IN BOTTLES, TOO

Dit-Dah, Volume 1, Issue 2, 8 December 1939, Page 1

IN BOTTLES, TOO

In battle much assistance is obtained from the Clank Corps, a very mechanical force consisting of whippets, snippets, tappets and other bone-shaking devices. Co-operation is also obtained from Artillery, which is composed of Light Artillery and Dark Artillery. Horse-drawn Artillery is known as Draught Artillery (also obtainable in bottles). Cavalry are of great assistance to Infantry by hiring out horses for polo. Then, of course, there are the Signals, who are beloved by the tradesmen of the towns near which they are quartered (especially the publicans and pugilists).

■3y

(would you believe it ?)

The Signals are likened to . Here of old, who fiddled while the A.S.C. marquee burned. The Signals, or Iddy-Umpties. are a very up-and-down unit, as their N.C.O.’s are fully aware - up one week and dowb the next. These N.C.O.’s came from Hollywood, and take first-class acting parts. The health of the troops is entrusted to the Army Medical Ccjr'ps, which, being an Irish regiment, has two mottoes: (1) ”A No- 9 Saves Time” (Lovelly); . ; (2) ”We Kill One Bird With Two 'Stones.” ; ) In spite of all th? assisi tance and co-operation, it takes seven years to train a soldier and nearly as long to entrain two soldiers. After the seven years he is returned to lead a civil life. A certain percentage of old soldiers Ack-Acks” )is retained in order to maintain the profits of the wet canteens. After 48 years’ performance of this duty they are given a medal (two bars), whereupon they just fade away acco'Tding to traditon.