BREVITIES.

Thames Star, Volume LX, Issue 16959, 4 December 1926, Page 5

BREVITIES.

VICE-REGAL VISIT.

AGATHA TIPS OFF THE GOV.-GEI&

WHO’S WHO AT THAMES, j

(BY AGATHA GREEN.)

Dear Sir Charles,—When you come t<f Thames next Monday one of the firsfe persons you will meet is Mr. T. WRhodes, M.P., and Mayor of ThamesIf you don’t know him by his hat you will recognise him by his spats. H® hasn’t worn them yet, but, like Lantey Melbourne Bruce, whom you met in Aussie, lie’s bound to wear them oM; such an important occasion as this. Fie bolds the record for length of service as M.P. for Thames, and if he retires next election, we want you to put him in the Upper House. He makes his own cigarettes, but keep* a packet of "tailor-mades” for bis friends. If you take him down to your cabin, tell the steward to have a bottleof raspberry handy, because that i® his favourite drink. MR. H. LOWE.

After the Mayor lias given you the glad hand, Mr. Henry Lowe will welcome you on behalf of the Thame* County Cockies. Henry is a Thames Old Bov, and though he is President of the Thames Jockey Club, he knows more about trotters than Gallopers. He is a past master in the art of soothing restive ratepayers, especially the ones at Puriri. Every time they start anything he makes a speech,when they fall back exhausted and li» dormant for twelve months. He ha* no favourite song, but his favourit® recreation is playing Crib with the he!a. of a good Alley. MR. E. L. WALTON. You will buck up when yon shake hands with the Chairman of the Hauralti Plains County Council. He lia* one of those houest-to-goodness grip* you used to get in Scotland. He will bring you the loyal good wishes of pur country cousins to whom he\ acts, a* father-confessor. When he isn’t thinking out how to get some more good roads and fridges on the Plains, he turns an honest penny by unravelling the legal tangles pfUiq glams’ Like his colleague," Henry Lo%7?he is-j a Thames Old Boy. He keeps an eye on the Thames Hospital on behalf of his constituents, and his favourite recreation, at present, is inspecting the Hospital, accompanied by the Chairman of the Board. MR. W. E. HALE.

After you’ve had a look at the schools and got all the boys and girl* a holiday, and seen our Thames exdiggers at the High School, Mr. AV. E. Hale will show you over the Hospital. As they’ve had a fortnight’* notice of your visit, everything in the garden will be lovely. William is ait authority on this Butter Control business you’ve heard so much about, and might take you down to the Hospital Farm. His favourite pastime is giving his casting vote. MR. J. E. GREEN.

They're going to take you . over t» the Hauraki Plains on Tuesday, ana when you get to Turua you II meet Mr. J. E. Green. Jimmy isn't Mayor of Turua, but lie ought to be. He is secretary to everything in Turua, and what he doesn’t know about roads, halls, Drainage Boards, Town Boards, dairy factories, pictures and piles (es peeially the sort the Harbour Board use), could be written on the back of one of the new penny postage stamps. His favourite pastime is "telling off’* the Clerk of the Turua Town Board cn behalf of the Secretary of the Haulaki Drainage Board. CONVERSAZIONE.

I see they’re going to have a conversazione for you on . Tuesday night*. L don’t know what this is, but some say it’s something you can’t drink. When vour cobber, John Jellicoe, waslast here, they had one then, but everybody wanted to make a speech, and some of us didn’t have much of a time, because we didn’t know what to wear. When J. Gordon Coates was here the night before" the election, Deputv - Mayor William Bongard made ’ a hit with everybody by not allowing anyone to make a speech except the Prime Minister. We hope you’ll be the only speaker on Tuesday, because we could listen to >oil tor hours but we haven’t got a DeputyMayor now, so we’ll just have to hope for the best. We're glad you wouldn t let them give you one-of those infoimal dinners and wanted to meet the people instead. We’ll be glad to meet you, and hone you’ll come again. I’m sorry I can’t introduce you to more of °ur most prominent citizens, but you’ll see them all on Tuesday.