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Camp News, Volume 1, Issue 19, 19 April 1940, Page 5

HAND OUT A SMILE THAT’LL LARN IT! The militiaman was doing his first sentry-go in the country. And when a pheasant got up, and nobody seemed near, he took a nice aim and dropped the bird. The Colonel appeared round a field corner. Gazing at the dead pheasant, with a triumphant air of unconsciousness that anybody was near, he said: “Try to peck me, would yer?” * ♦ * * Fed-up, the evacuees were on their I way to Sunday Schooland they could think of many more jolly things to do. “I’ll tell you what, Bill,” said one. i “Let’s toss up and let that decide. If it comes down heads we go fishing. If it comes down tails we’ll play football . . . and if it comes down on its edge we’ll go to Sunday School.” * * * * “You were telling a lie when you said you wanted leave to go to your mother-in-law’s funeral,’ ’said the officer. “Beg pardon, sir,” replied Tommy. “I didn’t say there was anything wrong with my mother-in-law. “I simply said I’d like to go to ’er funeral.” * * * * The local education officer, visiting a school for evacuated children, came across a very dull and backward pupil. “When Mr. Chamberlain was your age,” he remarked, “he was top of the class.” “Yus,” muttered the boy, “and when ’ee- was your age ’ee was Prime Minister.” * * * * The sergeant was putting a squad of recruits through funeral drill. Opening the ranks he walked slowly down the space between them. “Now, pay attention,” he snapped. “Imagine I’m the corpse.” Reaching the end of the line he turned round and regarded the recruits carefully. “You ’ands is right, your ’eads is right,” he muttered. “But you ’aven’t quite got that look of regret you ought to ’ave.” * * * * Every day for a week the little evacuees had fed on rabbit. Came Saturday, and the fostermother appeared with the old-fash-ioned country week-end medicine a dose of castor oil. “Cripes, missus,” said the eldest of the evacuees. “We don’t want no cas- | tor oil. What we wants is a bloomin’ ferret.” ! 54-044—Wellington Taxis. A Co-operative Services 4-044.