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Camp News, Volume 1, Issue 12, 1 March 1940, Page 5

SOMETHING TO EXPLAIN. Anxiously his evacuated wife studied a letter from her husband. He said he had consulted a doctor about his health, and had been advised to go carefully, as he was suffering ] from “syncopation” (medical term for heart affection, leading • to fainting fits). But the anxious wife looked up the word in the English dictionary, and this is what she saw: “An uneven movement proceeding from one bar to another!” • * He * 4: He Two evacuees were gazing at the shop window decorations, and outside a butcher’s shop saw several hams hanging amid a large holly branch. “Look, Tom, look at them ’ams a- , . owing up there.” “Get away,” said the other, “ ’ams don’t grow.” “Well, that’s all you know about it,” said the first, adding scornfully, I “Ain’t you ever ’eard of a ’ambush?” * * * * NO BETTER THE SECOND TIME. They had been lads of the village I together,-and twenty years later sud denly met at the recruiting office. “Well, after all these years,” said Tom. “Let’s have a drink?” “No,” was the reply. “I’ve been born again.” “What!” exclaimed Tom, looking at the other’s legs. “Born again— still bow-legged.” ***** THE NEW HEROISM. “Spare a copper, guv’nor, for an old hero of the battlefields, sir. I’ve survived four wars.” Gent (feeling for coppers): How did you manage it? “Kept out of ’em, guv’nor.” ***** A PRIVATE’S REVENGE. One long-suffering private had his crowded hour of glorious life a few days ago when nearly all the members of his platoon were on fatigue duties, and he was a lonely figure on parade. Soon, however, six N.C.O.’s filed out. His eyes gleaming, he sloped arms and marched out in front “In three ranks,” he shouted, “fall in. I’ll drive you for a change.” 54-044 Wellington Taxis. A Co-operative Service—s 4-044. i