FROM A CLUBMAN’S CHAIR

Timaru Herald, Volume CXL, Issue 20217, 19 September 1935, Page 6

FROM A CLUBMAN’S CHAIR

TOO MANY LIONS AND SQUIRRELS GERMANS BUY BRIARS (Specially written for "The Timaru Herald ” by Charles Martin) LONDON, July 24. A friend of mine who makes practise of collecting “ourselves as others see us” pronouncements from all kinds of sources was telling me of some interesting additions to his list during the last few days. A professional guide relayed some pithy opinions of London from parties of French and Italian tourists. What struck them most was the quietness of London traffic. An awkward and unwelcome piece of praise that must be for the Anti-Noise Society which is always protesting at j London’s din! But a week-end in Paris will convince any Londoner that his own city is a haven of comparative silence. And in spite of the nighttime ban on hooting, we have not yet gone so far as the Romans, who have forbidden motor-homs altogether, day and night. By Way of Contrast Other impressions which tourists confided to their guide were admiration for our “splendid ’buses" —and amazement at the number of broken-down crocks masquerading under the name of taxis. As for the ’buses, every travelled Englishmen will agree that there are none finer anywhere in the world. Curiously enough, those two most progressive of cities, Paris and New York, still have ’buses which London would have considered oldfashioned twenty years ago. But I fancy the average Londoner would be a little piqued at this criticism of our taxis. Scotland Yard ia supposed to be busy weeding out the old crocks, and we are very proud of some of the smart new cabs on the streets. Still, we have a long way to go before we approach the standard of luxurious comfort offered in Paris and New York. What they lack in ■buses they make up for in taxis. They Like Our Briars Quite a new glimpse of things English came to my friend via one of the German ex-soldiers who have been over here on a “friendship tour.” The British institution they most admired was the briar pipe. Orl the first day of their visit, it seems, practically every one of the Germans had bought a cheap briarand their appreciation was not marred by the fact that they spent most of their trip breaking in the new pipes. Incidentally, the English tourist is no less enthusiastic about the cheapness (if not the flavour) of German cigars.

What the Sohoolboy Thought Which reminds me that one can collect quite a lot of original views about other countries from homecoming English holiday-makers. This week, for instance, a party of English choir-boys arrived back after a singing tour of the United States. They were feted everywhere, so they ought to have brought back happy memories. But their impressions were mixed. One boy was asked what he thought of American food. “Rotten!” was his brief reply. And then he added: “I want some real Yorkshire pudding. (It appears that Henry Ford had given the young tourists Yorkshire pudding in Detroit, but it was nothing like the genuine article). On the other hand, the boys felt real regret at leaving the land of the soda-fountain. “Chocolate milk shake,” said one of them appreciatively, “is a marvellous drink. I don't suppose I shall be able to get anything like it over here.” Going to America America, by the way, is enjoying quite a tourist boom this season. It is a new experience to have visitors exclaiming “How cheap everything is!” With the depreciated dollar and low liner fares, Europeans are beginning to realise that one can have a holiday in the States at little more cost than a trip to the South of France. A Londoner I know went over in an aimless sort of way to New York, with no clear idea of what he was going to do. When he got there he bought an eight-year-old car (rescued Loin, the scrap-heap) for £l, and spent the best holiday of his life” touring round the Southern States. At the end of his holiday he just left the car by the roadside and took ship home.

Who Wants a Lion? The London Zoo is beginning to be worried about its lions. Usually the trouble in European menageries is to keep up the stock of animals and induce them to breed in captivity. But lions are a glut on the zoological London now has nineteen f hll-grown lions—enough for any Zoo. But tnere are also three cubs, and no one taws what will become of them when they grow up. There will not be room for them at the Zoo, and they will have to be sold. The lion market is said to be sluggish just at present, and it will be a job to dispose of the growing cubs. The real difficulty is that the public likes lion cubs, so that the Zoo has to go on breading them. It looks as though the Fellows of our Society would soon have to follow the practise of their French colleagues. The Paris Zoo has an annual banquet at which lion stakes and other homeraised delicacies are served. or perhaps superfluous cubs could be sent to General Goering, who likes to have a young lion or two roving about his paiace in Berlin.

The Squirrel Menace With the aid of a little imagmation, one can see the lion menace in England reaching the proportions of the present squirrel plague. While kind old ladies toss bread and nuts to the grey squirrels in the parks, keepers and farmers are shooting the creatures at sight By 1950, say the experts, squirrels will be a menace oyer the whole country, almost as serious as Australia’s rabbits. Like rabbits in Australia and deer in New Zealand, the grey squirrel is a “foreign” herd. Just over forty years ago an American presented a pair of squirrels to the Duke of Bedford. Thendescendants have now spread all over the south of England. In the hope of keeping down the pest, the public is being constantly reminded that squirrel pie is delicious —but somehow people can’t get used to the idea.

The Cheapest Cinema What must be easily the cheapest high-class cinema hi London has just opened. It is the old Court Theatre, the playhouse where Bernard Shaw first made his name, now transformed into a picture palace. You can see a picture there for only threepence. The explanation is that this is a repertory cinema—an interesting new idea There are one or two “highbrow” places in London which show old films, chiefly foreign ones. But the Court is adopting the policy of screening revivals of the big popular successes—the kind of picture which real fans want to see a second time after the lapse of a year or so. The

aims, cost very little to hire, hence the cheapness of the seats. One curious thing makes the Court unique among cinemas; the projector is actually not in the theatre at all. Owing to suppose risk of fire, a cinema license was at first refused. The new proprietors got over the difficulty in an ingenious way. They set up the projector outside the theatre, and the image is shot on to the back of the screen through a fire-prool tunnel.