Don’t Marry With Only Love in the Bank.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXXVIII, Issue 12, 23 March 1907, Page 27

Don’t Marry With Only Love in the Bank.

To marry with only Iqve in the bank is the height of folly. It is best to be candid on this point, for frankness may be the means of making some couples, lost in Cupid’s kingdom, look on the practical side of marriage before becoming united in the bonds of matrimony. Love may be a very beautiful thing, but you cannot live on it. The baker would not give you a loaf of bread for a cartload of love. The idea seems to prevail with many young men and young women that the discussion of monetary matters spoils the true romance and sentiment of courtship. Of one thing they may be quite sure: The happiness of the marriage -will le irrevocably spoiled if they do not fully understand their financial position. It must be remembered that marriage is a most serious step, and that unless proper provision is made there will be a “ rift within the lute ” in a very short time. Of course, if all girls waited for marriage until their lovers’ bank balance was large enough to insure against all matrimonial risks it is doubtful if they would marry at all. But a girl should only marry a poor man if, in the first place, the latter has sufficient money with which to commence married life, and she is content that the home should be humble and the cost of living well within his means. The great fault with many girls in love is that they are eager to marry their poor suitor, but fail to recognise the fact that they must live in a much more humble manner than that to which they have been accustomed. The result is that after a time marriage loses its enchantment, and they begin to grumble. Maybe it will be said that the girl who truly loved a man would be quite willing to share a ! hut with him for as long as was necessary. Quite so, but poverty is a hard taskmaster and has killed many a romance. Neither is it sufficient that a lover should have just enough money to commence married life upon and be content to so remain. His sweetheart has a right to know, and should make a point iof learning, what his prospects are, whether he is ambitious to improve his position, and ready to take advantage of his opportunities at all times. Don’t marry a poor man with no afnbitions and energy. There are some men who never get on because: they spend their time in complaining of how harshly the world has treated them, instead of trying to surmount the obstacles and difficulties in their path. The woman who is married to such a man is to be pitied, and every girl who is engaged to a man whose position docs not compare favourably with that of other members of his sex should’ see that the fault does not lie with him. If it does, then she should seriously consider the advisability of remaining unwed, at any rate so far as he was concerned. Any girl with a grain of sense in her head knows that the man who has nevcv properly supported himself, or contributed his share of expenses, when living with his parents,-is not going to be able to support her. Matrimony with him will be the kind of grinding poverty that would kill the most robust sentiment that ever lived. That is the poverty that has no hope to gild its horizon, and no respect to make, its present endurable, and the mother should use. just as much effort to keep her daughter from marrying that type of man as she would to prevent her committing suicide in any other way.