WOMAN AND HER MASTER. By Polly Plum.

Daily Southern Cross, Volume XXVI, Issue 3972, 16 May 1870, Page 7

WOMAN AND HER MASTER. By Polly Plum.

There is no subject that is causing more agitation in this age than that of the place Of women, and it so nearly and individually concerns every woman that the reflective and thoughtful of the sex find in it a continual source of interest. . . , I never take up a newspaper/without something in it — too often, alas, in" the "p'olicd intelligence " — bringing the matter again forcibly to my mind. I My opinions are so well known that perhaps I hardly-, need reiterate that I i hold that it is^rigfit and orderly? for a man to be the heiad of his~ own household. It seems most fair, most equitable, that the one who is responsible should be the one to rule. But this rule is so open to abuse, and is so often abused, that I think every one who feels interested in the welfare of the human race should continue to agitate/ until something is done to improve the position of the wives of unprincipled men. Now, women don't like to parade their matrimonial troubles. Many women will submit to real martyrdom, sooner than go into a Court of justice against him whom they have sworn to love, honour, and obey ; and I think it is a pity that some law is not made, to enable a wife to get justice, without such an absolute break-up of all conjugal i relations as going to Court implies. How [ would it do if all men were obliged to hand over a certain reasonable proportion of their incomes to their wives for household expenses, such amount to be clearly fixed, and pertain absolutely and by right to all wives ? By all means, let those who abuse their right, waste, throw away, and run in debt, forfeit the privilege ; but if | a woman so spent her share as to make her home and husband as comfortable as the sum permitted (and, in nine cases out of ten, I venture to predict that she would do so), then it would be a boon and a blessing. Such a rule would do more than any Dermissive bill to prevent drunkenness. A man with two pounds per week, absolutely obliged to hand over thirty shillings to his wife, would not have a large surplus to spend in liquors; and if awoman knew that by waste and debt she would forfeit a right held by her neighbours, her pride at least would, except in very bad cases, keep her steady. Then what a world of deceit, falsehood, and cajolery would be done away with. Men set up the best type of women to be a soft and simpering creature. If he comes home cross, she smiles ; if he abuses her still, she smiles perhaps with a little inaudible sigh (as she is supposed to be human, and have feelings well hidden under the smiling exterior); if he goes home drunk, still she smiles, and now with a little hidden tear ; and so, after smiling persistently through & page or two of bad treatments, she is rewarded with a kiss in the last paragraph; and very dear at the price, say unbelieving I. Thus fondly writes the masculine teacher, knowing as well as I do that such a woman, is a myth, an impossibility; that no woman unless a born idiot, can bear injustice, misunderstanding, unkindness, with an unruffled brow. She may, and she often does, choke the rising sob, the bitter words ; and all honour to her if she can ; but to sweetly smile on an unreasonable despot, a drunken sot, is quite beyond all the possibilities of belief, in any one who knows human nature. So put aside all idea of foisting her on womankind as a model. Quite out of the question, my dear sirs. I must allow, however, that there is a good deal of smiling deceit and cajolery among women, though I -cannot speak of it with the admiration; men are too apt to bestow upon it — I rather deplore it, — and it has its rise in that fruitful source of all evils, money. A. woman "coaxes" for anewbonnet, or dress, or carpets, or carriage, as the case may be. Mamma tells little Katie that she niusb " coax " papa for a new hat, or a new toy, so that the sex begin early to practice this dangerous, but effective kind of deceit. There are very few men insensible to the kind of flattery called coaxing; and women, as a rule, take advantage of their weakness in this point, and, when they have gained their end, chuckle at having so cleverly befooled that pretentious animal, their " lord and master." All the intelligence and learning of the present day has done very little for women as wires. It has increased their mental status, without ameliorating their condition. It has made them able to think and act reasonably and individually, and yet still insists on tying their hands — educates them like men, treats them like children, aud they will rebel. Wise and good men have said to me, " What is the use of all this agitation? If God wills that there shall be a change in the position of women, it will come about in God's own good time." Of course: in thia I humbly and heartily concur ; but still it does not appear to me a roason for sitting with folded hands. God does not "work without agents. Every step of .progress has been initiated and carried out by human agency. God is in all good things — the moving power, — but man is the visible medium. Yet, though ages upon ages have demonstrated this great truth, there are always to be found those who say to inventors, discoverers, reformers. •'Let be, let be ; if God wills it, He will do it of His own might." The only way to answer these people is to say, " Put your trust in God, and shoulder the wheel." God helps those who help themselves." I am far from saying that there not many women whose liyes are most happy, most enviable, who enjoy far more than a due proportion of the comforts their husband's means can supply ; many women whose husbands are very "slaves, working day and niglit that their wives and children maylive easily, and fare sumptuously. » But this doeq not affect the general question. There are some slave owners so good, so kind, that their 'slaves are really over-petted and useless extravagances. The publication of "Uncle Tom's Cabin" called forth from the indignant South many well-authenticated instances of this; but did any one abolitionist consider the fact that there were many kind masters any excuse for the system ? Did they argue that, as many did not abuse the power, it was therefore safe to trust man with irresponsible power over his fellow-men? . Certainly, not, and yet this is just the argument of tnose who uphold the marriage law as it ''Many wives are happy; most manage to 'jog along' without , an absolute split; and for the few thousands that 'are unutterably wretched, the victims of drunkards, brutes, misers, fee. 1 , they must just put up with. it. < What on earth has it got to do with us? We are not in their position, and neither are you, Polly Plum : so let us comfortably shake ourselves down with our dressing^ gowns and slippers, take up a love atory where all is beauty, brightness,, andr bride-cake, and, consign the police sheet, witK its ', brutal wife-beatings, &c., to the waste-paper bask'ei" ' No', ' ! Poliy' Plum cannot do it. At the risk of being set down as a bore and a nuisance, she must continue to agitate and try to raise the sympathies of happy men and women to feel for those poor women whom the existing marriage law places in the sad position of almost absolute dependence on the will and caprice of a vicious tyrant, with no hope of release but t death, or, what is to many the worse alternative, the. Police Court. A law that secured to all women a fair share of their husbands' means for the Bupport of themselves and their children would not press hardly on those husbands ;whor are -quite" ready and willing toteupporfc th#ir families, v wbUst it would *prov<r J an bdoh to many a poor, " suffering creature, 'who cannot obtain from a monster gQodjj wrages j ,<- even . the v > - sum jnecessaiyf6ffobd'a'n'd:shelter. ' I should be glad if some one else would take up the consideration of the subject. :': ' 'Writing specially for those who really suffer by the existing marriage law, I have not entered into the question of those^ who merely "jog along together," as too many do. pi believe they would «' jog along much better more openly/ aqxd .wjffchsjessdepeit and {want ,of harmo*ny, if the wife clearly Vgaew what she had to \spend, what she might ~ Jigriend, -and the , extent- o£ her husband s ,\ I " ' '' -" " ' - / ' '

'"means' and- resources. How "many, many .quarrels would be spared. Now, the wife often does not know his means or his engagements, and, on the very morning he has a heavy bill to meet, she will ask for a new bonnet. She has seen a "little darling "at Miss Muslin's : won't he let her have it ? (with a coaxing smile). This is too much, for the poor fellow, up to the eyes fo JSouble-abpuKthe hundred or two due to 1 " Parchmentand Scrip;" and ho flies into a rage and out of the house with a bang, telling her 'her extravagance will be his ruin; and yet, very likely, she is not extravagant. Possibly, .a week or „two, before, when not immediately annoyed by "JParchment and Scrip," he' brought homo a Prayer Book or a bracelet for his wife, or some luxurious trifle for himself ; and she remembers this, and struggles hard with her fee ings as they rise against his unreasonableness and injustice, for men are more extravagant and less judicious thanj-women in spending money, j and often buy trifles for the house, '• whilst they declare they have no money for real wants. If the lady we are imagining is a good woman, she will succeed in the struggle with her feelings, and meet her husband with forgiveness ; but how such scenes must try the perfect love and trust that should subsist between them. This feeling will greatly depend on how he has succeeded with Parchment and Scrip. If Jones has settled that long-due account; and when the billispaid,withabalance,hewillmost likely be amiable, and voluntarily concede the coveted bonnet, and perhaps add the gift of something she doesn't want ; whereas she j would be glad of the money for something she does. However, she is only too glad that it has all come right, and smilingly, accords her forgiveness for the little temper caused by that horrid business ; and the evening is all harmony and happiness. But if Parchment and Scrip have not got their money it may take weeks to dispel the gathering clouds ; and every day of dissension makes the re-union a harder business. Some men tell their wives all their affairs, and doubtless that is a good way ; but then we come back to the old argument. It all rests absolutely on the "will" of the man; the wife has in many cases immense moral influence, but the legal power is irresponsibly his, so long as he neither maims, kills, nor starves her or her children ; and I do maintain, and I ever shall maintain, that this is too much power to give to any merely hiiman creature over any other human being, possessed equally with himself of intelligence and an immortal soul; and unless you can deprive women of feelings, thoughts, and souls, reducing them merely to animal existences, you have no right to place them in a position so perilous to their happiness, so lowering to their integrity. Don't point me to> happy wives. I again say there are men who might be trusted with absolute, autocratic authority, with irresponsible power, even over life and limb ; but is that, can that be an argument for giving all men a power such as they now hold ? I cannot think so, whilst gaols, police, and bailiffs are in the land. , ,