LETTERS

Rip It Up, Issue 181, 1 August 1992, Page 32

LETTE RS

Write to PO Box 5689, Auckland 1 OR Fax (09) 376 1558

BAILLIE BITES BACK Oh well 1 suppose I should make the effort and reply to Simon Coffey's bizarre little whinge about me and that Sepultura review in the Herald last month.

So Sepulture's genre is "immensely popular" he says. Sure, fine. But you don't go to concerts to review genres. Fact: that was the smallest crowd at a rock show at the Auckland Town Hall for some time. It seems one man's "immensely" is another's "well, my friends like it." It's "no less socially and politically relevant" than a lot of other "hard core pop sounds" he says. Whoah! Well if that's something to do with making you think, then Sepulture are sure right up there in the conscious-ness-raising stakes. Now if you could just make out what they were saying . .. and then the insults. "Bastard"? Sure, sometimes it goes with the territory. .• "Reactionary moron?” Hold on, is this "Simple" Simon Coffey, self-ap-pointed metal guru to BFM saying this? Well there's an ironic giggle or two. "Pessimistic, disillusioned old man?" I'm not, I just look that way sometimes. "Record company executive bot-tom-toucher?" 1 I resent that, I think. ■‘ Yes,. thanks Simon. You can give the dictionary back to whoever you borrowed it from now. RUSSELL BAILLIE CHILLED I accidentally tuned into an Auckland commercial FM rock station the other morning just as the station was doing a competition giveaway. The Chills were in town, so the question put to listeners was to name the only original member who was still in the band. Both jocks were amazed when no one came up with the correct answer. Why don't you guys get real? Genuine supporters of New Zealand music made the switch to student radio years ago. HO, TAKAPUNA BIG DEAL I was disappointed to read Tony Miller's comments regarding Wellington band Big Deal in your review of the Electric Mayhem show at the Powerstation recently. He referred to them as "a tanned and blonde glam band". I would not have believed that a "respected" RIU reviewer of live shows could label Big Deal as a glam band. Does he know what glam is? Apparently not! ' ' If I. did not know better, I could perhaps jump to the conclusion that Tony was somewhat anaesthetized at the time. In fact, I could even go so far as to say that he probably, didn't see them at all — they've never seemed tanned and blonde to me. Maybe Tony just imagined what they were like as he drove the porcelain bus in the men's or maybe pictured them as he : "dined at the Y" at some slut's place later! Tanned and blonde my arse. Anyway, when Tony next goes to review a gig I suggest that he does it from above the table, and make sure he gets the right venue. Else next time he may turn up to a Nine Livez gig to review Metallica. SUCKMYDICK WELLINGTON SOUTHSIDERS I would like to thank TV3 for its repeat of the Trigger Awards at a time more suitable for grownups. NOT. Another 'Life In Auckland Exists' crap waste of money programme to be shelved with 'Auckland In Focus For the Young and Hip'(l don't think). If they're going to show complete crap nobody bands like Braintree they could have shown some of the lesser known bands from other parts of our fair country. That's right’ one or two people live south of the Bombays or had you not noticed. There are even a few good bands down here. I, in my infinite wisdom, believe a few more awards could have headed this way. How about a 'Best Chili Peppers Rip Off While Still Retaining Some Credibility' award for Head Like A Hole, the most interesting band in New Zealand yet. Shihad could get 'The Band With the Skinniest Legs' award and would have beat Rumblefish hands down for .'Classic Rock Stance Award'. And what about Christchurch band Pumpkinhead. j A 'Sounding A Lot Like Mindfunk With Best James Hetfield Look Alike On Bass' award perhaps. If you held a gun to my head 1 could name at least a trillion cool bands that don't live in Auckland . . . well, at least 20. So Auckland fuck you. My last word, the Dead Flowers suck. Eat my shorts Riq. Stinky CHRISTCHURCH POP PEDANT It appears that some of your writers have a problem with names. Your spelling of "Axel" deserves comment as does Dave Godson, Goodson and Goodison. All three of these versions of Dave's surname have appeared in your mag. I wonder if perhaps these men have been having identity complexes or whether perhaps your editing team are sleeping on the job. I

doubt that Scott Cortese has ever been a "Cortez" in his life and I also wonder whether Shayne Silver has a y or not. If you can manage to spell Yuzwalk right surely you can manage a nice simple Axl. SCOTT’S BALL CRUSHING UNDIES POSTER WAR Last night my pal and I spent a good couple of hours putting up posters for a gig on Friday night. The band we were advertising have a small but loyal audience and not much cash to spend. When we were erecting the posters we took care not to wipe out anyone else's but covered over a few of the multitude of huge posters for touring overseas bands. They take up a whole wall with one poster (remem-

ber there are not many places to put up posters legally). Imagine my horror when driving home tonight I discovered all our hard work had been covered over. It's as if some dick wacker is trying to tell us the walls are reserved for his shit. I didn't know Auckland had a mafioso. Overseas bands should have to pay for billboards —leave the walls to us oppressed locals. This is another example of the rich get richer. JIM AND JOAN B

UP HIS Ever since his "Andy Warhol obsessed" teens, the pretentiously nicknamed Z. Bob (aka Robert Mahoney) has been comfortably ensconced up his own fundamental orifice. Now one is privileged to see him make further bold strides up his alimentary canal. Where will it all end? His mouth perhaps? He's like a cheeky little wine — you'll be amused by his

presumption. ABBA (Attack blatant bullshit artists)

HYPE MERCHANTS Well, your hype machine worked guys. I just had to go and see Head Like A Hole when they ventured down this way and golly gee, what a bunch of macho white boy semi-funk-metal posers they turned out to be. How average.

They weren't bad at what they did, and a vague feeling of entertainment did manage to drift past all of the seventeen year old skate punks stage diving at the front, back to where the long time unemployed wept as they payed extravagant prices for watered beer. I just hope things will return to the day when an up and coming act will be able to grace your pages without a) taking their clothes off b) wearing tats and body paint c) talking complete shit during "interviews" and most of all d) living in Auckland, capital of Hypesville, USA.

I realise all of my ideas are backwards, but here's another one. Why the fuck did you bother revewing the Lils and Holy Toledos two months ago? Those albums have both been released for a whole year. I don't actually like those bands but that is rather pathetic and an example of your current North Island bias. Imagine if you waited a year to review Hateman In Love, you'd have some fairly distressed people hunting you down.

Another thing pissing ,me off is Duane Zarakov's over the top reviews of "Little" (Ha!) Steve NfcAbe's tapes. Everybody in Christchurch knows the kind of hissy four track shit Steve has been peddling for YEARS. He must have about 300 of the self-indulgent ear-deathers in his Sleek-Bot catalogue. That's enough for his old mate Zarakov to keep reviewing his "brilliance" until the year 2050. And I'm sorry but the Axemen don't have a massive following in Chch. If they played here headlining I'd say about 20 people might turn up if they were lucky. So what's the point of these old Southlanders moving north and hyping themselves to death in Auckland as the big thing from the South? It's just not true, they were crap. I actually do like your magazine, it is useful, but it is also slightly too powerful and that reads as Auckland power. Yours knowingly HARRY LEBONZO, CHRISTCHURCH

Head Like A Hole live in Wellington