Oddments

Greymouth Evening Star, 22 September 1949, Page 4

Oddments

We are all born equal—even a new baby owes his share of the national debt.—Chai Kerry, U.S.A. * * * * * A cockney woman was bemoaning the fact that her husband had left her for the sixth time. “Never mind,” sympathised, her neighbour, “he’ll come back again.” “Not this time,” she sobbed. “He’s taken his dart-board.” —London Opinion. I * * * * * Profoundly peaceful and serene, i The golf course spreads its pleasant j green. ■ Glowing beneath the summer sky, Its fairways soothe the jaded eye. Even its sand traps and its rough Are bland and picturesque enough | To calm the nerves of one who may ■ Regard it from a mile away. j Yet men with pyrotechnic words 1 And torment in their souls Revile the trees, the grass, the birds Among these 18 holes. —P. J. Blackwell, McLean’s, Canada. ***** A good many will have seen the picture of a doctor removing his own appendix. But did you know that two , days later he was back at work “feeling fine”? He is Dr George Balderston, of Teluride, Colorado. He considers himself proof that patients should get back on their feet as sodn as possible after surgery.

‘ Another surgeon administered spinal anaesthesia and stood by while Dr Balderston operated. * :S * * sis.

During the visit of an overseas liner to the Bluff recently, it became firmly established that the folk thereabouts were a fine bunch of fellows, writes a correspondent of the Evening Post, Wellington. About 2 a.m. it was suggested that the famous Bluff oysters would be the perfect climax to a very happy evening, but the difficulty was to get any at that hour. The only hope ap- ! peared to be a visit to the. oyster boat lying at her berth not far away. I The boat’s cook was awakened and after a few spots he agreed that no overseas visitors could possibly de- i part from Bluff without sampling the 1 famous oysters. A sack of oysters was tiltimately obtained from the medley in the pantry, and it was proudly borne in procession back to the liner. - It was manoeuvred up - the long, steep gangway and dumped outside the ship’s galley. There were oysters f a-plenty, a whole sackful, enough for > lasting impressions and never-to-be- j forgotten hospitality. ' . ’ I But the much-prized sackful of! presumed goodness ’ was not all it seemed—the chunks of coal it contained were dumped overboard by the disgusted bloke who had paid 10 bob for it! „■ i It has not yet been' discovered ex- I actly what the cook on 'the oyster boat used for fuel; maybe it was a good rich sack of oysters! —The Seeker