SLAG

Rip It Up, Issue 180, 1 July 1992, Page 28

SLAG

YOUR HOST AND EDITOR ELVIS ORLEANS IDIOT SLAG (Courtesy of the South Island Disharmony & Tuneless Whiners Companion)

In 1982 teenagers were screaming over a band called DURAN DURAN. In 1992 they are screaming over a band called the BLACK CROWES. Mere coincidence? Elvis thinks not. Ladies and Gentlemen: consider the facts... 1. BOTH HAVE PRETTY PINUP BANDMEMBERS WHO ARE SKINNY AND WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP. . The Black Crowes - Chris Robinson Duran Duran - John Taylor 2. BOTH HAVE RELEASED A SECOND ALBUM WHICH PAYS AESTHETIC HOMAGE TO THE SOUTHERN PARTS OF THE AMERICAN CONTINENT. The Black Crowes - "Southern Harmony...” Duran Duran - “Rio” 3. BOTH HAVE SONGS FEATURING ANONYMOUS BLACK FEMALE BACKING VOCALISTS WHO SING BETTER THAN THE LEAD SINGER. The Black Crowes - “Remedy” Duran Duran - “Hungry Like The Wolf” 4. BOTH BANDS DABBLE IN ILL-ADVISED CLOTHING FASHIONS. The Black Crowes - flares, frilly-cuffed sleeves, fedoras. Duran Duran - wide trousers, frilly-cuffed sleeves, fedoras. 5. BOTH BANDS SING SONGS ABOUT THE MOON Black Crowes - ‘Black Moon Creeping’ Duran Duran - ‘New Moon on Monday’ 6. BOTH BANDS ATTRACT PAINFULLY STARSTRUCK TEENAGE FANS. Article #1: A GENUINE LETTER TO RIU MAGAZINE, 1982 Dear Sir, / . ' ‘ I think Simon Le Bon is a real spunk and Rio is the best album of the year. When will Duran Duran be touring here? I think they are the best New Romantic band of the lot - heaps better than Spandau Ballet and Kajagoogoo. I think George Kay is really wrong to hassle them. NICK RHODES’ SUNGLASSES • Hamilton ’ * ' ■. Article #2: A GENUINE LETTER TO RIU MAGAZINE, 1992 Dear Sir, I think Chris Robinson is a real spunk and The Southern Harmony and Musical Companion is the best album of the year. When will the Black Crowes be touring here? I think they are the best new rock band of the lot - heaps better than Johnny Diesel and Metallica. I think George Kay is a fucking bastard. SPIDER AND GYPSY Hamilton

THE ELVIS MALTIN VIDEO RELEASES GUIDE

MY BASIC GIRL INSTINCT Paul Verhoeven’s first FAMILY MOVIE! Cutesy puppy-dog child MACAULEY CULKIN plays a tough New York cop

determined to hunt down a BISEXUAL ICEPICK KILLER. 90s sex bomb SHARON STONE plays a bisexual icepick killer determined to hunt down a TOUGH NEW YORK COP. Expatriate Dutch MADMAN and director Verhoeven says MY BASIC GIRL INSTINCTS “so fucking FAMILY it makes fucking BEETHOVEN look like a fucking movie about a fucking DOG!” R 25 certificate.

Now available on video, this SUBTLY RE-EDITED director’s version of Oscar-winning feminist shoot-em-up movie Thelma And Louise includes the above DYNAMIC ACTION SEQUENCE where hitchhiker MARK TIERNEY explains EQ management and tricky snare / kick-drum overdubbing techniques employed on the new Straw People single. Billionaire genius GEENA DAVIS looks on with OBVIOUS INTEREST. In this version, Thelma and Louise drive off the cliff TWO DAYS EARLIER.

ALIENS 3 Joining SIGOURNEY WEAVER in the HEARTSTOPPING SEQUEL are HIGH SECURITY SPACEPRISON INMATES Mr JOOST LANGEVELD (left) and Mr PAUL CASSERLY. In this HEART-STOPPING scene the three heroes discover a plaster cast of ADAM HOLT and ponder the implications which it holds for them

NEW FACES IN RRRRRRROCK!

THE WILLIAM FAULKNER PLAYERS are a “low down and dirty swamp-rock mean weird muddy madness English One Lit text scary feedback unwashed" duo playing RARK 1 music. Bandmembers NICK HEROIN VOODOO (left) and MATTHEW SKULL (right). Their new single is ‘I Wanna Sex You Up.’

Potting shed rock svengali CHRIS KNOX enjoyed a media get-together to announce the REFORMATION of TOY LOVE. Unperturbed by commercial TV and radio’s persistent refusal to play his Tall Dwarfs singles and videos, Chris seemed STRANGELY CONFIDENT that the new TOY LOVE lineup would SUCCEED where the original had failed. The new Toy Love "FLY GIRLS”, as he refers to them, are (L to R) COKE, PEPSI, LEVI’S and ALEC BATHGATE. Their new single is ‘I Wanna Sex You Up.’ ELVIS SLAG’S RUGBY GREATS! A New Monthly Series Celebrating The Only Thing That Matters In New Zealand! Clip ’em! Collect ’em! Swap them with your friends!