BRIEF MENTION.

Marlborough Express, Volume XLIV, Issue 125, 3 June 1910, Page 5

BRIEF MENTION.

"A little nonsense now and then, is relished by the wisest men." Health to the King, and prosperity to the people. An ounce of prevention is a good antidote to remorse. Some men's respect for themselves seems to be largely based on a lack of unbiased information. Say! what runs from Picton to Blenheim without moving?— The railway. Three bundles of French asparagus were sold at Covent Garden, London, on April 14, for £3 13s 6d. In accordance with directions, in her will, a woman who died at Marseilles recently was buried in her piano. Tommy's mother: "Why aren't you a good boy, ( like Willie Jones?" Tommy: "Huh! It's easy enough for him to be good; he's sick most of the time." A bread and butter slicing machine* which will cut 200 slices a minute, is being shown in Manchester. • A town of two-roomed flats for laborers, to be let at half-a-crown a week, is being built at Puda-Pesth. Mrs X. (quarrelling): "And what would you be now if it hadn't been for my money?" Mr X. (calmly): "A bachelor, my dear." In two years the Kentisbeare (Devon) Parish Council has only spent 3s, but it has cost 14s to audit the accounts. Wigg: "There seems to be quite a difference between a job and a situation." Wagg: "Oh, yes. For instance, when a fellow loses his job, he often finds himself in an embarrassing situation." ; If hats are smaller, hatpins get bigger every minute. Diamond hatpins (says the Court Journal) are likely to retain their popularity— with those who can afford them. A voting machine has just been put to the test at Milan. In addition to speed in counting, it is said to ensure complete secrecy as well as accuracy. ' 'Hear ' about Pet kins ? Pretty tough." "No. What?" "The poor fellow, dropped into the vernacular, bumped against a hard word, ana split his infinitive." Mr Haldane states that this year 7353 Army officers will receive £2,----000^000. in half-pay or pensions, and 85,965 non-commissioned officers and m|en £2,094,000. ("There's nothing like settling down," said the retired merchant confidentially to his neighbor. "When ■I .gave up business I settled down, arid found I had quite a comfortable fortune. If I had settled up I should nqt have had a cent." As in many garrison towns in Ftance, it is the custom at Cahors toi give the poor the remains of the soldiers' meals. The cook of the 7th Regiment has just been punished by the colonel for serving the hungry folk with soup in dirty receptacles. i"Do you see that man going along with his head in the air, sniffing with his nose?" "Yes; I know him." "I suppose he believes in taking in the good, pure ozone." "No; he's hunting for a motor garage, I believe." ' Dr. Boulle, of St. Valerin, has just completed his 100 th year. His father and his grandfather were also doctors, the succession dating back to 1750. Dr. Boulle when 98 climb- , ed "a ladder to the top of his house when it was on fire, and helped to save the furniture. "The court does not see the necessity for according you time to speak on of your client, since he has formally confessed his guilt." "Only a ihoment, your honor," insisted the law,yer. "I only want to call your attention to the fact that my client is an lawful liar." An old woman, who made a precarious living as a swineherd at Arion, on the borders of Luxemburg, has received news that she had"inherited £250,000. When she was told the: news, the old woman, who is a widow, and childless, said calmly: "That's good news; I'm glad of that. , I shaill be able to buy a new apron and. a little field of potatoes. I've been wanting them'for years." A very dirty boy attended a certain school. One day the teacher sent the boy's mother a note saying that he was not clean and that she ought to bathe him oftener. The mother sent the teacher a note in reply, in which she said: "My boy Bill ain't no rose. Don't smell,him,.j learn him." '