TRY A SMILE

Camp News, Volume 1, Issue 33, 26 July 1940, Page 5

TRY A SMILE

AT MESS. Jack: By jove, George, the butter is on the turn. George: On the turn, Jack? I think it is half-way up the straight. * * * * * . i ' The beautiful actress was visiting a military hospital. “Did you kill a German?” she asked the occupant of the first bed. “Yus, lady,” he said. “Which hand did you use?” “Me right ’and.” The actress took his right hand and kissed it. The turn of the man in the next bed came. “I killed hundreds of ’em,” Tommy answered. “And which hand did you. kill them with?” Tommy leant forward eagrely. “I BIT ’EM TO DEATH,” he replied. ***** “This meat’s bad,” complained the housewife, throwing the parcel on the counter. The butcher unwrapped the meat, smelled it. “It’s not the meat that smells, ma’am, ” he declared. “That’s the trouble”—pointing to a picture of Hitler on the wrapping. “Even his picture stinks.” _ \ *** * , / ’■ The recruit had just received the “King’s ■ shilling.” He inspected it carefully, bounced it on the desk, and remarked, “ ’Ere, this. bob don’t ring very well.” “Wot the ’ell d’you expect for a shilling?” growled the recruiting officer, “blinkin’ peal of bells?” *** \ * FIXED. First Militiaman : Is there any graft in the Army? ‘ Second Militiaman: Well, tliey do say the bayonets are fixed.