Telephone Exchange.

Pahiatua Star and Eketahuna Advertiser, Volume 2, Issue 170, 7 February 1888, Page 2

Telephone Exchange.

[Wo do not hold ourselves responsible for any expression of opinion in this column, nor can we guarantee the accuracy of the items supplied. Correspondents should be brief with each subject dealt with.]

Did I understand you to say that they were spending their honeymoon at Stewart’s Hotel ? Yes, they arrived the other night and took up tlieir quarters as man and wife! Come, now, it can't be true ; lie's got a wife and family somewhere on the West Coast! But I tell you it is true. A gentleman who knows nil about Mr Honeymoon arrived from Wanganui last night and spoilt his little game ! They'll he oil - to some other quiet spot ut once, you'll find ! Oh, Jerusalem ! and Paliiatua has come to this !—A man with a wife and family spends liis honeymoon here with another man's wife, sister, aunt, or grandmother ! This is too much for me ; I shall evaporate.

Bowky lias gone to tho Chatham Islands. He’ll chat 'em all to death in a week. His first words on arrival were to tho effect that the polyphonic dissonance of atmospheric perturbation had initiated temporary paroxvsumta of emesis.

On Monday we all voted for or against the increase of licenses in the district. There were four things to vote about: Ordinary, New Zealand Wine. Accommodation, and Uottlo Licenses. Considering that bottle liceu-es are not legal in this district, some people want to know what the use of voting was.

If stock are not to run loose about the streets, what will become of the grass ? In a few months wo shall be hidden in a wilderness of docks and thistles. At present very close fences are necessary, as the whole place is a menagerie of dogs, cats, fowls, pigs, cows, horses, and other animals. Remove them and it will bo impossible to walk from one house to another.

This reminds me that our three chain road is getting in a bad way from a new practice. There is a raised cqgseway down the middle, 12 feet wide, called the coach road. Several householders have made raised causeways from their abodes to this road. That means leaving squares of grass in between, at a lower level, without drainage, and when rain conies we are a sort of New Zealand Venice. Kverybody accuses everyone else of flooding him. The whole matter wants seeing to, but what to do is most difficult to sav.