BY THE WAY.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 19108, 28 June 1930, Page 9

BY THE WAY.

SOME COLLECTIONS AND REFLECTIONS. (By One of the Boys.) The Sumner lifeboat is to be christened today. Afterwards it will be baptised. a So the Highland Pipe Band is to play at the second test. Oh, well! I wasn’t keen on going x in any case. « " Elizabeth Anne ” wrote last night: “ I was looking at some bags the other day, and some of the newest ones have a flat polished metal disc.” Yes, “ Elizabeth Anne,” it is probably a button. , The great question fs: What made the Maltese cross? a a a The Mayor is to start a “ cheer up ” campaign. Wrong I We don't want any “ cheer up ” germs. Let them put Lilburne back in the team and clear out the old crocks, and we will be happy. a Visitor (being shown host’s collection of butterflies): “It must have been a terrible blow to you when the poof things died!” Phyllis: “ I have no confidence in men.” Mabel: “Why not?” Phyllis: “ Every time T go to the pictures with another fellow, I find my boy there with some other girl.” There's all sorts go to make a world, A Clarence, Clive or Randall; But true mates have no fancy names; They have no fancy handle. There’s some that guide the world along; There’s some the whole world steadies The Charlies and the Tommies, too, And Jimmies, and the Freddies. Let’s lay aside the tester’s cap. Stand silent! Fellows! Steady! And pay a tribute to a man— A Red—but one called Freddy. 2* 2*2 « A country doctor, if he is to survive, needs to be diplomatic. In illustration of this contention, a story is told of one such medico, who had been sent for to attend a somewhat cantankerous old man who had collapsed while ploughing. “You say my heart is weak?” rasped the old man. 44 Do you mean that it’s liable to give out on me any time?” “Bless you, no! ” exclaimed the diplomat. “ That heart of yours will last a lifetime.” A prisoner was brought into a certain Police Court one day, and the inspector, picking up his pen and addressing him, asked the usual question: “What’s your name?” Now the culprit had had, it is to be feared, slightly too much drink, but he did his best. “ Sis-sis-sis-sis—he began. “Good gracious!” said the inspector, turning to a constable, “ what he he charged with?” “It'sounds like soda water,” came the reply, “ but I think it is something stronger.” The Canterbury man and the Englishman were talking in the Square. What were they talking about? What else is there to talk about but the test? Said the Eng ashman: “ I don’t know how Canterbury managed to beat them.” “ They should have won by more,” said the Canterbury man. “The Canterbury team is like our Cathedral,” continued the Christchurch-born. “It stands alone, and taller than all else. ‘ Upward and onward ’ is Canterbury’s motto, like the spire, pointing ever upward.” The Englishman looked across at the Cathedral, and then bis eyes wandered to the United Service building with the newness of the top storey still apparent.

“ The Cathedral may point upward, but it stays where it is,” he said. “If the Canterbury team played the British team again, it would be like the United Service.” “How’s that?” “ It would be another story.”

Ham looked out into the night. It was raining a fine drizzle. Business was rather slack. A sav-and-spud had just left, and a pie-to-be-taken-away handed out. Settling down in the corner by the stove. Ham smiled pensively. “ Id like to pick the test team,” he said, “ and I bet it would land the bacon. It would be a good team. I’d pick the Canterbury forwards to a man. Look at the way they held the Briish team. And then for the backs I’d have Nepia for full-back; Hart, Cooke and Oliver for the three-quarters; Nicholls and Lilburne, five-eighths, and Dailey at half. I think that would make a good team—not the best team, but a team that wotild not cause too much interprovincial jealousy. It is not the best team, though. The best team would have Innes and Hay as five-eighths. You could not do better. Hay with the best pair of hands in New Zealand; and Innes—he’s good. Yes; Dailey, Hay and Innes would do; ind perhaps it would* be as well to put Lilburne or Carleton in place of Cooke. Cooke is getting old. What do you think of it?” “Not bad,” I said, “but isn’t it rather a mistake? Nepia is the only man you have left in that is not a Canterbury man.” Ham looked troubled. “You are right,” he said. “After all Nepia is getting old, and Harris is a better full-back.”