BY THE WAY.

Star (Christchurch), Volume LXIV, Issue 833, 5 August 1933, Page 9

BY THE WAY.

Some Collections and Reflections. BY ONE OF THE BOYS. Off the Gould Standard —the C.J.C. It is understood that the Canterbury Onion Growers are a very strong body. Said Auntie: “I cannot understand those Americans saying a Sunday in New Zealand is gloomy, but it is only because they don’t know where to go. Our minister is wonderful and the choir singing perfect.” The news that a German scientist has invented a method of raising 36 crops in one year is especially of interest to New Zealanders. It seems that all they are any good for is milking Strawberry and growing things. No, Ermyntrude, we do not know a good thing for the Winter Cup. Cylinder is top weight, but keep off it. In these days of sixes a single Cylinder has little chance. We cannot recommend Shatter. It is liable to go to pieces. Merry Peel takes the eye. It is a full sister to Banana Peel, a very slippery thing. We do not need to warn you against Silver Ring. A Silver Ring never tempted a girl yet. Beacon Fire is one of the high lights, but if too hot leave it alone. Playground may be worth a bet. There is nothing more game and it is best when it has a large field. Foreign Queen is fast, but of corset’s doubtful if she stays. Mount Boa and Red Boa are related to Feather Boa. If it’s necks at the finish they will be there. Perhaps after all you had better back Buoyant. He is related to One of the Buoys, and believe me, Ermyntrude, he’s not too slow.

“Mother of Ten” writes: “Since my husband has taken on golf the car is all Sunday on the golf links and the pleasant outings we used to have are now gone. What can be done?” Your question is one that is agitating all golfers. They are not inherently selfish. A suggestion has been made by a Waimairi golfer that a portion at the east end be fenced off with a barbed-wire entanglement. Here the mothers and children could play and yet be no nuisance to the game. Brown has taught his children to act as caddies, but he admits he has not solved the problem of his wife. “ A creche for mothers at each club would be a good idea,” he argues. Probably Smith’s idea is the best, only it proved unworkable. We were all sitting round and Smith said: “Here we have all been enjoying ourselves selfishly all day. How would it be to get our wives to make up a party for to-morrow night?” The idea looked good. Everyone was enthusiastic, till Jones said: “ Yes, it is a good idea all right, but where will we leave them.”

There is a vast difference between Hitlerism and the New Zealand Legion. In the first place Hitler is in Germany and the Legion is in New Zealand—thousands of miles difference. It is true that Hitler is also opposed to parties, but the Berlin Jewish Party voluntarily disbanded. The New Zealand Legion would not use Hitler methods. They would use educational methods. Freddy Freeman would have to attend lectures on advantages of canals, and Dr Thacker would have to pass an examination on tunnel roads. What will happen when the doctor becomes a tunnel fan and Freddy a canalite we do not know. We will assume that it will be agreed to construct a canal through the hills to Lyttelton and that Mr Acland will be deputy-mayor for Dan, and that the Godley statue and the Gould memorial will be placed on wheels. Perhaps Papanui will be placarded with one-and-a-half-man trams, and the Licensed Victuallers and Prohibitionists be compelled to drink shandies. Alsatians will lie down with the sheep and each radio item will please everyone. Then —and this is what we are coming to—the New Zealand Legion will have accomplished its work. All parties and sectional interests will have been done away with. The legion will then cease to be a party because it will not be a part of the whole darn show. Not being a party, it cannot have members and just when the million and half shillings a year are ready to come in, will it have to hand them back ? For an answer to this we of Dr Campbell beg.