Resigned to marriage

Tu Tangata, Issue 14, 1 October 1983, Page 61

Resigned to marriage

by Sonya Haggie

When Metiria Anderson and Aropeta Tamou met 50 years ago they were resigned to the fact they were going to be married. The decision was taken out of their hands by their families who arranged that they would marry, so they did. And this year they will have been married for 50 years. The shy, quiet Te Kuiti couple married at Kai Iwi, near Wanganui, in 1933 in a small farm house and without any fuss. That’s the way they wanted to celebrate their wedding anniversary in May, but they had to accept the fact that their grandchildren were going to make a “fuss’ over it. When they were told they were to marry Aropeta was 21 and Metiria was 18. Their first meeting was remembered with a laugh. Said Aropeta: “We were both wondering how it was going to work out. But it came out all right. It has been beautiful.” Neither thought twice about not marrying the partner their families had chosen because arranged marriages then were not unusual.

“And in those days you listened to your parents,” Metiria said. “We’ve had our ups and downs like everybody else I suppose but, well, we’ve lasted 50 years.” She said their marriage had lasted because they had learned to love one another a love that today is very obvious. “And I think that’s the main thing in life love. Loving your children, your family....” They say that in spite of the success of their marriage they would not arrange the marriages of their children because times had changed and the old Maori tradition had died. The couple have one daughter, Wikitoria Bell of Hamilton, and an adopted son, Sonny, who lives in Australia. Soon after they married they moved to Te Kuiti and farmed for about 40 years before retiring to a house in town. Metiria was born in Te Kuiti and was one of the first students at Te Kuiti’s St Joseph’s Convent School. Aropeta is from Wanganui and is a former member of the Ratana Brass Band, which travelled to San Francisco, US, in 1927.