FACETIÆ.

Clutha Leader, Volume XXIV, Issue 1222, 3 December 1897, Page 3

FACETIÆ.

Little Boy : Give me a bito of your . cincly, please, Floss}-. Flossy : No, I won't; but you may kiss me while my mouf is s'icky. ] The Colonel : ' So poor old Mike has committed suicide, has he? Well, I \ j should have thought that would have j j been the last thing he'd have done.' ' | Tenant : Which it were, sor.' Flippant Cockney (to countryman) : 'Are there many fools in this part of the world, my !ad V Yokel : ■* Not as I knows on, zur. D'ye feel a bit lonesome like V Polly : ' What's Freddie crying for V Dolly : ' Because he dug a big hole in the garden, and mother won'c let him bring it into the house,' The Groom (very wealthy) : ' Why did you marry an ordinary fellow like nief The Bride: ' I 'haven't the slightest idea ; but minima managed the whole affair.' ** Jack told me last night that he had given me his heart/ ' Well, its damaged good*?. He. told me last week that I had broken it.' Waiter (to guest who is absorbed in the menu) : ' What clo you wish to eat, please 1 ?' Absent-minded Professor: ** I haven't time to talk now. Ask me after dinner.' Max : 'I gave that man 4s the other day, nnd I tell you he made me, sweat for it.' Kitson : ' Yes 1 What is he V 1 Proprietor of a Turkish bath.' 'Did yon tell her T was out, B.idgofV <T did, mum.' • What did she say V ' " Thank 'eavens !'* mum.' 'Bus Driver (to hated rival) : ' Yah ! ; Don't you talk about faces. Yours is like a wax work wot's been too near a stove.'