LOCAL AND GENERAL

Patea Mail, Volume XLVI, 10 September 1923, Page 2

LOCAL AND GENERAL

Particulars of train arrangements and issue of excursion fares to Wanganui in connection with Races on 13th and .loth instants arc advertised in, this issue. In London they arc discussing the question; What is a club? The best answer was given by the Bishop of Loudon years ago. He said that a club was a place where the women cease from troubling and the wicked are at rest. ‘One of the most unfortunate Spoonerisms over allowed to slip from human tongue was that of a shy young curate lunching for the ‘first time with the great lady of his parish. “Will you have pears or figs?" ho was asked, apd responded, “Pigs, fleas."

A classic essay, lately immortalised in type in the “Bulletin” of the Chicago Board of Education, is about frogs, and was written by a young Norwegian. The essay runs; “What a wonderful bird the frog arc! When ho stand he sit almost. When he hop he fly almost. Ho ain't got no sense, hardly. Ho ain't got no tail, hardly, cither; when he sit he sit on what ho ain't got almost,''

Addressing a gathering of London County Council teachers, Lord Robert Cecil observed that it used to be said that the hand that rocked the cradle ruled the world. “I am not quite sure that that is not out of date,'' he added. “I am told that nobody docs rock a cradle nowadays, and that if they did they would probably get into trouble with the hygienic authorities. I think the hand that marks the blackboard rules the world.”

A Manawatu dairy factory has received an offer of 18§d for first-grade butter, f.o.b. Wellington, to obtain until the cud-of the September make. “This offer, ” remarked the secretary of the company to a “Standard” reporter, “is most encouraging, and although we cannot foretell the prices that will rule later in the season, it certainly looks as though good ones -will be realised for the next month or so, at least.”

Tiic enormous advantage that can be gained by introducing “brains" into the management of a concern was exemplified this year by the Mastertou Co-op. Dairy Company (says the : “ \Vairarapa Times"). 'The company’s shipments of butter at a certain period were selling in England at 1-12/- and 111/- per cut. The directors sent a cable to hold up the sale of their butter until the market was more favourable. This was done, with the result that the remainder of the butter realised 170/per cwt.

The opinion has been advanced that the letter “c” is the most unfortunate letter in the English alphabet, because it is always out of cash, forever in debt, nevfer out of danger, and in hell all the time. It is fortunate in that it is never in war and always in peace. It is the beginning of existence, the commencement of case, and the end of trouble. Without it there would be no meat, no life, and no heaven. It is the centre of honesty, and makes love perfect. It also starts off in error, and printing, publishing, typography, and lithography can get along without it, although it is necessary in elcctroCpbig, engraving and typefounding. It is the beginning and the end of editorial existence.—“ Type,"

A girl for housework is enquired for in this issue.

A reliable three-seatcr Buick car Is offered for sale iu this issue.

An advertiser requires a light spring cart horse, also spring dray and harness

Messrs Gibsons, Ltd., have an important advertisement in this issue with regard to their first two Shipments of Spring drapery that are ndw to hand.

A reminder is given of the Annual Meet of the Patou Coursing Club, to be held at Plurapton Park to-morrow. All arrangements are well in hand, and two good days' sport should be enjoyed.

The mauagament of the World's Pictures have very kindly consented to put on a special picture entitled “School Days," for the benefit of the local school, which is badly in need of funds to carry on its work of improving the school grounds. Al] who sympathise with the Committee in their efforts to keep the school grounds in good order are asked to assist by taking a ticket for the screening.