THE HOLY CITY FIGHT

Maoriland Worker, Volume 12, Issue 303, 20 December 1922, Page 9

THE HOLY CITY FIGHT

"As there is much, beast and.some devil in man So there is some angel and God in him."—Smith' c "I fight a Dominion fight."—lsitt. Sure, but it was" a tough g o ,£n Christchurch North. From the word g o our. Brother Isitt went. He screamed, he yelled, he pulled faces. It was, a mov-ng picture alright, alright. And Brother Archer had him beat He was beat until the little stagemanaged drama of the Howard Yelliot stunt. As ;a Vag I have always been proud of the fellow who could pro*duce the Joker and save the game. The Joker was produced in this case, and Brother Leonard Monk goes back 'to help Brother William Fergl. "You are old, Father William," the young man said, "And your hair has become very white; And yet you incessantly stand on your head — Do you think, \at your age, it is right?" i "In my youth," Father William re-. j plied to his son, I"I feared it would injure the bra?n; But, now that I'm perfectly sure I have none Why, I do it again and again." ; So the fight In the North was a ! merry one. When Carpentier went into the ring to fight Siki, the gentleman from Senegal, he thought he would meet the usual thing that would comply with the usual rulsa observed in the gjame. And the coloured gentleman himself admitted that he went in to fight in the usual way, but something seemed to l&t go and the veneer of civilisation dropped -from him .and he became the jungle man. Sydney Smith sa?d, "As thei-e is much beast and some devil in man, s o there is some Angel and, Cod i,n him.' , rVVell, Brother Archer can sa,y which part he met in his contest. *. * * * It is written that the wise men came from the East. One cannot say if they shewed their wisdom by simply coming from ; the Bast or because they were born in the East. All I can say is thjat Tim Armstrong showed ire .wisdom in selecting the East when the choice was left to him to say whether he would contest the North or the Bast. Tim had to face the Doctor. The Doctor had many advantages. First, he had held the s&afc for some time. Second, the Doctor 'had command' of some cash. And some cash counts. Not that you can bribe the electors, but the newspapers want th.-e.ir , bit. A candidate cannot Ignore the newspapers, and the newspapers know thiat and levy toll accordingly. The workingman with the capitalist mind must be met. He reads the papers, it's his gospel truth. If he sees a pound of tripe in a newspaper and the Editor says it's fried fish, then, by gosh, it's fried fish to Henry. He'll swallow anything no sees in a newspaper. Soap, p"lls, beans or anything. So those with' cash get the advantage with Henry. But the Doctor met a snag. Tim is a wireless set. He has got one of those soft, purring voices that carries. ,• He spoke |2,t one end o£ his electorate and people at the other end heard his voice. Children woke from the'-r sleep and urged Mum to vote lot Tim or to promise to vote or anything to keep him quiet. So Tim won and the Doctor is indisposed. .* * # # In the Avon it was a funny fight. Our Dan had to meet the only lady who stood in Canterbury. Some said Dan was aio gentleman for not offering the Lady his seat. But Dan. -s a curly-haired boy. The God of beauty smiled on Dan in his cradle. So Dan had become callous to the charms o£ the fair sex, and he clung to his seat. Besides if Dan had shown any sigH3 of being weary of his seat then Brother Ric. Russell would have slipped in. So Dan held on and won. Personally, I am glad, because every morning when I opened my two penneth of poison, there w f as Annie grinning at mc with one of those kiss-me-grins and it got on my nerves. - »** ' » - Jack McCullough had to meet two very popular gentlemen. And he lost. There are some people who go to Parliament who absolutely* know nothing of political economy. They get there because they have such swfeet whiskers. Well, George. Witty gets there every time because of something. No one knows what. * * * # In Lyttelton McConibs had to meet a road contractor— -a. gentleman well versed in the art of getting Henry to work for hint. And '&& the' gentleman himself -said, ,f l;Jiayehad men work-: lag for mc tor W veare and Boany ot

them ane willing to come back." But he has got to work for himself for three' years because he couldn't get McCombs' job. Gur. Mod. .simpler mesmerises the electors. He runs up and down the Index numbers and they drop off to sleep murmuring, "I vote McCombs." • '<*--**' In the South it was an easy irtoau Teddy Boy had to 4!ace three gentlemen of different shades of opinion. One was a gentleman who has been Secretary for the Education Department for many, many years. 'And as bAs month's holiday was due, he decided, or someone decided, to rlat him have a flutter. Of course. Big Bill didn't expect to capture this but, as every little helps, as the lady said who emptied the teapot into the sea, they gave it a go. Bro|ther Ell, too, had a flutter. No one ! took him seriously because they knew Harry had shot Ills bolt. Then came another young fellow with ambit'on and a tenner. He called himself the "Humanist Candidate," but that darned small boy turned it into the "Humourous Candidate," and he was done 4;rom the start.' ■ - # # * *• At Timaru Brother Vinnell had to meet a very popular, good-tempered young lawyer. The people of Caroline Bay just loved him for his beauty, but not for that alone.- We can win T-iinaru. It only wants a littl-9 help down there and we can win. & * * * Now, if there is a c.?.ke to be given. Fred. Riley Oooke deeei'ves it. Someone told Fred, that the cocldes would eat him if he went to Ashburton. So Fred, got a supply of salt and pepper and went forth for the feast. Cockey came. He came in motor cars, in. traction engines, in drays and isx all sorts and -sizes of vehicles. But Cockey came. Fred, told them about their mortgages and who was getting the Interest on their debts. The Cockey came to knock chips off Fred., but they went home and kicked themselves instead. The farmer has come t o believe that ue is a b-t of a god. Hβ has defied himself. He believes he is the backbone of the Country. He doesn't yet realise that he has got curvature of the wish-bone. But Cockey's waking. And when h« wakes up fully then he will come to the Labour Party. Fred, takes tfcf cako alright. * * * * Can Canterbury be won for Labour! Canterbury can.