Mum, bathroom scales to go with the diet programme, and a photograph of B.B. Henare, Ruiha and Rona. Mōhio ana aku tamariki kāore ahau e tino mōhio ki te kōrero Pākehā, kātahi ka tuhituhi mai rātou i roto i te reo o tauiwi. Taku mōhio he weita tēnei, ko te whakahua tēnei o B.B. Ka tatū aku whakaaro me haere ahau ki te tākuta. Taku taenga atu ki te tākuta, ka pātai mai me he aha taku pīrangi. Ka kimi ahau i te ingoa tika mō ngā pire whakaitiiti iho i ahau, kāore au e kite. Ka kī atu au, ‘Ngā Pills’, ka wheni iho aku ringa i mua i taku puku i hiki haere nei au mō e whā tau. Tata ana ka taka mai ngā karu o te tākuta, kātahi ka pātai mai ki aku tau. He aha rā te take o te pātai? Ka weriweri ahau ki ahau anō i taku kāore whakarongo ki aku tamariki; pēnei, kua riro mā rātou ahau e hari mai ki te rata. Nā, kua kore ahau e mōhio he aha he kōrero māku. Ka tīmata anō te tākuta rā ki te kōrero. E kōrero ana mō ngā wāhine kāore e pīrangi ana ki te hapū pepe anō. He aha rā te take o te tākuta rā i kōrero ai mō ngā wāhine hapū? Kua mutu noa atu taku whiwhi pepe. Mehemea ka tika te haere o aku māhanga, o Henare rānei, kāore e roa ka whiwhi ahau i tētehi mokopuna māku. Ka kata atu ahau ki te tākuta, ka kī atu ahau, ‘A, goodbye!’ Ki a wai tērā, kua āhua mōhio noa iho ahau ki te reo Pākehā, ēngari kua whakamā ahau ināianei. Taku putanga ki waho ko te wahine o Moaho e tū ana. Ka kōrero atu ahau i taku haerenga ki te tākuta. Ka kī mai te wahine rā, ‘Haere mai, māku koe e hari.’ Ka haere māua ki roto anō i te whare o te tākuta, ka kōrero atu te wahine rā ki te tākuta mō aku pire. Ka kata mai te tākuta, ka oti pai taku hiahia. ētehi rangi, ka koma rawa taku kai ka piki aku pāuna, ā, ka āta haere te kai. ētehi rangi, ka pēnei ahau, hei aha tēnei mahi, ka whakaaro anō ahau ki a B.B., ki tana whakaahua hoki—te kaha ātaahua o tērā wahine—ā, ka hoki anō ahau ki te mahi i ahau kia itiiti iho. Ka kite au i ētehi whakaahua o Sophia Loren, pēnei i a Brigitte Bardot, ko tētehi ‘Mum, bathroom scales to go with the diet programme and a photograph of B.B. Henare, Ruiha and Rona. My family know that I cannot read English very well and yet they write in the “Whiteman's” language. I think this is a scale for reading your weight, and this is a photograph of B.B. I had made up my mind to go to the doctor. When I arrived, he asked me what I wanted. I tried in vain to think of the name of the slimming pills. I said, ‘The Pills’, and began to brush my hands down the pot tummy I had carried around for years. The doctor's eyes nearly popped out, then he asked me how old I was. What on earth was he asking my age for? I was annoyed with myself for not listening and taking my offspring's advice; had I done so, they would have seen me through this ordeal. Now, I was at a loss for words. The doctor began to speak again. He was talking about women who did not want to become pregnant again, prevention, tablets, contraceptives. Why should he lecture me about pregnant women I don't know, since I'd long since stopped having children. If all goes well with the twins or Henare I will probably have grandchildren before long. I smiled at the doctor, and said, ‘Ah, goodbye!’ That wasn't a bad effort, I'm slowly learning the English language but now I am overcome with shyness. When I emerged from the surgery, Mrs Moaho was standing there and I told her about my embarrassing encounter with the doctor. Obligingly, she said, ‘Come, I'll take you.’ We both entered the surgery and my neighbour related my wishes to the doctor. He smiled, and my mission was successfully completed. Some days I over-eat and the weight mounts up, so I eat less food. Other days, I say to myself, this dieting is useless, then I think of B.B. and her photograph—such a beautiful woman—wistfully I return to my diet programme. I came across a photograph of Sophia Loren, who is a film star like Brigitte