The Club Smoking Room

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XLI, Issue 9, 26 August 1908, Page 4

The Club Smoking Room

By

HAVANA

THE negro problem in the States,” began the dotnine, “seems at present well nigh insoluble. Not only are the negroes increasing far more rapidly than the whites, but the racial hatred seems to grow more and more intense. There is no way out of the difficulty, except wholesale deportation, and to deport some ten million people is a task of appalling magnitude. But the thing will have to be done sooner or later, and the sooner it is done the better. There can never be any mingling of the races. The present outbreaks of mob violence are a standing menace to the civilisation and law of the States, but such outbreaks will continue to increase, and will grow in violence and intensity unless steps are taken to strike at the root of the evil by sending the negroes back to then- homes in Africa.” © © © “It is certainly a warning to us,” assented the politician, “not to allow anything to interfere ■with our policy of Asiatic exclusion. Coloured races multiply more rapfSly Dian white. The Japanese problem in America is already almost as acute as the negro. I should like to see all Asiatics absolutely excluded from the British dominions. It is hard enough for the white people to get on as it is; it would be ten times harder if they were called upon to face the competition of races who are popularly supposed to be able to live on the smell of an oil rag.” © © © “The Oriental,” remarked the head of a large importing firm, “has a very low standard of living, and is willing to work long hours for very little pay. I have known natives to live on twopence a day and to work for less than two shillings a week. Most Asiatics are possessed of great powers of endurance and of infinite patience. No white man could possibly compete against them. The danger of moral contagion from Eastern nations ean hardly be over-estimated. You have only to read the unexpurgated edition of Burton’s ‘Arabian Nights’ to realise this. Perhaps the worst feature of coloured labour is the baneful effect it has in lowering the estimation in which manual work is held. We want to raise, not lower, the status of our workers. You see evidence of this result in South Africa, where the whites look on working in the mines as beneath their dignity, and fit only for Kaffirs.” © © © “And yet,” interposed the cynic, “the unsophisticated dweller in the Pacific isles has solved many problems that still perplex the West. What could be more charmingly simple and practical than the marriage customs of New Guinea, for example? When a couple wish to marry they go into the garden and gather food together. The lady cooks the food on their return, and after they have both partaken of it the marriage is complete. Divorce is easier than even in America. If the husband refuses to eat food which his spouse has cooked for him, the woman is ipso facto divorced, and both are free to marry again or find substitutes, as the modern phrase goes.”

“Talking of food,” put in the lawyer, "reminds me of the awful threat used lately by the cooks in Paris in order to secure a rise in wages. They have actually threatened to divulge the secrets of the kitchen, and they say that if they do no one will ever have a meal in a restaurant again. The French cook has the reputation of being able to disguise all sorts of horrors by means of his skill in concocting piquant sauces and other dressings. The mere threat to disclose the actual constituents of French dishes must be sufficiently disquieting to restaurant diners. It is certainly a case of ignorance being more blissful than knowledge.” © © © “Had Zola been alive,” answered a country member, “he could have written another Jungle dealing with the “Vol au Vents” and sausages of the cheap eating house. Our system of inspection in New Zealand will be so rigid when the new abattoirs come into commission that there will be little fear of our own people being fed on any but the best of meat. Now that so much farm produce is apt to be condemned for one reason ox another in the interests of the general public, it is a question whether the Government should not start some form of insurance fund. The farmers could pay half the premium and the State the other half. It is a little hard on a man who is called upon, for instance, to cut down and destroy all his vines because of phylloxera that he should have to bear the entire loss himself. Though not an advocate of State subsidies in many matters, it yet seems to me only fair that the general public should bear its share in the cost of measures devised for its own protection.” © ©' © “Nowadays,” said an insurance manager, “you can insure against anything if you only pay sufficient premiums. Offices at Heino will insure newly-mar-ried couples against the misfortune of having twins, caterers for the amusement of the public ean protect themselves from loss through any particular day being wet, coin in the slot machines have been devised for the purpose of issuing policies covering every. description of accident risk. The day is not far distant when men will be able to insure against the risk of getting married, and women will be able to insure against the risk of not getting married by a certain age. The adjustment of the premiums to be charged in the latter case would call for a considerable amount of diplomatic talent on the part of the Company’s manager. It would be a delicate thing to have to tell a woman that you would be compelled to load her policy. It might lead to the manager having to draw on his own accident insurance policy.” © © © "The cheapest insurance in the world,” remarked the journalist, “is our own contribution to the British navy. For less than tcnpence per head of our population we have complete protection for our shores and our merchandise. It is to be devoutly hoped that the party of retrenchment at Home will not meddle with the navy &s they have done with the army. The Chancellor of the Exchequer seems to ridicule the idea of any possible war with Germany, but there i« nothing

that so much makes for peace as being prepared for war. The old age pensions and model dwellings would be precious little use to anybody if the fleet could not hold the English Channel against allcomers. At the same time, the building of so many Dreadnoughts entails au enormous outlay, and any reasonable scheme of limitation of armaments would be a boon to Germany as well as to ourselves.”