Engagements—

Ladies' Mirror, Volume 4, Issue 11, 1 May 1926, Page 72

Engagements—

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In no phase of life do people buy their own experience more thoroughly, and sometimes more dearly, than in matters matrimonial. In any other act of life involving fateful consequences the experience of others would be appreciated. Yet none are so deaf as lovers to advice, and none so blind to the inconsistencies peculiar to engagements. In many cases the reasons given for an engagement are as irrelevant as they are varied. Probably the reason most usually given is that " she is so different from other girls," "he is so different from other men." The novelty of difference is undoubtedly attractive (states a writer in an English exchange). But Jack should bear in mind that Phyllis is still a girl, endowed like other girls with all the constitutional and mental peculiarities of her sex. She may differ from other girls to any degree, but only in degree. She is still a daughter of Eve. Jack may be different from other men, but his fiancee will discover in time that he is not so different as she at first imagined. Men as a type vary less than women. Under given circumstances men generally act alike. But no man can tell what a woman .will do next. would expect a partnership for life to be based on solid foundations. Yet in many cases the temporary rather than the permanent qualities weigh most. Perhaps he has a charming voice or striking eyes. Perhaps she has fascinating

"kiss"' curls, a seductive figure, or complexion .of peach-like bloom. Uncertain foundations, all, for a life partnership. Many engagements are founded on ideals. But ideals have a habit of crumbling before the rude touch of everyday life. Idealists will get engaged with the idea of reforming each other. Vain delusion, for marriage does not alter people as many so fondly hope; and rakes, coquettes, and gamblers remain unconverted sinners. Ideals alone are a doubtful foundation for lasting happiness. Few mortals can live up to them. History proves that the love affairs of idealists and geniuses seldom run smoothly. No doubt personal magnetism plays an important part in engagements. Like repels like, while opposites attract. People who are identical in temperament and character are not likely to : make good '. matches. So the flighty girl captures the strong, silent man, ; and .the world says, "How unsuitable !'-'■ The principals of a life partnership ought to know something of each other beforehand. Yet many engagements are the result of superficial acquaintance. In spite of our first parents' taste of the fruit of knowledge, it has not been granted to modern Adam really to know his helpmate Eve. To do so would shatter Paradise a second time. It is the unknown which fascinates. The unknown is the mirage of romance, the fata morgana of lovers. Banish mystery, and say farewell to engagements.