BY THE WAY.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 18452, 1 May 1928, Page 9

BY THE WAY.

SOME COLLECTIONS AND REFLECTIONS. (By One of the Boys). Judging by the preparations in Paris the Communists have revised the old idea's about May Day. Call me early, call me early, for I must observe the day In a hurly burly truly surly true proletarian way. Call me early, call me early, for I am the nark to-day, For I must chop the maypole down and throttle the Queen of the May. There was a very elderly and crusty spinster who booked up at one of the city hotels last night. “ And I want an early call in the morning,” she ‘‘Have, you a train to catch?” said the young tiling in the office. “Of course! What do you think I want to be called early for?” “ Oh, I thought perhaps you were going to be Queen of the May.” I notice the Savage Club is out after new members. These people have titles. A man elected a member of the Savage Club is a Savage and his wife is Savager. It may be a coincidence (I hope it is), but, following on the annual meeting of the Savage Club, last night was the wildest night in the history of Christchurch. Husband (after quarrel): “Good-bye; I’m going to the ends of the earth." Wife: “All right. And while you’re there you might get the evening paper and a tin of salmon for tea.” Bright Messenger: "Willie,” said his mother, “I wish you would run across the street and see how old Mrs Brown is this morning.” A few minutes later Willie returned and reported: “Mrs Brown says it’s none of your business how old she is.” American mother (reading to her children) : “Now Jack had scarcely hid himself in the castle before a great voice boomed out, ‘Fee, fi, fo, fum, I smell the blood of an Englishman.’ And what do you suppose it was?” The Kiddies (in chorus) : “The Mayor of Chicago! ” A very stout woman stopped a Sumner tram with a top-deck trailer, and told the conductor not to start until she got on top. When she reached the last step he called out: “Are you all right, madam?” “No,” came the repW. “I'm coming down again.” She came down and stepped off on to the pavement. “Where did you want to go to, madam?” asked the conductor. “Well,” was the replyt “I’m not going anywhere to-day, but if it’s fine I might go for a ride tounorrow, and I wanted to see if I could climb the stairs.” The vicar was taking to task one of the young members of his flock.

“William,” he said, “ I hear that you have been raising false hopes in several maiden hearts. If rumour does not lie, you are engaged to one girl in this village, another in Marshland, and a third in Kaiapoi. How do you come to do such a thing?” William grinned uneasily. “Why, sir,” he explained, “I’ve got a bicycle.”

The Canterbury Women’s Club did not know that there was a lady on the City Council, but it was certainly under the impression that there were a number of gentlemen. It seems to have blundered all along the line.