THE LATEST HOWLERS

Patea Mail, Volume XLVI, 29 August 1923, Page 3

THE LATEST HOWLERS

Where are Kings of England crowned'?—On their heads! This was one of several of the latest schoolboy howlers related by Mr Ludford Freeman, Director of Education for Bristol. Other examination papers were:—

An optimist is a man who looks after your eyes; a pessimist looks after your feet. The feminine of Tsar is sardine . A circle is a line of no depth running round a dot for ever. The chief clause in the Magna Charta was that no free man should bo put to death without his own consent. R.S.V.P. stands for Royal Society for Verminc Protection. Guerilla warfare moans “up to their monkey tricks.” The wife of a duko is a ducky. Solomon had 300 wives and 700 cucumbers. Common Entrance Examiuatioa ta well-known public school. —Question; Give the names of the parents oil Jonah? —Answer (boy of -3): Ho had none. He was brought up by a whale. The boys of St. Briavels, in Gloucester, were recently asked by their master to put certain passages of Shakespeare into their own words, with results of extraordinary felicity. Here are two examples:—“John of Gaunt: ‘Am dying, my lord.’ Richard: ‘For God’s sake, die, then,’ (He dies).” ‘ ‘ Caesar (finding that it is Brutus who has stabbed him): ‘Tut, tut, Brutus.’ ”