago representatives.

Some people do take things literally. For instance, last Sunday night the following conversation is reported to have taken place outside a well-known Wellington church. “What a pity you weren't at church to-night,” “ Such a fine night, my dear, but have I missed something good ?” “Oh yes, Mr. interested the ladies much more than usual.” “ Really, how was that ?” “ Oh, he preached about ‘ putting on righteousness as a garment,’ and wo were all wondering how it would look.”

f jiaz Another church story tolcT of the Rev. Warm Tea and a young lady who belongs to St. Snarlc’s, and had recently become engaged to a young gentleman who doesn’t. She wishes him to sit under the Rev. Warm Tea. The young fellow objects. “ But your parson is such a bigoted fellow. I can’t stand him at any price.” “ Oh, George, dear, why he’s not bigoted at all. He’s most broad-minded, he believes that even Dissenters can bo saved if they join the church !” What, George replied to this crushing example of ‘ broad-minded men’ is not recorded.”

Young Harold Thomson, son of our old Mend Inspector Thomson, and the game young fellow who put an end to the mad freaks of Wallatk, the Taranaki highwayman, has been appointed clerk in the Wellington Resident Magistrate's Court. A plucky lad—and one who well deserved promotion.

Yet another candidate is spoken of for the Waitemata seat. This is Hugh Shortland, who will advocate law reform. Ho is shortly to deliver a series of free lectures on “ Civil and Criminal Law Reform.” Is this the same Shortland who had a libel action against the Auckland Observer, and afterwards took up a temporary residence in Mount Eden gaol ?

Young English “ sassiety” gMs are “ going” it as Charley Middlewick says in “Our Boys,” and no mistake. The latest craze is to be photographed as “ undraped classical and pictorial celebrities, mid noddings on,” eh !. Canter, in a London paper, says, “ This is really a fact. It came out by my wife chancing to come across, among my daughters’ treasures, two of these cartes purporting to be taken from pictures of Andromeda and Aspasia, but which to the experienced eye were evidently from life, and turned out to be actual photos of my two girls, posed as in the original pictures. On pressure they admitted the fact, and pleaded as an excuse that hundreds did it, and that it was quite the fashion in Society circles for a girl to have an album of different presentments of herself as the original of celebrated subjects. I should like to have a hand in putting down this fashion, and of mentioning the means employed in this case as a suggestion only to others under similar circumstances. My wife, who is nothing if not practical, lost no time in fashioning a highly-persuasive and very insinuating birch rod, and with it so ably and forcibly illustrated the dangers and disadvantages of nudity that I have no doubt both damsels fully recognised them, and will be unwilling to incur them in the future.”

Sydney Newsboy: “ Suckin ’deershun 1 Full account of the great robberree!” Stockbroker (to well-known Sydney politician): “Hello! What is the great robbery he's howling about ?” Politician: “ Well, I dunno, except it is another bank that can't pay its creditors has declared a dividend.”

Havo the Presbyterian clorgymon in and around Dunedin suddenly developed a weaknoss for racing ? Wednesday, Feb. 21, was set apart os a day upon which ‘they wero to meet and discuss tho interesting subjeot of aggressive religion; but when Dunedin Cup day arrived verily thoy were present only in tho spirit. And now the bookmakers, as they oxpeotorato in front of the Grand Hotel, Dunedin, await the homing of tho seokers after truth with impatience, having faith that, to quote Walter Bentloy, “ Pulpit and stage (and judge's box) shall yot bo considered one.”

It is statod by the moVo or less veracious cabloman that Lord Rosebery is to marry tho Duchess of Albany, the widow of Princo Leopold, tho invalid scion of tho Guelph who had only one skin and who, though a roally ostimablo young follow, was never fit to marry. Rosebery is first fnvourito for tho Premiership Stakes, ox-Gladstono, broken down, and is a wealthy and popular peor. Ho married Lady Hannah Rothschild and got pots of shekels with that lady. Ho is a round-faced, clean shaven, boyish-looking man, nearly fifty, with a big political future before him. Tho “ Rads. ” don’t like him much, for ho’s not ovor solid on somo of tho ultra democratic planks.

As will have boon scon by tho cables, “Labby,” who is chief boss of the English Radicals now-a-days, is strongly against Rosebery, simply because ho is a lord and tho Truth oditor doesn’t consider that tho Liberal Premier should bo in tho Upper House. Discussing possibility of Gladstone’s rotiromont, “ Labby ’’ wrote as follows, bo rccontly as January 4:—“ I am no boliover in “ necessary men,” and I havo little doubt that the world will progress much as it doos now when we aro all in our graves. But probably Mr. Gladstone’s withdrawal from public affairs would temporarily woakon tho Liberal Party, for his marked personality is an assett. What I said about his retirement was rather in his own interest than in that of tho Liberal Party. People do not realise what it is to bo at onco Primo Minister and Loader of tho Houso of Commons. Tho Tories havo met this of late by taking tho Proraior from tho Houso of Lords. Thoy suffered from this arrangement, for tho House- of. Commons is not easily led by an usher. With tho Liberals such a plan would, of course, be impossible, unless indeed the Premier wero a mere ‘ fetch and carry ’ Peer, and tho Leader of tho Commons were the real master of tho Cabinet. Liberals|havc made up their minds that tho Lords must go; and for the chief man in a Cabinet to bo in the Lords would bo to recognise that tho so-callod Lower Houso is in reality a Lower House.” “ Labby " dislikes Rosebery for two things. Rosebery believes we should remain in Egypt and not “ scuttlo ” out of it—also he backs up Cecil Rhodes, and the Matabelo business. Rosebery is too strong for “ Labby.”

We hear that the police arc taking steps to clear out a lot of the demi mondmnes from Wellington. It was high time they did, for the city simply teems with dirty trulls, who should half of them be inmates of a look hospital if we had any sensible regard for the health of our young men. But when oro we to see a prosecution under the Disorderly house bye-law recently passed by the City Council ? Let the landlords of these vile places have, their names set forth before the public gaze. A few such prosecutions and the “ bad houses ” would speedily be reduced in number.