FITS TITS IN TANGLE

Rip It Up, Issue 201, 1 May 1994, Page 8

FITS TITS IN TANGLE

Concerning the Straitjacket Fits article in which I was quoted as saying I’d "dish the dirt” to another magazine, well Donna, here’s the facts. Firstly, wot I did was put forward a proposal to Auckland's own Hilda Ogden, John Russell to give an account of the SJF’s last tour of Europe and US (in all its Spinal Tapness) for his fanzine, Desperate Deal, as I already knew that RIU would get all it needed from Shayne. Secondly, “platitudes”? Well, it’s only natural you’d get platitudes, Lord knows what you were expecting and what you had conjured up in that. . . . mind of yours. So I guess you’re slightly pissed off because you failed to get the “real story”. So just for you Donna, here’s the real story on that fateful Friday night at CBGB’s. Soundcheck was going particularly bad this evening, Rex had been up for three days on one of his favourite binge pastimes of buying expensive Cuban cigars, crushing them up, mixing it with Lucozade and banging it up. But after we super glued his fingers to the faders and propped him up with a mop he performed to his usual high standard of mixing.

Then our gear arrived from the hire company. Me and Shayne decided we’d play with power tonite and hired matching Roland Cube 60s for that big sound and this time we’d plug in direct to the amps in true rock n’roll fashion. No sense in wasting all those pedals, let’s make Ron use every single one of them all at once, should sound great! Then came time to hit the stage. I was nervous and worried that all these record company geezers would see the speedball, jolt cola enema I just did trickling down my leg but I puckered up and got through it OK. John, however, was not fairing too well. About three songs into the set he lurched forward and slumped over the front of his kit in one of the most splendid vomiting displays ever! I stopped playing and turned around in time to hear David say “So that's where it went!!" and he promptly bent over and gingerly picked a slightly soiled but still ticking Arista watch from a pile of two weeks worth of beer and pizza. At this point Debbi still hadn’t shown and things were getting worse by the minute. During ‘Spacing’ it suddenly occurred to me that Ron was sporting a rather nice afro, but the look on his face told me it was more likely due to the 110 volts he was receiving through his guitar. At that point we decided we’d bail out before someone got killed so we walked off stage, waded thru pissed punters to the back room where we all stood around, laughed it off and then all cried for your mummys. Love always, Mark Petersen

Editor replies: Donna Yuzwalk was just doing her job — asking questions that readers are asking. Don't be so precious.