HOW WE LIVE IN SAN FRANCISCO.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XII, Issue 4127, 4 February 1875, Page 3

HOW WE LIVE IN SAN FRANCISCO.

[VRO.M OCR SPECIAL CORRESPONDENT.] Is there not something in the nature of an island home that gives to its people a spirit of independence and self-reliance ; a Spirit, untouched by the knowledge of the history and experiences of other nations, which lifts the islander out of the rank of continental life, and stamps him with characteristics peculiarly his own ? Hut with this hardy spirit, which insulation evolves, there is generally a conservatism in respect to their own ways and customs, and a contempt for those of other nations that mars the beauty of an otherwise perfect character. The children of the sun-born isles of the South—dwellers in the sea-tlowers that beautify the peaceful ocean—are apt to credit themselves with their Italian clime, the cioadle-s sky with which nature has adorned her Southern play ground. Cut oil' from the great str;r,ms of human life, intoxicated by the gentle brt ezes that cool the laud, inflated by the ever-distant prospect of greatness, which is to lift "Typo's lust lisl." up to the magnitude of a new Britain, New Xcalaudeis are too ready to think their little isle the world, and to give nioutli accordingly. And yet two-thirds of the people of this land—ay, and of Europe— only know that New Zealand exists in connection with cannibalism. llf the 300,0(10 Anglo Saxons who are laying the foundation of a grand future in that distant outpost of civilisation, very little is known. There is a general idea that New Zealand is a portion of Australia, and a convict settlement at that. Even here iu -San Fra icisco there is

gross ignorance on the subject. Only the other day I was asked by a very intelligent lady if New Zealand was not a portion of New Brunswick—or Nova Scotia Such is fame ! An Australian or New /Ccalander is as much an object of curiosity in the streets of San Francisco as he would be iu Central China. His dress, his swinging gait, the heavy, ponderous way iu which he puts down his No. 10's, are ail noted and commented upon by San Franciscans. If the word '■ colonial" was printed upon his " Colgotha," it would not distinguish him more than the heavy, suulileached beard, bronzed faie, strong, deep chest, powerful muscular dc\ elopment, awkward walk (as if still in the mud), wretchedly fitting clothes, ugly boots, year-old hats, inevitable stick or umbrella, and too often the short black pipe which shocks the :esthctic taste of the pale, waslud-out, I'lellchfashioncd, but elegant American.

Every arrival of tlie Australian steamer at this port brings a fresh batch of colonials, who for a few days parade tlie streets of Sail Francisco in mobs, no doubt very milch astonished at all they see and hear, but altogether unconscious of, or at least inditl'crcnt to, the fact that their every movement is a subject of intense amusement to the San Franciscans, who watch their antics as they would those of a drove of elephants passing through their streets. liow is it that Englishmen have never harnt tlu; art of dressing ? How is it that they are at least one hundred years behind the world's yoting-cst-born nation iu the art ot self-adornment'.' The Melbourne man, the Sydneyite, or the Aucklander, are all distingui died here as members of the same colonial family, yet as possessing characteristics peculiar to each. Perhaps the Melbourne man approximates most to the American, yet when he puis in an appearance here, with his light-grey pants, blue diagonal frock, white bell-topper Wrapped in gauze, stepping out at a pace that leaves liis Sydney brother yards behind, the American, whil>t exclaiming, "There goes a Mclbournemau !" cannot help twirling his we 11-waxed moustailic and smi ling serenely upon the barbarian \\ hen a Sydney man sails slowly along,as i;' heavily freighted by tlie vastness of his own importance, with a dreamy, lost expression ii his face, his person surrounded by a heavy, ill-littiug .suit of thiol; dark tweed, and las hand grasping a heavy .stick ready for action, the American again smiles and again plays with the hairy llowers upon his lip, as he exclaims, 44 A Sydney duck, l»y thunder !" l»ut when an Aitcklauder appears in a nondescript, harlequin suit, made of bags, low crowucd hat, short frock or sac, Crimean shirt, and a superabundance of greenstone ornaments aud quartz, jewellery, the astute American is slightly puzzled, and he hesitates* to i»ronounee his opinion. Hut wlkmi tlu child of Maui speaks, his tongue bewraveth him, for his lir>t utterance is a growl ami a protest. Modesty in the abstract is as well undo.stood and appreciated by the AucUlander ;us by anybody else, but, so far as he is concerned, that gentle spirit has never yet left its abstract shades. The Xe»v Xealauder visiting this land comes to it thoroughly prejudiced, and lie considers it his sacred duty to elevate his mountains, deepen his harbours, widen his rivcis, and go sky-high for everything colonial. Lev one of our colonial friends enter a Kearney-street store, aud lie is at once an object of special interest. In a voice calculated to drive a team of oxen up Mount Kdcn, he tells the civil clerk of the wondrously cheap goods he can buy from «L Cosgrave and Co., iu Auckland, and expresses his opinion in diluted Saxon that the elaborately got up individual who is attending him is a fraud, and the whole institution a cheat-. Of course he is fooled to the top of his bent, and, not being

gifted with the virtue of .silence, is made to pay for his offensive loquacity. Indeed, the peculiarities of all Britishers is a standing joke with Americans, and I think it only fair that you .should know sonic-thing of the manners and customs of a people who so severely criticise the children of the Southern Britain.

How we live here will doubtless interest your readers.

Out of respect for the fair se.\, 1 give precedence to the all-imporc-'int mailer of marriage. Nominally, the marriage contract is the same in all Christian lands ; it's true nature is. however, better understood in its breach than in its fulfilment. Tiie oldfashioned notions concerning this matter have been swept into the past by the freedom of reform. Speaking generally, marriage, as understood by Americans, is simply a partnership to be continued as long as the connection is agreeable to b >th parties. Like all other partnerships, it has its duties and responsibilities, lmt it has no more sac red character than attaches to any ordinary business connection. No doubt the easy and inexpensive manner in which divorces may be obtained has much to do with the fact. Yc Aueklnmlcrs, who are troubled by the demon incompatibility, and who make night hideous by your «juar els, read this and be happy from the daily papers ;— " Parties can obtain dit'orccsou any grounds no matter where residing, by making application to the under.-igned. Terms, fifty dollars. The utmost secrecy maintained. Apply to No, I won't give the address. T am afraid the Israclitish exodus from Kgypt would be nothing compared with the hosts that would wander hither to be untied. It is not the custom here for a man to marry until he has reached a mature age—say forty. lie looks upon the matrimonial connects u as one in which, ere he enters it, he should have cut his wisdom.teeth, and exhausted his disposition to broadcast his favours. It is necessary, also, that he provide a handsome establishment for the 1 idy partner who is t<> occupy it. Most L'aliforniaus, therefore, marry at 40, taking as wives girls ageing from 17 to lint don't imagine that these 17-ycar-olds are gushing, tender, innocent young things. They at e women full-fledged, matured, keen-witted, intelligenteompamons. If an American is net rich at 40 he rarely marries, but enters the noble army of •• Old • Bachelors" and goes clown to his grave In blessed singleness. When a young man marries he has usual!} drawn a prize in the

shape of a rich widow or only child of a millionaire. It is the fashion here to have tho marriage ceremony performed in the evening, so that the glitter of lamps may lend an additional charm to the brilliant scene. When "there is money in it" the display is simply gorgeous. That the world may know how happy she is, the bride takes care that a reporter, one of the Jenkins stamp, is present, and she is careful thai he is supplied with a complete list of every article of her toilette, both in use and in reserve, and the world is next day told how many petticoats, crinolines, stockings, garters, corsets, &c., &c., the young wife possesses. Her numerous presents are | displayed, tho name of the donor and the cost is whispered in the reporter's capacious ear, and again the world is delighted to hear that John Kettle has presented Miss Mary Potts a Set of diamond garters, or an improved improver. Very frequently from aOO to 1000 guests are invited to the wedding, and Jenkins is furnished with a list of the names, and a minute description of the toilette of each lady guest. If the bride's father is a man of auy prominence, his history and the history of his ancestors is Chronicletl for the special education of an admiring public-spirited world. The ceremony is the least important part of the business—being hurried through with little regard for propriety. Of course the spread is superb, and ample justice is done to the good things provided. Wedding tours are not nearly so fashionable as they used to be, and here 1 think the Americans shew better judgment than do the Children of the Fog. Medical men are agreed. upon this I point, that the wear and tear of the excitement consequent upon travel, is by no means good for a lady contemplating early motherhood. I have put this as delicately as possible. AFTER MARRIAGE. Once iii her own house, the American lady is a queen. She is absolute mistress of the situation, ller husband never dreams of interfering with her domestic arrangements. She entertains when and whom she likes. It makes no ditl'erence whether the husband is at home or not —the lady of the house does not need his aid. He i>, indeed, permitted to look after tlie garden, and to order meats and vegetables, init this is about the extent of his privileges. And this is in accordance with his own wishes. He has no care for domestic matters ; his soul, every energy of his mind and body, are directed to success in business, f. r every American has a business of some sort. [There are no upper-crust loafers in this country.] The American wife (of course 1 speak generally) is as socially free as her husband. She is treated not merely as his equal, but, as she really is, his superior. Ail American gentleman is generally as polite and attentive to his own wife as he is to any other man's ; and that is saying a great deal. American ladies despise Englishmen, because of their hni.-fjiu' manner with their wives. They are satistied that English gentlemen do not as a rule beat their wives, but this negative virtue falls very far short of what an American lady demands from her husband. In a very great degree the fullilment of the marriage promise is reversed— the man loves, honors, and obeys. But I would not have yon think that the American wife is inferior to her sister of Kngland ; on the contrary, in many important respects, she is her superior. There arc thousands of American women who could, in an emergency, ! take hold of and manage their husband's ■ business with a perfect success. But that ■ kind of a wife is not the ideal of the poet ; ; nevertheless iu this country I think she is ! the right woman iu the right place. ,

ski:vasts and jhu:ss. J Two very important matters, about which \ only a woman can write, and must be dis- : missed with a brief notice. The native \ American servants are very few, very iude- j pendent, and very clever. In live out of six households the servant is mistress of her own department- and of her mistress also, and will not tolerate the slightest interfer- ' cnce on tin* part of her employer. She is as ; well fed, housed, and clothed as thoM; she | serves, aud compels what is her due—kindness ami cojt>iderate care :—these given, >he , works well.

Out ol doors and at parties or entertain incuts (an American lady docs not "give a party" like llans Brcitmau, hut "entertains") tiie American lady is always elegantly and harmoniously dre. sed. In the mornings and at home, under oidiuary circumstances, she over-dresses, and is too fond of wearing her jewellery at breakfast. In fall dress she surpasses in every way her Knglish sister , but ill tiie f.'iacelul "at liiinie" dress 0 f the Knylish lady the latter lias a decided advantage over her American sister. The of dressing in San l'raneiseo is about three times as nineli as in your city, l, u t the material used and the lab, ml . cm■ri' "Ved compensate for the diii'ercnee. I lie American lady, as represented on the stajje or described in sensational novels, is exceedingly unlike the true American woman. It has often hecn urged that she lacks mo desty. 'I his is a libel ; but the charge has an apparent foundation in the fact that, as the American woman is taught to rely upon herself and become in all matters independent of her male friends, she can visit and travel unattended by male escort without being guilty of any impropriety. Stic can embark in a business in which it is necessary to employ the male animal, and conduct it without any damage to her character or danger to her feelings. When men and women arc on a perfect equality the »piestion of modesty must be measured by the stan.lard of the people. 1 admit that the soft, helpless, appealing nature of too many of our Knglish sisters is foreign to the American character ; and 1 also know that the self-grudging, self-reliant nature of the American woman does not appeal to the sentiment of the Knglish male, to whom the utter dependence, the gentle, tender clinging of his wife to himself is the most attractive feature in her character. Nevertheless, whilst the American woman is deficient- in tin; matter of softness, she is neither bold nor immodest. She receives hergue. c -ts, entertains them, and may form a very high opinion of them, whilst her husband may only know them by sight. And this rule applies to young, unmarried ladies who have been "out," for they receive gentlemen visitors without any necessity for the presence of either father or mother. 'Tis <piite the correct thing for a young lady to have half-a-dozen young gentlemen visiting at her mother's house—going thereto .see the young lady herself, and perhaps never meeting cither father or mother at any of their visits. An American girl will undertake with perfect propriety a journey of several hundreds of miles entirely alone. Xor will she ever be molested or annoyed in any way by her male companions on the w.yagc. There are sixty ladies in this country proprietors of newspaper?, who conduct tiie business with as much prudence and feminine propriety as attaches to a public woman anywhere, and arc as successful as their male competitors.

There are hundreds <if women who own anil work large farms with amazing results, and 1 am not aware that any charge of immodesty or impropriety i'an lie brought against cither newspaper or farm proprietors. Tlic difference between nil Knglisli and American lady (of e<|iial social rank! is simply Olio of education. For all practical purposes tin- education of an American woman is superior to that of her English sifter, but what is proper and correct in the former in the reverse in the latter. I'.y and by, when this country becomes more densely populated and its vast accumulations of wealth produce what must, eonif —a class of men and women devoted to art in all its forms,—in fact an aristocracy, where all that is good ill the old world will lie reproduced ill the HeYT, whilst the objectionable features will lie toned down, then the difference between Kngliah ami American society will be inappreciable. In the meantime, American wives occupy a van tage ground as compared with the (laughters of Europe. [To bo continued.l