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Camp News, Volume 1, Issue 23, 17 May 1940, Page 7

YULE SMILE ■‘Good morning,” said the tramp. “Has the doctor any old trousers he does not require ? • ‘ “No, I’m afraid they would not fit you,” replied the lady of the house ■ with a smile. “I’m very handy with a needle,” answered the tramp. But the lady remained adamant. “What makes you so sure? Can’t I see if they’ll fit?” the tramp persisted. “Well, if you must know,” replied the lady, “I happen to be the doctor.” *■* * * The live-wire salesman walked into the factory and said to the manager: “I want to sell your men my course on ‘How to put fire and sparkle into your work.’ “Not much you don’t,” said the manager. “This is a shell-filling factory.” * * * * THE COLONEL’S GOOD ONE! “While watching the German lines one day,” said the old colonel, “I saw a German guarding an ammunition dump. Picking up a rifle, I fired a quick shot, knocking the cigarette lighter he was holding out of his hand. “I took careful aim and fired again —but I’m almost ashamed to tell you the rest of the story. I had to shoot five times before I spun the wheel of the lighter, lit it, and blew up the dump.” * * * * * Smithy, hard nut of ’.the company, was stopped by an officer whom he had not saluted. “Why don’t you show respect? I have hundreds of men under me, and they all salute me,” said the officer. • “That’s nothing,” said Smithy. “Back home I had thousands under me, and they never saluted.” '• The officer (impressed): “What was your job?” “Mowing the grass in the cemetery,” replied Smith. * * * * Walking through the camp, the new militiaman passed a newly-fledged officer without saluting him. “Don’t you know you must salute an officer?” “Yes, sir,” meekly replied the private. “Right. So that you won’t forget next time, you can start right away and salute me ... a hundred times.” The private began. He had reached twenty when a senior officer butted in and inquired what was going on. The young officer blushingly explained. The senior officer smiled. “H’m. Very good; But all the time I’ve been in the Army I’ve always understood that an officer must return a salute. So we’ll start all over again . . . ana I’ll see that it’s done properly this time.”