Wellington May 14th 1852 My darling Donald I was dreadfully dull when I got home yesterday. Everything about the house seemed changed and I could neither read or sew. I could do nothing but think of my dear husband. Mr & Mrs Kirton came to see me and I was quite thankful they did so as it made the evening pass quicker then it would have done had we been alone. I went to bed whenever they left but I could not sleep well as [it] rained so heavy and I fretted because I thought my dear owl would have to travel in bad weather. Today I have been in very fidgetty humour. I could not get on with my work at all but this will not do. I shall never get on with my work at this rate so I am determined to commence in earnest tomorrow and give up fretting how much I wish I was with you. It is a great shame in Doctor Featherstone to forbid me. I am sure it would have done me no harm. I could not be ill with my dear husband beside me. Miss Hart walked nearly all the way home with me. She was talking to me about this unfortunate business of Wednesday night. She says that ever since then her mother has been against the marriage. She does not know what the cause of the change is as she was quite agreeable to it at first. Miss Hart told me that it will all end in nothing as she will not do anything to displease her mother and that now she and Mr Park must meet only as friends. She says that she is blamed for having taken that walk which is a great shame as they only did what any other lovers would have done. It is that stupid Robert Hart who is to blame for the whole and I believe it is him who has persuaded Mrs Hart to fret. It is very cruel to use his poor sister in this way. She seems to feel it very much. I asked her to come and stay with me for a few days. She said she would but only she feared to displease those at home and she would require to take care what she does. I feel very much for her. I wish it could be settled but she seems to think there is no chance of it. It is very vexing that it is talked of so much here. Every one seems to believe that they are to be married soon. I wish love you had not mentioned it to Mr Pelichet. If you hear it spoken of by any one do not say pet that there is any truth in it. Remember love that Miss Hart told all this in confidence so you must say nothing to Mr Park about it. I must now bid you goodnight. May God bless and keep you my darling husband and bring you back in safety to your affectionate wife. Saturday night I have spent a rather more pleasant day than I did yesterday. I find nothing will prevent me wearying so much as being busy. I have done more today than I have done for a long time besides having a walk with Papa. I hope you have reached Rangitikei by this time and I trust nothing will detain you long there. I am so anxious to have my darling husband home again and I am sure my dear owl cannot be happy away from his pussy. I have not seen Miss Hart since the day you left. She was to have been up yesterday to go with me to call for Mrs Stephens but the bad weather prevented her. Poor girl I am sure she is much to be pitied. I wish she could come and stay with me for a few days. I think she is very fond of Mr Park. When he came in to bid his goodbye the instant she saw him her face became scarlet. Had I heard nothing about it I should have known she liked him. Poor Mrs Stokes seems daily getting worse. I saw her today. Much from her appearance I fear she has not long to live. When I saw her I had great difficulty to in preventing myself crying. She reminded me so much of poor Mama. I am afraid her complaint is the same. She always seem glad to see me. I must try more to let no day pass without seeing her. Dr Forbes has come back at last. How glad his wife must be. News has come from home by the Rambler that war is expected between France and England and that London to be fortified. Do you think it will effect us here. I should be afraid we shall not have so much communication with home if there is war. I must now bid you good night my darling Donald. I shall not add more to this letter on Monday morning as it is castor oil day and I shall not get up in time to write before Papa goes. I trust I shall hear from you by some opportunity early in the week. I send you a hundred kisses. God bless you my dearest husband and believe me ever your affectionate wife Susan D McLean